Canadian Dude Busted For Using Céline Dion's Bathtub

When I Googled "Celine Dion bathtub," this came up. Seems about right.

While the GREATEST SINGUH IN DA WORLD gave her husband René Angélil a sponge bath after feeding him a spoonful of her blended pastries (not a euphemism, so don't let your imagination open that trap door) at their mega mansion in Florida, a Canadian dude was practically doing the same thing at their mansion in Quebec.

E! News says that 36-year-old Daniel Bedard tried to open the front door to Saaaaaayleeeen's house, but when he found that shit was locked, he slipped into one of Ruuuunaaaay's cars (which was not locked) and pulled out the keys and a garage door opener. Yes, René left his house keys in his unlocked car. But what he lacks in simple common fucking sense, he makes up for in clit-throbbing pure sexiness (Exhibit A).

Daniel opened the door to Céline's house and felt the sensation of a hummingbird cooing into his ears and a swan running its feathery nipple along his skin (it's that forty five billion dollar air humidifier shit Céline installs in all the buildings she lives in).

What does a ho do in Céline's house? Naturally, you nibble on her pastries (again, not a euphemism, so pad lock that trap door already) and try to give yourself a French Canadian Calgon moment by running yourself a bath. What Daniel didn't know is that her silent alarm (which sounds something like this and can only be heard by the K9 unit) was set off and the police showed up at the front door as he was coming down the stairs.

Nerve is something Daniel has nothing of, because the first thing that came out of his was mouth when he saw the cops was: "Hey, guys what are you doing here?" The cops asked him the same thing, quickly put him in handcuffs and later charged him with breaking and entering, among other things.

Céline hasn't commented on this, but since her heart constantly pours out love the same way her tacky ass Florida water park pours out gallons of water, she's probably okay with this. It warms the edges of her soul knowing that a crazy bitch wanted to scrub at his taint in one of her bath tubs and filled his empty stomach with the placenta wrapped in skin she keeps in her fridge. Yeah, that's what that was. Do you really think Céline keeps snacks in her kitchen?

Posted by: Michael K

•

And You Are....? • Celine Dion

Submitted by becky n sydney on Wed, 09/07/2011 - 6:25pm.

Submitted by P.T.Bull on Wed, 09/07/2011 - 11:19am.
Here's a hot slut of the day: Drunken elk stuck in tree.

http://www.thelocal.se/36002/20110907/

""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
Bwahahahaha!!!

Submitted by SANS FARDS on Wed, 09/07/2011 - 3:24pm.

She has a waterpark? is that like the Neverland Ranch, or something? celebs are bizarre as hell.

_______________________________________________

"Fuck that guy for thinking anyone and everyone should want to do Glee."

- Dave Grohl

Submitted by Zambonie on Wed, 09/07/2011 - 1:10pm.

I hope he left her an upper decker

Submitted by RustyHooligan on Wed, 09/07/2011 - 12:44pm.

In more compelling tub news, an Arkansas TV weatherman awoke to find a dead man in a dog collar in his hot tub. Police suspect drink and drugs may have been involved.

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/2011/09/07/2011-09-07_arkansas_...

Submitted by seando on Wed, 09/07/2011 - 12:21pm.

I thought it was going to read Celine Dion caught using Paris Hilton's shoe as a bath tub.

Submitted by P.T.Bull on Wed, 09/07/2011 - 11:43am.

I dunno--its not worth anything if it doesn't have one of her french-canadian logs in it....

-------
Submitted by Mrs. F. on Wed, 09/07/2011 - 12:20pm.
didn't someone try to sell her toilet on ebay once? I think it was her... it was a toilet that had been in a house she rented before hitting it big... or something.

Submitted by P.T.Bull on Wed, 09/07/2011 - 11:42am.

Nice to see another perro on the board! You got me laughing again. Takes coyote ugly to a new level... And weatherboy will definitely move to a new demographic like LA that can shrug this sort of thing off.

--------
Submitted by Dog on Wed, 09/07/2011 - 11:36am.
Submitted by P.T.Bull on Wed, 09/07/2011 - 11:23am.

I saw that in NDNY. The last sentence said he wouldn't be on the air today because he was in mourning for his friend. Priceless! Like the fact that he was caught doing drugs and in a "sordid" situation have nothing to do with the fact that he isn't on the air!

Submitted by little_rascal on Wed, 09/07/2011 - 11:03am.

Submitted by Anonymoussss on Wed, 09/07/2011 - 12:09pm.

Submitted by ImpertinentVixen on Wed, 09/07/2011 - 12:01pm.

******************

Yeah, do you notice how we Canadians feel like we always have to apologize for Celine? :)
============

And don't forget Justin Bieber.

Submitted by Mrs. F. on Wed, 09/07/2011 - 10:50am.

didn't someone try to sell her toilet on ebay once? I think it was her... it was a toilet that had been in a house she rented before hitting it big... or something.

Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Wed, 09/07/2011 - 10:43am.

HEY, WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOIN HERE??!!!? hahahahahahahaha what a maroon!!

and that pic of the "clit-throbbing pure sexiness"... dude looks like a cheesy 70's villian from a Bond flick... Dr. Doofus.
_____________________________________________
"I have no snacks for you, only death." ~ annobanano, 08/03/2011

Submitted by Anonymoussss on Wed, 09/07/2011 - 10:39am.

Submitted by ImpertinentVixen on Wed, 09/07/2011 - 12:01pm.

******************

Yeah, do you notice how we Canadians feel like we always have to apologize for Celine? :)

Submitted by ImpertinentVixen on Wed, 09/07/2011 - 10:31am.

I am French-Canadian on my father's side, so I apologize for this twat. She can sing but is tacky in countless other ways (married a pepaw who groped her as a preteen, naming her kids Nelson and Eddy, not cutting that poor oldest one's hair, etc. etc.)

And I must say, Celine is laid à faire peur au diable!!!

I wonder if said whackadoo left skid marks on the bottom of her tub??? Are there nude photos for verificata of this???

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

Submitted by Anonymoussss on Wed, 09/07/2011 - 10:27am.

Submitted by Whamo on Wed, 09/07/2011 - 11:29am.
I'm surprised she even HAD food in the fridge. I mean that's the story here

************

LOL!

Submitted by Dog on Wed, 09/07/2011 - 10:06am.

Submitted by P.T.Bull on Wed, 09/07/2011 - 11:23am.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
www.charitywater.org

www.animalrescuesite.com

www.modestneeds.org

Submitted by guest on Wed, 09/07/2011 - 10:06am.

Submitted by louise_brooks on Wed, 09/07/2011 - 11:06am.

Weezy...you stalker stalker you! Lolol.

*****************

Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.

Submitted by QueenieBK on Wed, 09/07/2011 - 10:04am.

Submitted by Jana on Wed, 09/07/2011 - 11:24am.
here's link:
http://www.windsorstar.com/sports/Former+Wings+McCrimmon+Salei+killed+Ru...

they were players from all over the world and crew.

**************************************************

that is very sad

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"... and her temper worse than wildfire it is gunpowder and blows up everything ..." Mary Shelley

Submitted by Jana on Wed, 09/07/2011 - 10:03am.

Yeah, I'll be maybe back for the OP. Sorry if I ran off topic.

C'est Céline!!!

**************************************************
www.theanimalrescuesite.com - Click everyday to help animals in shelters

Submitted by Whamo on Wed, 09/07/2011 - 9:59am.

I'm surprised she even HAD food in the fridge. I mean that's the story here.

Submitted by Jana on Wed, 09/07/2011 - 9:54am.

here's link:
http://www.windsorstar.com/sports/Former+Wings+McCrimmon+Salei+killed+Ru...

they were players from all over the world and crew.

**************************************************
www.theanimalrescuesite.com - Click everyday to help animals in shelters

Submitted by P.T.Bull on Wed, 09/07/2011 - 9:53am.

Another possible post for MK:

This takes 'dude where's my car' drinking to a whole new level...

Weatherman wakes up in hot tub with dead man in dog collar nuzzled up to him.

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/2011/09/07/2011-09-07_arkansas_...

Submitted by Jana on Wed, 09/07/2011 - 9:51am.

Submitted by Oxygen on Wed, 09/07/2011 - 11:15am.
*************************************************

Thanks, I was literally shedding tears at work.
**************************************************
www.theanimalrescuesite.com - Click everyday to help animals in shelters

Submitted by P.T.Bull on Wed, 09/07/2011 - 9:49am.

Here's a hot slut of the day: Drunken elk stuck in tree.

http://www.thelocal.se/36002/20110907/

Submitted by Oxygen on Wed, 09/07/2011 - 9:45am.

Submitted by Jana on Wed, 09/07/2011 - 11:08am.
French and Canadian envisions in the last two posts, MK. Thanks for that nudge. I was, and am broken hearted about a plane crash in Russia which killed an entire hockey team, including Pavol Demitra (36) and other legends of the NHL. Sorry to be off topic, I'm in a state of disbelief.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Very sad. Sorry for the families, friends, and Russia for their loss.

Submitted by Raul Duke on Wed, 09/07/2011 - 9:45am.

Raul would have left her an Upper Decker and bailed.

http://thechive.com/2011/08/30/a-good-one-liner-can-turn-your-day-right-...

┌_П┐(•_•)┌П┐__
I'm not a living legend. I'm just a myth.

Submitted by Ophelias evil twin on Wed, 09/07/2011 - 9:42am.

MK that is some fine writing. I almost felt like SayLeen herself was actually speaking to me LOL!!

Her chef could have at least opened a can of
St-Hubert gravy and made him a poutine. All Quebekers have this in their pantry. It's the law.

Submitted by You_Complete_Me. on Wed, 09/07/2011 - 9:41am.

That looks more like Mimi's bathtub.

<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>
"okayyy lets not make a goddess out of Maria Shiver now. It's from her bitch face that she is a cunt." - cuntwhore (2011-08-08)

Submitted by Jana on Wed, 09/07/2011 - 9:38am.

French and Canadian envisions in the last two posts, MK. Thanks for that nudge. I was, and am broken hearted about a plane crash in Russia which killed an entire hockey team, including Pavol Demitra (36) and other legends of the NHL. Sorry to be off topic, I'm in a state of disbelief.

**************************************************
www.theanimalrescuesite.com - Click everyday to help animals in shelters

Submitted by louise_brooks on Wed, 09/07/2011 - 9:36am.

I would totally eat a celebs food. They probably buy all the brand name and fancy gourmet shit. I'd steal their Ziplock freezer bags and Press 'n Seal (Target brand of those things suck balls).

But that bath thing is just weird.

My favorite celebrity break in was the girl who broke into Brad Pitt's house and was found wearing his sweats. Then when she was interviewed by the news she was all like, "Hell yeah, I broke into Brad Pitt's house! Woooohooo!!!!"

Submitted by Deb on Wed, 09/07/2011 - 9:35am.

M.E., LOL! I bet she wasn't even a natural blonde!

"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson

Submitted by Jintess on Wed, 09/07/2011 - 9:32am.

I would SO break into a house for pastries right now.
Well, depends on the pastry. If they have Boston cream filled chocolate covered donuts, they need to hide their keys.

Submitted by M.E. on Wed, 09/07/2011 - 9:31am.

Deb - right? That little blonde bitch.

Submitted by Deb on Wed, 09/07/2011 - 9:29am.

Submitted by M.E. on Wed, 09/07/2011 - 10:48am.
I don't understand crazed looneys. Really. WTF do you get out of breaking into a celebritys house, eating their food and taking a bath?

I seriously don't get it.
----------------------------------
M.E., I blame Goldilocks for starting this shit. Not that the Three Bears were celebs or anything...:)

"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson

Submitted by guest on Wed, 09/07/2011 - 9:22am.

Mmmmmk. Lmao @ what r u guys doing here tho. Bwhahahaha.

******************

Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.

Submitted by M.E. on Wed, 09/07/2011 - 9:18am.

I don't understand crazed looneys. Really. WTF do you get out of breaking into a celebritys house, eating their food and taking a bath?

I seriously don't get it.

Submitted by Thamar on Wed, 09/07/2011 - 9:18am.

from your link MK on Celine's waterpark:

"Reports indicate that the singer’s neighbors on Jupiter Island are less than pleased with the addition of the massive aquatic center. Apparently the community was forced to adhere to water restrictions after Dion, who was fined for her water usage, used up all of the island’s fresh water supply.

In an attempt to placate the neighbors, the 42 year old had 6 wells built on her property which will be used to store the 6.5 million gallons of water it will take to keep the “My Heart H2O Will Go On” park running each year."

holy shit

"OH YOU FANCY HUH" - KA

Submitted by Deb on Wed, 09/07/2011 - 9:15am.

Uh....OK.

"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson