Above is Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries’ completely natural and not at all staged honeymoon video that doesn’t look like a low-budget foreign soft core porn from the early 80s that your parents had on BETA. It also doesn’t look like a commercial for a non-FDA approved penile enhancement drug whose side effects include leaky ass, dribble dick, cotton mouth, deflated soul and the constant feeling of being suffocated by a twelve layer ass that smells like regrets, smegma and the urinal in an NFL locker room. Not at all.
And below is a video of hippos mating in the river.
Do I even need to ask for a show of hands from people who would rather watch the second one at 4am on Skinemax when you’ve got a head full of the drunks and a lap full of cold nachos? There’s really no need. Don’t worry, I’m calling Cinemax on behalf of all of us.