Brittany With A Black Eye

Here’s Heather Morris (that’s Brittany on Glee if you can’t be bothered with government names) with one of Chris Brown’s greatest hits playing on her left eye during a “Bruised Barbie” photo shoot for photographer Tyler Shields. Even though this mess looks like stills from the Disney Channel’s remake of The Burning Bed, Tyler Shields swears on his bible of staged fuckery that this photo shoot is not sprinkling bits of glamour on top of domestic violence. Tyler tells E!:

“In no way were we promoting domestic violence. We wanted to do a bruised-up Barbie shoot and that’s exactly what we did!”

A better response would’ve been: “We’re promoting dumb fuck art not domestic violence. Duh.”

Heather is dressed in 1950s housewife drag, but that doesn’t mean shit! Heather obviously got that Ike Turner fist kiss on her eye after she hit her face on the ironing board leg while trying to dry hump it. Or maybe the tip of that iron popped her in the eyeball after she flinched when she tried to guzzle hot water out of its hole (?). Or after her assistant told her that she just signed up to do a photo shoot with the dude who is responsible for this, she punched herself in the face. Yeah, we’re enabling photo shoots now.