Detective La Toya Jackson’s long lost son (HE WISHES!) Cheyenne Jackson, who your eyeballs might have fallen on during 30 Rock, Glee or Xanadu: The Musical, married his physicist piece of 11 years Monte Lapka on a beach in New York yesterday. Cheyenne let their dog Zora know that she’s no longer going to get “you bastard out of Gayolina” eyes of judgement from the religious bitches at the dog park when he Tweeted this after the wedding:
It’s official, after 11 years together, Zora’s no longer a bastard. Married the best man I’ve ever known.
Congratulations to Cheyenne Jackson and the dude who looks like he spends precious hours meticulously manicuring his sharp as fuck beard with a protractor, pinky shears and a picture of Norwood Young’s hairline as inspiration. Also congratulations to white button down shirts and white pants. You’re no longer mostly known as the ensemble of choice for boy bands of the 90s and Christian family portrait sessions. You’re now known as the ensemble of choice for gay beach weddings. UPGRADE!