So you know that girl in the pink from Rebecca Black’s Friday video who got turned into an according playing GIF? No? Well, just keep shaking your head (the same way you do whenever Rebecca Black’s name comes up) when I tell your ass that her name is Benni Cinkle (which sounds like the name of a joint ailment) and she’s got a new song where she auto-tune yodels about plastic bags flying in the wind over a 90s techno beat from the Ultra Nate soundboard.
Just like every damn pop star before her, Benni Cinkle’s message is that if you’re a gay teen, a fat teen in a vest, a teen cutter, a knocked up teen, a teen who can’t dance, a bulimic teen or a teen with a dad who yells a lot, it always gets better. You know what I also hope gets better? Benni’s lip gloss choices, because that color only belongs on a 4-year-old drag princess contestant on RuPaul’s Junioress Drag Race (Dear LOGO, please greenlight RuPaul’s Junioress Drag Race).
Remember this shit in a couple of months when I tell you, “Do you remember that teen girl barfing into a toilet in the music video by that girl in the pink from Rebecca Black’s Friday video? This is her new video.”
And more importantly, why did they make Benni Cinkle look like a 45-year-old at the club with first degree Christina Darling face?