Threatening UK environmental laws with the twelve layers of ozone layer-burning fake tanner grease on her mannequin skin and the non-biodegradable weave on her head, England’s second finest rose (after Jodie Marsh, of course) Katie Price put her Day-Glo coochie and roasted ham titty sacks on display at the launch of her magazine in London today. Yes, Katie Price has her own magazine. It’s for you hos out there who want to show people at the checkout counter that you’re an ambitious reader who is hoping to eventually work your way up to Highlights Magazine. It’s also to show hos that you’re okay with a reading a magazine that is made of more natural products than the trick it was named after.
Even though Katie looks like a Dollar General plastic doll after a Butterfinger bukkake, I can’t completely cover her with shaded hate. I’m saying that because I’m sure that when she got home today, our angel of angels Harvey Price threw that bitch a “Why is this heffa darker than my ass?” look that just lit the air on fire. That is worth the price of everything.