All Is Well In The World Again: Posh Is Back In Heels

An international emergency was called when Posh was photographed out in L.A. a few days ago wearing what she calls paraplegic heels (aka flats). The excuse at the time was that Posh suffered from a slipped disc or some shit and her feet were put on high heels rest by her doctors. THAT IS NO EXCUSE. Slipped disc or not, the public-at-large counts on Posh to always show us that shit is right in the world by wearing heels so high that it makes our ankle bones shiver like a crazy Christian at a trans convention.

I don’t care if bitch’s disc is doing the Slip ‘N Slide, she needs put on those heels and channel the pain from her back into the snobby bitchface she always launches at hos. I don’t care if bitch loses her legs in a freak red carpet accident, she needs to strap those heels to her stumps and hop like a motherfucker. But thankfully, we can call off the international emergency, because Posh was back to wearing back-breaking heels of death while shopping with her family in West Hollywood yesterday.

Posh made the right decision and had all of her back bones removed so that she doesn’t have to live a tortured life of only wearing flats. Bitch is so light that the wind can hold her up as she struts in front of the camera. It’s true that she can never sit in a chair again, but she can wear heels for centuries to come and that’s all that matters.

That weave on the other hand….