Kim K's Honeymoon Video vs. Hippos Mating In The Water
Above is Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries' completely natural and not at all staged honeymoon video that doesn't look like a low-budget foreign soft core porn from the early 80s that your parents had on BETA. It also doesn't look like a commercial for a non-FDA approved penile enhancement drug whose side effects include leaky ass, dribble dick, cotton mouth, deflated soul and the constant feeling of being suffocated by a twelve layer ass that smells like regrets, smegma and the urinal in an NFL locker room. Not at all.
And below is a video of hippos mating in the river.
Do I even need to ask for a show of hands from people who would rather watch the second one at 4am on Skinemax when you've got a head full of the drunks and a lap full of cold nachos? There's really no need. Don't worry, I'm calling Cinemax on behalf of all of us.
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Ok, we all know what this is. Fame Whore 101. But what are they pretending this is? Posed shoot of them looking at the ocean view, his hands on her fat ass with the porn music? What are they saying? Who the hell takes a camera crew on a 2 day "honeymoon"?
I actually know people who think this show is real. Every episode has a "storyline", then in ends like the old "Full House" episodes with the corny sad music and the family lesson that is learned. Why do people believe this?
Example: Pimp Kris is enjoying an afternoon smoke, so the little girls pretend to smoke to teach mom a lesson. Also, because its sooooo funny, lets dump water on pimp Kris to put out her cigerette, (play music) pimp Kris now understands how they feel and will never smoke again. THE END
They always make Rob be the total douche and he is such a total douche he goes along with it. Remember he "accidentally" drank coffee with natural Viagra hahahhaha so funny, he had to go to the DR because of his hard dick. I have never seen anything so funny, NOT. I hate Rob.
Kim got her butt xrayed? how many people in USA don't have health insurance and NEED x rays and can't get them? but these assholes have doctors in LA on speed dial for their stupid show. I hate the Kardashians.
this video brings out her inner bitch and his inner doofiness...I've had more physical contact with people I hate than she has with this doofy clueless dude. He may be smarter than we think though cause he does have some major money coming his way just for associating with this disgusting clan, but I am sure there will be a three hour divorce special with Kim Whoretrashian blaming the clueless dufus for their failed marriage. Their disgusting pimp of a mother is behind all this fuckery...fuck the whoretrashians...I wish they would all fall off the face of the earth. She looks like she can barely stand touching him, and he seems almost afraid to touch her...great grounds for a marriage...geez, the shit these fuckers do for fame!!
Team Hippos! I've been to Africa and let me tell you,don't worry about the lions: you don't want to fuck with Hippos ever! They will kill a bitch quick.
Team Hippos!
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I guess it's best to end a relationship the same way you start it: absolutely fucking tanked. MK 6/11
I am Team Hippo all the way on this one...I am amazed she does not film her taking a shit...or peeing...because we all know how much she loves pee and peeing. Why does she make every single second of her life public...she is beyond fake and disgusting and I for one pray every day that the Whoretrashian empire falls and falls hard...please dlisters boycott Sears...cause any business that promotes these ho's needs to go down too! Fuck all the Whoretrashians...and whatever deal they made with the Devil, Mr. Devil, you need to tear up that contract stat!!!
This girl keeps nothing private! When she get's preggo she'll probably show and tell the whole world!
Don't touch the fake hair, fake boobs, fake nose, fake person.
Team Hippos.
Funniest shit EVER!!
Check out the romantic butt groping...these people literally DRIP with class. Kris shouldn't worry if he flunked swim class because now he can use his blow-up-doll of a wife as a flotation device.
omigod @
Submitted by Candy on Thu, 09/01/2011 - 1:46pm.
I've been ignoring this whore for quite a few years now but I have to take time out to say that she had to go marry 'Special Needs Igor' and make my internet viewing experience that much worse.Thanks alot ho.
*****
lord gotta lotta shit to clean and move but had to take a breather and gain a little traction here at Dlisted and y'all are so coming thru!!!
"OH YOU FANCY HUH" - KA
Submitted by LaChaylo on Thu, 09/01/2011 - 2:02pm.
@clutching at straws
A heavily made up Jane Lynch for Bruce Kardashian... Oops Jenner.
Ha! That's it! Then they can get Will Farrell to come back to play the happy groom "Hump" Short Bus.
That does not look like honeymoon video at all. So detached, lacking any kind of passion.
Can't believe he didn't drown her when he had the chance.
Derpy loser.
Happy Birthday Barry!!
Her ass is just...I don't even know. There's no way that ish is real. Kris H isn't the brightest bulb in the chandelier but I hope he at least gets some money out of the deal.
That's probably why beta males never get a chance to mate in the wild--if hippo is more worried about who's watching than in banging his cow, he shouldn't be the one to perpetuate the species. Did the alpha hippo look like he was gonna say "Ok, can everybody leave for about a half hour--we want some special time all alone?"
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Submitted by mbar on Thu, 09/01/2011 - 5:07pm.
I've seen hippos mating at that Disney World safari shit...Animal Kingdom or whatever...And the hippo got pissed that all the humans were watching and mocking him and he got off the chick hippo and started attacking the glass. I don't blame him.
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Submitted by M.E. on Thu, 09/01/2011 - 11:27am.
You are an ignorant asshole.
Hippos are great. I wish I was that alpha hippo--better than working in an office all day. Look how they blow water out of their nostrils and paddle with water with their ears! Beats marrying a kardassian any day.
Ok, I watched the kardassian one. It felt about as natural as a high school performance of Merchant of Venice. But think of all the training they had to give him in how to grab her ass without the cellulite squishing out toward the camera--its probably easier to learn to do a back handspring. Frankly, the hippo one gave me more wood.
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Submitted by M.E. on Thu, 09/01/2011 - 11:27am.
You are an ignorant asshole.
And then he peed on her.
Also wonder why must the giant man boy humiliate himself thusly? She gives repelled, embarrassed,'be- grateful-you-are-with-Kim-fatassian' vibe when she is with him. Like he does not matter at all, now that she has a ring and a married sticker attached (2nd time around), she is no longer the spinster among her Klan!!! That being achieved, who needs the giant, right?
I am rather repelled by her big fat ass, its just too much. Imagine if she mistakenly sits on anything,it wont have a chance in hell..
I've seen hippos mating at that Disney World safari shit...Animal Kingdom or whatever...And the hippo got pissed that all the humans were watching and mocking him and he got off the chick hippo and started attacking the glass. I don't blame him.
Michael, are you sure you posted the correct video, I can't tell the difference.
Submitted by chaka1 on Thu, 09/01/2011 - 4:13pm.
Yes. Ray J pissed on her.
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So now I get to call her a pissy whore. Some days are just filled with rays of light!
蜘龍====================龍蜘
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(='.'=)
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I am truly surprised that ass can stay underwater and not just float to the top.
Kim is pig. Period...
Who puts out videos like this for publicity?
Yes. Ray J pissed on her.
Wait...I'm missing something. I've truly never seen the tape. Did she get pissed in the face for real? Somebody please tell me the truth. Please tell if that bitch is nastier than I think she already is.
蜘龍====================龍蜘
(\__/)
(='.'=)
(")_(")
Double Post...sorry.
I saw Kris (seriously?) Humphries going into The Sports club/LA here in NY two days ago. He looks just as stupid/simple in real life. I don't think he has a clue what he got himself into. Poor doofus.
TMZ is reporting that dumb shit sat right next to Ray J and didn't know who he was.
In fact, we're told Kris truly had "no idea" who Ray J was when Kim's sex tape partner sat next to the NBA star on a recent flight from L.A. to New Orleans.
But after a few hours on the plane, Ray J finally approached Kris and said, "Come on, You know who I am ... I just want to say congratulations." Kris reportedly replied, "Oh yeah, yeah I know who you are."
"Hey, how's my piss taste?' BAHAHAHAHAHHAHAA
Um. Yeah. The hippos, hands down.
These people disgust me.
I am convinced Kris Humphries mother drank heavily while he was in the womb.
Baby Huey is so not hot. Not real smart either is he. He makes Khloe look somewhat petite but other than that, he's as interesting as a mattress.
he MUST have auditioned for their "relationship". it is so awkward. why do we have to see him lifting and grabbing her ass like that? its not loving, its not even sexy. glad i already ate lunch.
That is ridiculous!
ahahahahaha at the kim k video...wtf was that?! not normal. the hippos do look normal though. ahahahaha what was that lifting her and the butt close up eeeeeeee*passes out*
Coma Caca!
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I'm sure she doesn't want water in her face; she prefers piss.
LMAO@moneymon
Hilariously awkward!!
"I think I'll, um, put my hand uh, right, um, here. Yes, yes here on her elbow, this feels normal. Oh and there's another elbow, let me just hang on to that one too..."
@clutching at straws
A heavily made up Jane Lynch for Bruce Kardashian... Oops Jenner.
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Put on your lip gloss, plump your chichis and let's get back to the main event.
~ Michael K
Submitted by IHateCharityChic: "MONEYMOON" is priceless!
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"Basically, Murlonio means "from Rob's ass" in Dumfuckanese." MK
"WE ARE THE TRIFECTA OF HATE ENTER THE TRIANGLE." Sucky 6/14/11
This woman is the biggest fucking famewhore that ever lived. Don't even get me started on the three dozen product placement deals for the wedding or the limited edition perfume marking the occasion or the special edition wedding handbag or the exclusive wedding photo paid for by People magazine that is somehow missing the groom.
Forget all that. These two assholes flew 13 hours to Italy, not for a honeymoon but for a dramatic re-enactment of a honeymoon financed by Us Weekly. Really more of a MONEYMOON.
I was wondering why they flew all that way for 2 days and now I know. These fucking people are officially obscene.
Could they be any less into each other? Is that even possible? Most strangers show each other more emotions than these two
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Right? They look like two people on an awkward, miserable blind date. The sad thing is there are people who actually believe their marriage is for real.
It doesn't look like she likes getting water on her face.
She doesn't seem very natural in the pics. Good thing she isn't an actress.
h ah ah ah
that gross move where he like, lifted her up and then floated her away (yes, like a turd) looked like something they practiced a million times. It is the most unnatural thing I've seen since KK's face
I've been ignoring this whore for quite a few years now but I have to take time out to say that she had to go marry 'Special Needs Igor' and make my internet viewing experience that much worse.Thanks alot ho.
蜘龍====================龍蜘
(\__/)
(='.'=)
(")_(")
Could they be any less into each other? Is that even possible? Most strangers show each other more emotions than these two.
I can't watch the vids but you horz have me ROARING with laughter. Mr hekki is rolling his eyes.
I'm actually surprised they didn't make Kris change his last name to Kardashian. K-Hump has a nice ring to it though. You know these two freaks are going to have a baby quickly. A cyclops, hairy, mutant baby GIRL. Named KKKKKKKKKrsyalllyyyeeennnnaaakkkk.
Nice second video of Sherri Shepard on her honeymoon.
~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Thu, 09/01/2011 - 12:53pm.
DON'T TOUCH ME LIKE THAT!!!
fucking LOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLL http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qyUnSuYYs18
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LMAO. Love BRAK. I like the first comment "This is what I sing to pedophiles."
at least this video is better than that attempt at a music video... http://bit.ly/re7M68
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http://youknowyoucare.com
Submitted by You_Complete_Me.
This is a SNL skit. There simply is no other explanation.
God, it really is. Easy pickings for SNL - the jokes write themselves with this bunch. But forget these two, I'd love to see who they'd get to play Bruce :D