It’s Racist Out There For Basement Baby And Her Giant Inflatable Banana Friend

August 29, 2011 / Posted by:

A revolution is brewing deep under the basement between a young black mother with a giant inflatable banana friend and the RACIST police officers in Miami Beach who just won’t let a young black mother party with her giant inflatable banana friend! It all started when Beyonce, who is too busy these days barking at the House of Derriere sweat shop workers to bedazzle those pregnancy pantaloons faster, accidentally left the basement door open and out crawled Solange and her banana friend with a look in their eyes (or in her banana friend’s case, his “blow hole”) that said they were ready to paint the town with trouble. Before you wonder why Basement Baby’s best friend is a giant inflatable banana, I should let you know it was either the banana, one of Kelly Rowland’s crusty wig caps or a sculpture of her son Juelz she made out of moth balls. Yeah, your choices for a best friend are limited down in the basement.

TMZ says that on Sunday, Basement Baby and her banana friend made their way to Club Cameo in Miami Beach and tried to get in. They would not let Basement Baby’s banana friend in and told her she had to leave that bitch on the curb. Now, Basement Baby reads a lot of old Life Magazines down in the basement so she knows that if she left a giant banana alone on the streets of Miami Beach, some drunk slut whore would fuck it right there or Tina Knowles would snatch it up and turn it into another skirt for her precious Beyonce. Basement Baby couldn’t let that happen so she flipped the uppity bitch switch.

When the cops showed up, Basement Baby told them that the club refused to let her in because she’s black and not because she’s carrying a gigantic banana friend with her. The cops say they took Basement Baby across the street to calm her down. Basement Baby says that when the cops took her across the street, they pulled out a knife and tried to murder her gigantic banana friend!

Basement Baby hopped on her Twitter and let it be known in so many words that this would never happen to a young white woman with a banana friend:

I have literally had my last leg with discriminating police! Miami police department will be notified.

A police officer just pulled a weapon on me…. I have done NOTHING illegal, against the law, or anything of the sort.

I am simply tired of police using arrogance, ego and authority as an offense.

I’m only tweeting this to raise awareness. I could have left quietly, but I am sick & tired of this scenario being played over & over again.

I’m ok. I’m safe & sound at my apartment. I’m just beyond frustrated with the system.

It is time to do something about it. I am a mother raising a young black child in America. Im going to die trying!

Been on the phone for the last 20 minutes reporting this incident. Yes, I have the officers name. Yes, I have the location.

Scare tactics don’t WORK.

I’m with Basement Baby! I’d tell her to raise a fist with me, but I don’t want her to hit one of the ceiling tiles and wake the asbestos. In this day and age, we should be able to get drunk with our banana friends in a Miami club and walk the streets with them without some RACIST cop threatening to pop ’em to death. We’re going to fight! It’s what our foremother, Chiquita Banana, would want. If you’re with us, take to the streets when you hear our march song.

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