This February, the biggest dressing room at the Kodak Theater will be filled with tranny hookers and fat suits a plenty, because Eddie Murphy is going to host the 84th annual Oscar awards. Brett Ratner, who is producing that shit, made it official in a statement to Deadline:
“Eddie is a comedic genius, one of the greatest and most influential live performers ever. With his love of movies, history of crafting unforgettable characters and his iconic performances — especially on stage — I know he will bring excitement, spontaneity and tremendous heart to the show Don and I want to produce in February.”
The last time Eddie was at the Oscars, he flew into a full-on dramatic cunt queen tantrum complete with chapped ass when he lost to Alan Arkin, so this is the perfect choice!
Here’s hoping that Brett Ratner finds a way to resurrect “Raw” Eddie Murphy or asks Ricky Gervais to fill Eddie with some of that “not trying to give a fuck” attitude. But you know, if Eddie told every one of his “jokes” from Meet Dave while wearing a fat lady suit as a choir of animals from Doctor Doolittle hummed out Party All The Time, it would still be more entertaining than the unflavored skid mark that James Franco and Anne Hathaway scooted across the stage at the last Oscars. Actually, Eddie better open with the Doctor Doolittle animals singing Party All The Time.