It's Going To Take $30 Million For Vivid To Pull Down The Kim K Sex Tape
For a sex tape that's not even worth 29 dingles and a crotch berry, Steve Hirsch of Vivid Entertainment says that he's going to need at least 30 million dollars to take Kim Kardashian and Ray J's sex tape off the market forever. Vivid owns the rights to the tape that shows Kim moaning like an overstuffed warthog in need of some TUMS while Ray J does her with his boomerang dick from behind, and apparently a "mystery buyer" from Tennessee is willing to pay to stop the sale of it. Why do I have a feeling that this "mystery buyer" is really Khloe doing a Scooby Doo voice?
Steve Hirsch tells TMZ that he's already spoken to the lawyer from Tennessee and it let it be known that Pimp Mama Kris will probably have to sell one of the Jenner girls to an Arab sheik if she wants to buy the rights to Kim's boring ass tape.
"Based on its long term value, it looks like $30 million would be a starting point for a discussion on all of the rights.
I have no idea who is behind this offer ... but If it's Kim, I have a tremendous amount of respect for her. She has my number and can call me any time."
"BEHIND this offer." Nice blind item hint there, Steve. Steve Hirsch is a STUNT QUEEN of the highest order and so is Pimp Mama Kris. This is obviously just a publicity trick to get dumb hos to buy the Ambien of sex tapes they can download for free after Googling "Kim Kardashian sex tape Torrent." But don't even bother, because watching a piece of bacon slowly shrivel in a microwave is more exciting and erotic than that shit.
I mean, Pimp Mama Kris is smart enough to know that she can't make that boring mess disappear, but she can pull stunts like this to keep her main whore's name on top of CNN (this really was on CNN). Strike while the whore is hot.
If we could all glamour that pig and donkey fuck show from our lives, we would. Or we would go back in time and make it so that Ray J's piss stream shot too far, hitting the camera causing it to break. Then that sex tape would've never made it to our eyes and Kim's biggest claim to fame would be being a fourth tier character on Parasite Hilton's failed reality show. Where are Bill and Ted when you really need them?!
And here's Kim and Mr. Kim (being a total gentlemen by carrying around her travel size ass dildo for her) leaving their hotel in NYC last night. I take it back. That's not her travel size ass dildo. That's just her booster dildo since I'm sure it doesn't even touch her culito hole.
Mira, why would you pay 30 million dollars to stop the sale of a sex tape even the Pope has seen?
bad news: he looks like someone punched him good between the eyes and then sat on the top of his head for a couple of hours. good news: standing next to him, she looks super gorgeous.
So, does this mean someone could buy the tape and put it out for free? Make it available to even more people? Actually market in a manner that would make Kim's life miserable? I really wish I had $30 million lying around.
sorry to have to say it but more and more studies are showing up proving that men like to marry whores. oh well. i guess this explains why someone actually married this pig.
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"The world is a pretty nice place if you're happy"
John Garfield
No one lives forever
The Kardashians make the Hiltons look STD free. I will never understand how they became famous. Khloe looks like Magilla Gorilla, Kourtney has the worst taste in men with Scott formerly known as Thurston Howell III, and Kim with her big hips, bigs ass and piss stains. I don't get it.
I really don't understand why this "person" is famous. Big fat ass and gets urinated on in a tape? Is that it?
Sex can, and should be, a beautiful thing, and this P.O.S. got famous for that tape. That picture makes me want to hurl, & I'm no prude. She's an insult to human beings and someone should pay her to fucking disappear, because I'm sick of seeing her smug, famous for nothing face.
Her own brother called her a whore on TV. She is nasty. No morals at all.
Submitted by IrishFury on Wed, 08/31/2011 - 3:51pm.
Here's my comment on all the poop during sex thing - especially hiring hookers to do it, male or female...
Can all these whores just shit on demand? Me? I'm not going to dicuss my business but due to my high fiber diet...I do ok in a very healthy sort of way.
But I'm on a pretty regular time clock.
It's not like I'm casually hooking from 11pm-4am and can randomly get picked up a take a poop on some guy at say, 2.25am. I mean, it happens when it happens, right?
Am I alone here? (don't answer that)
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I'm thinking they down a whole bottle of Metamucil before "doing the deed." there's one way to get #2 on demand!
Never saw the video and I still won't see it. Same with Two girls and a cup. You guys have mentioned it so many times as something not to see ever and I am taking your word for it.
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What in the praying mantis crackhooker hell is this?! - MK 9/09
Any psychologists out there (without some stupid fundamentalist bent)? What is the psychological impetus to be shat on or to shit on someone? And for those who engage in it or study this stuff, please tell me how that is pleasurable.
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As a non-practicing clinical psychologist (I am only non-practicing right now due to having taken a position with a federal agency. I needed a break from it), I can probably shed a little light into the mindset of those who participate in scat/tinkle play if you'd like. I can even throw in an extra helping of psychobabble terms at no added cost to you. You'll also get this pair of poultry shears, 4 steak knife set and this 12" bagel and bread knife absolutely free. You just pay separate shipping and handling (so sorry I started my day off by watching a RonCo infomercial about this fantastic knife set that I've been considering ordering all day now). But believe it or not, I am a legit psych, despite the fact that I act like a wackadoodle dorkfish the majority of the time.
"A candle loses nothing of its light by lighting another candle."--catholicschoolgirl
Does he really have a boomerang dick? Really? Only if he can stun a kangaroo from 100 feet away with it.
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Choose a wife rather by your ear than your eye~Thomas Fuller
Submitted by Wanted on Wed, 08/31/2011 - 1:15pm.
QUICK!!!!! let's all put in $1.00 to get this shit off the market forever!
I like where your head is at.
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Not too tight. I want to leave room for some pucker!
Submitted by louise_brooks on Wed, 08/31/2011 - 10:33am.
Other then carrying around Kim's travel sized ass dildo, what does this giant derp face do?
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He keeps himself busy by: remaining completely oblivious to his new wife's innumerable past sexual indiscretions, pretending not to notice the gentle waft of stale Ray J pee, and recounting the tale of how he was dropped on his head at birth.
It's a full time job; but if he ever finds a spare moment he kindly helps Khloe pick the walnut-sized dingleberries out of her arse hair.
Van Morrison
That is one of the most sickening pictures I have ever scene. I cannot believe someone married her. I see no chemistry between Kim and her tall guy in any pictures. They don't even look like friends.
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Wed, 08/31/2011 - 4:01pm.
Submitted by VitaminF on Wed, 08/31/2011 - 3:57pm.
it is such a horrible video I don't even remember the climax... IF there even was one...
ETA - are those your boobs in your avie??? Sorry, I had to ask. Will check back in later for answer lol
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Oh my god, jack, you are a relentless whore.
Just. Stop. With. The. Tongues.
OMG IF...you are making my fricking sides hurt today! Thank you...
Submitted by IrishFury on Wed, 08/31/2011 - 3:51pm.
Here's my comment on all the poop during sex thing - especially hiring hookers to do it, male or female...
Can all these whores just shit on demand? Me? I'm not going to dicuss my business but due to my high fiber diet...I do ok in a very healthy sort of way.
But I'm on a pretty regular time clock.
It's not like I'm casually hooking from 11pm-4am and can randomly get picked up a take a poop on some guy at say, 2.25am. I mean, it happens when it happens, right?
Am I alone here? (don't answer that)
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ROLLING ON THE GODDAMN FLOOR LAUGHING, IRISHF!!!
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Sinead's rockin' slore-queen checklist:
I don't care if he is from the planet Zog.
Stubble is a non-negotiable must.
Must be very 'snuggly'. Not just wham-bam.
Must be wham-bam.
I've seen it, if I had a dick it would have stayed flaccid. Ray J does have a weird crooked cock, that was pretty off putting. Kim does have a pretty jiggly ass as I recall (not my thing, I like buns of steel)
"When I'm good I'm very good but when I'm bad I'm better." ~Mae West
Submitted by VitaminF on Wed, 08/31/2011 - 3:57pm.
it is such a horrible video I don't even remember the climax... IF there even was one...
ETA - are those your boobs in your avie??? Sorry, I had to ask. Will check back in later for answer lol
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"I have no snacks for you, only death." ~ annobanano, 08/03/2011
Thank you Jack, something tells me thats not all, you did not take the transcript to the climax ;-)
@caprica six
I probably would, but do not want to risk downloading a porn torrent from the internet.
@IrishFury
lolololol..That is a very profound and practical question.
Submitted by VitaminF on Wed, 08/31/2011 - 3:43pm.
To ALL Dlisters:
I have not seen Kim's tape, neither do I want to download it for the fear of virus, also I am not a horny dude. Could someone please post a transcript sort of detailed account of this infamous tape, so that I can laugh at her properly. See, I have no idea what she did in that tape, except the pee part.
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Just fking watch it, you know, in your down-time. Just for shit's (pun intended) sake. And email Kim K letting her know you did, so she can be even more ill over her porn past.
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Sinead's rockin' slore-queen checklist:
I don't care if he is from the planet Zog.
Stubble is a non-negotiable must.
Must be very 'snuggly'. Not just wham-bam.
Must be wham-bam.
Here's my comment on all the poop during sex thing - especially hiring hookers to do it, male or female...
Can all these whores just shit on demand? Me? I'm not going to dicuss my business but due to my high fiber diet...I do ok in a very healthy sort of way.
But I'm on a pretty regular time clock.
It's not like I'm casually hooking from 11pm-4am and can randomly get picked up a take a poop on some guy at say, 2.25am. I mean, it happens when it happens, right?
Am I alone here? (don't answer that)
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Dark-sided!
Submitted by VitaminF on Wed, 08/31/2011 - 3:43pm.
she sucks his dick (poorly), then lays on her stomach like in the picture above while he pounds her from behind. She never takes her bra off (that I can remember) and moans like the poor dog that thinks he's an elephant... bottom line - she's a dead fuck.
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"I have no snacks for you, only death." ~ annobanano, 08/03/2011
Submitted by caprica six on Wed, 08/31/2011 - 1:54pm.
And wtf is "pulling" this tape going to do now??! The world, alien life, hobos, my grandmother, roaches, tube worms, etc., have all seen it and have it committed to memory. Yeah, pulling it is really going to change shit. Totally ridiculous.
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I have not seen the tape but your comment is funny as shit.
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She appears to be under the delusion that she is so hot that she can go around sans fards. She needs the fards.-Deb 7/29/11
To ALL Dlisters:
I have not seen Kim's tape, neither do I want to download it for the fear of virus, also I am not a horny dude. Could someone please post a transcript sort of detailed account of this infamous tape, so that I can laugh at her properly. See, I have no idea what she did in that tape, except the pee part.
Submitted by Bjork You on Wed, 08/31/2011 - 12:34pm.
I watched a documentary years and years ago called 101 Rent Boys. Basically they got these rent boys to talk about their experiences.
First of all, it was one of the saddest things ever because most of them were drug-addicted (some of them very good-looking too, which to me made it worse since I'm shallow).
ANYWAY, the only other thing I recall from that documentary besides the above is one of the guys talking about an experience he had with an older (45-50) year old man. If I remember correctly, the older man would lie on the floor, ask the rent boy to climb a ladder (?) and shit on his face from up there.
WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE?
"LOL" gets overused a lot; I sometimes overuse it. But I'm at work and literally (not figuratively) LOLing at "travel-size ass dildo."
OK...let me see...Kim is also well known for her...uh...hmmmm....no really...there MUST be something...
Submitted by little_rascal on Wed, 08/31/2011 - 2:17pm.
Submitted by LettucePrey on Wed, 08/31/2011 - 12:49pm.
I don't get the pooh and pee shit...nope....no can process. I'mma clean luva!
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I wonder if peeing on a woman has something to do with power and ultimate domination/subjugation. Imagine a man first banging a woman in every possible orifice and then urinating on her. It's kinda like marking a territory and also having a total power over that woman. Some men need that feeling I guess. Also there's an element of humiliating a woman and woman's total submission which some men crave.
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It might be about power, but same-sex couples engage in this, too. And there are women who take on the bewilderingly powerful job of shitting on the men. The roles of dominatrix and submissive are not so clear cut.
I want to know who has the job of cleaning the sheets and/or removing the plastic. I also gather that a lot of incense and Pine Sol are used. One hopes, anyway.
Has anyone heard Kris Humphries (is that his name?) speak? Just curious because he doesn't look like the brightest bulb in most of the photos I've seen.
Submitted by LettucePrey on Wed, 08/31/2011 - 12:49pm.
I don't get the pooh and pee shit...nope....no can process. I'mma clean luva!
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I wonder if peeing on a woman has something to do with power and ultimate domination/subjugation. Imagine a man first banging a woman in every possible orifice and then urinating on her. It's kinda like marking a territory and also having a total power over that woman. Some men need that feeling I guess. Also there's an element of humiliating/degrading a woman and woman's total submission which some men crave.
I think Kim Klardass is behind all of this. What an attention puta.
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"Going to Burger King to eat healthy is like going to a prostitute for a hug." Dlister Supah 8.20.11
Submitted by caprica six on Wed, 08/31/2011 - 1:54pm.
And wtf is "pulling" this tape going to do now??! The world, alien life, hobos, my grandmother, roaches, tube worms, etc., have all seen it and have it committed to memory. Yeah, pulling it is really going to change shit. Totally ridiculous.
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I haven't seen it. To be honest, I've never seen any porn in my entire life.
Submitted by jerseygirl17 on Wed, 08/31/2011 - 1:24pm.
Submitted by parissucksliterally on Wed, 08/31/2011 - 1:20pm.
wanted, HELLO NO. I love that this humiliating tape is out there. Let her be embarrassed for the rest of her life.
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We should call E! and see how much money they want to pull all this fuckery off the air. I'd donate $1 to that. Telethon! Call Jerry Lewis!
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Count me in. Hell, I'll donate $100 just to speed the prcess up. They should create a charity "Rid the nations of the KKK Klan" and have all those people on the streets that are usually trying you to sign up to direct debits to donate monthly to whatever charities they are representing, only to ask everyone to donate to the best cause ever- getting rid if the Kardashians.
And wtf is "pulling" this tape going to do now??! The world, alien life, hobos, my grandmother, roaches, tube worms, etc., have all seen it and have it committed to memory. Yeah, pulling it is really going to change shit. Totally ridiculous.
_____
Sinead's rockin' slore-queen checklist:
I don't care if he is from the planet Zog.
Stubble is a non-negotiable must.
Must be very 'snuggly'. Not just wham-bam.
Must be wham-bam.
Definitely some PR shit. MK nailed it with When Pimp Becomes Ho That clip was BRILLIANT!!
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Not too tight. I want to leave room for some pucker!
Hekki, considering she likes to pretend she was never married before, and was never peed on, I think she is embarrassed. :)
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No message could have been any clearer
If you want to make the world a better place, take a look at yourself, and make that change
-Michael Jackson
PSL: Right? I love it, too.
But I don't know how humiliated she really is. She doesn't seem to have a sense of shame.
Jersygirl, I'd give my last dollar to get their shows off the air! I hate the K family!
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No message could have been any clearer
If you want to make the world a better place, take a look at yourself, and make that change
-Michael Jackson
Submitted by parissucksliterally on Wed, 08/31/2011 - 1:20pm.
wanted, HELLO NO. I love that this humiliating tape is out there. Let her be embarrassed for the rest of her life.
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We should call E! and see how much money they want to pull all this fuckery off the air. I'd donate $1 to that. Telethon! Call Jerry Lewis!
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I refreshed the page and my PENIS WAS GONE! -- SugarFreeRedBull, MicroPenis Advocate
wanted, HELLO NO. I love that this humiliating tape is out there. Let her be embarrassed for the rest of her life.
***********************************************
No message could have been any clearer
If you want to make the world a better place, take a look at yourself, and make that change
-Michael Jackson
Don't give Pimp Mama Kris ideas--next up on E! "Kendall and Kendra take Saudi Arabia!"
I haven't actually seen the tape. Just little SFW bits here and there on gossip sites. That's more than enough for me. So if she wants to waste her money, that's fine, but she'll probably just make another one as soon as she enters the Paris Decline phase of her "career".
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I refreshed the page and my PENIS WAS GONE! -- SugarFreeRedBull, MicroPenis Advocate
Sweetas,
I'm sorry, the info just came tumbling out!
It's not a big deal, Jack's fine.
At least it wasn't you who said he likes to dress like a baby, be breastfed and wants his lovers to smell his poppy diapers while singing Katrina and the Waves songs. I can't believe eastendgirl actually said that stuff about him. Kind of rude, if you ask me.
I'd never want amputee sex either but I'm not one to judge. Jack is entitled to his choices.
Love you Jack. Always walk in His Light.
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Dark-sided!
QUICK!!!!! let's all put in $1.00 to get this shit off the market forever!
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"Let them measure my anus and see if it is dilated."
-Father Andrés García Torres, inventor of the Catholic Anus Ruler
Submitted by LettucePrey on Wed, 08/31/2011 - 12:49pm.
I don't get the pooh and pee shit...nope....no can process. I'mma clean luva!
BjorkYou: YOU CILLED ME!!! Yes, everyone on here is a comedian, but that paragraph sent me.
Now that we're recovered from the Saran Wrap fiasco, let's move on to something not quite as disgusting:
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=cleveland+steamer+with+re...
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I'm going to tell your momma what you're posting here.
The only hot lunch I knew was what I got at school and the song from the movie "Fame."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o2iQ8THWz5k
IF YOU SWORE!! Bean remained a bean...omg how do you come up with this shit? *giggling my ass off*
OK, so a "hot lunch" is actually so popular that they had to come up with a name for it?? Who are these people?? NO ONE has ever told me they liked something like this! Not to mention that it has to be MAJORLY unhealthy!
Submitted by Bjork You on Wed, 08/31/2011 - 12:34pm.
I believe it would be like any other unusual sexual fetish, where the wires somehow get crossed in early adolescence, right? For example, I had a friend once who had a crazy thing about pantyhose. Nothing would make him get off faster than women in pantyhose (not stockings). His fetish formed about the time he was 11 or 12. He would go to church with his grandma and look up women's skirts. He said the women who wore no panties with nude pantyhose sent his imagination running...hence a fetish was born.
Somehow the skat lovers had something shit and sex related cross during early adolescence. That's my only explanation.