Hot Slut Of The Day!

Kevin, the armless baby carrot brought to you by the esteemed literary newspaper The Daily Mail who should win every Pulitzer Prize in every category including Best Piece of Non-Fiction Literature About Armless Baby Carrots.

Oh, The Daily Mail. Only those purveyors of shameless foolery could come up with this work of high art. Meet Yvonne Darnell of Sussex who dug up a tiny carrot man in her garden and immediately called up the news. Yvonne, who I can’t believe is real people, said this about her new carrot son Kevin, “I couldn’t believe it. It’s so funny. I saw it and thought. It looks like an alien baby. I showed my friends and clients at work and they said I should call The Argus [news]. It will have a short but happy life.”

I swear, the next time you poot out a kidney stone that’s shaped like the profile of Margaret Thatcher (since you do that all the time) call up those fuckery pimps at the Daily Mail and they will make it a star. They’re way beyond Jesus on toast. But look at Kevin. How can he not be a star? Orange skin, blank expression, manure bits for brains, corroded crotch…. Dude could be the newest cast member on Jersey Shore! Only poor bitch doesn’t have fists to pump…… Stems pumping like champs it is!