Matthew Fox Might Have Punched A Party Bus Driver In The Tits

August 29, 2011 / Posted by:

File this under: Now this mess should’ve been the real ending to Lost.

Jack Sawyer (real name: Matthew Fox) is currently shooting a movie in Cleveland, Ohio, and on Saturday night he was all ready to party like he’s going back to the island but not everybody was down with his plan. TMZ says that Matthew was trying to get on a private party bus even though his ass wasn’t on the list. The bus driver tried to party block Matthew and refused to let him on. Heather Bormann said that Matthew must’ve been drinking too many of those Dharma-tinis, because he was every kind of drunk and had no idea what she was saying.

When Heather tried to get him off the bus, Matthew allegedly used his Party of Five fingers to punch her in the chichis and then followed it up with a fist to the gunt. Heather says that he kept crotch punching at her so she had to stop his fists from flying by punching him back in the jaw. Matthew fell back as he spat up blood. Heather said she did it in self-defense and to stop drunk Matthew from giving her black and blue nipples.

Matthew was handcuffed by the police but never arrested. They released him to a friend who took him back to the hotel.

Unless you’re on the Chris Brown Party Bus, what kind of asshole tries to fist a vag and turns a pair of titties into punching bags? Well, I guess we’re living in a world where Jack’s new saying is “Live together, drunk punch pussies and titties alone.”

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