It's Racist Out There For Basement Baby And Her Giant Inflatable Banana Friend
A revolution is brewing deep under the basement between a young black mother with a giant inflatable banana friend and the RACIST police officers in Miami Beach who just won't let a young black mother party with her giant inflatable banana friend! It all started when Beyonce, who is too busy these days barking at the House of Derriere sweat shop workers to bedazzle those pregnancy pantaloons faster, accidentally left the basement door open and out crawled Solange and her banana friend with a look in their eyes (or in her banana friend's case, his "blow hole") that said they were ready to paint the town with trouble. Before you wonder why Basement Baby's best friend is a giant inflatable banana, I should let you know it was either the banana, one of Kelly Rowland's crusty wig caps or a sculpture of her son Juelz she made out of moth balls. Yeah, your choices for a best friend are limited down in the basement.
TMZ says that on Sunday, Basement Baby and her banana friend made their way to Club Cameo in Miami Beach and tried to get in. They would not let Basement Baby's banana friend in and told her she had to leave that bitch on the curb. Now, Basement Baby reads a lot of old Life Magazines down in the basement so she knows that if she left a giant banana alone on the streets of Miami Beach, some drunk slut whore would fuck it right there or Tina Knowles would snatch it up and turn it into another skirt for her precious Beyonce. Basement Baby couldn't let that happen so she flipped the uppity bitch switch.
When the cops showed up, Basement Baby told them that the club refused to let her in because she's black and not because she's carrying a gigantic banana friend with her. The cops say they took Basement Baby across the street to calm her down. Basement Baby says that when the cops took her across the street, they pulled out a knife and tried to murder her gigantic banana friend!
Basement Baby hopped on her Twitter and let it be known in so many words that this would never happen to a young white woman with a banana friend:
I have literally had my last leg with discriminating police! Miami police department will be notified.
A police officer just pulled a weapon on me.... I have done NOTHING illegal, against the law, or anything of the sort.
I am simply tired of police using arrogance, ego and authority as an offense.
I'm only tweeting this to raise awareness. I could have left quietly, but I am sick & tired of this scenario being played over & over again.
I'm ok. I'm safe & sound at my apartment. I'm just beyond frustrated with the system.
It is time to do something about it. I am a mother raising a young black child in America. Im going to die trying!
Been on the phone for the last 20 minutes reporting this incident. Yes, I have the officers name. Yes, I have the location.
Scare tactics don't WORK.
I'm with Basement Baby! I'd tell her to raise a fist with me, but I don't want her to hit one of the ceiling tiles and wake the asbestos. In this day and age, we should be able to get drunk with our banana friends in a Miami club and walk the streets with them without some RACIST cop threatening to pop 'em to death. We're going to fight! It's what our foremother, Chiquita Banana, would want. If you're with us, take to the streets when you hear our march song.
• 
DUMB. BITCH. SOOOOO sick of people pulling the race card when they don't get what they want, when they want it. And this is coming from a black person.
----------------------------------
Menage a NO! NO! NO!-MK
What a DESPERADO. She and Leann Rimes should hook up and be bff!
Submitted by MickeyHolland on Mon, 08/29/2011 - 10:49pm.
She should have passed on the banana to Courtney Sodden and see if she would have gotten in. Apparently Courtney works wonders with bananas.
*anxiously awaits the wrath of Bjork (or God, whichever one comes first)*
====================
Watch it, Cow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Submitted by Helena on Tue, 08/30/2011 - 8:46am.
I just read that her giant inflatable banana friend is FIVE FEET LONG.
Classic. "Look at me! I have a giant banana. I can't come in? It's because of my race, isn't it?"
I just read that her giant inflatable banana friend is FIVE FEET LONG.
_________________________________
Devil's advocate.
Haha, Rusty--- maybe she can milk a Vitamin D deficiency while she's at it, seeing as how she spends all that time in the basement. :)
Submitted by islandgirl on Tue, 08/30/2011 - 7:03am.
Maybe the poor girl has a potassium deficiency. Did they ever think of that?? Noooo. MINERALISTS!!!
Ouuu, I like it. Then she could play the race/handicapped card.
Submitted by I need more cowbell on Tue, 08/30/2011 - 4:10am.
Well, she finally figured out how to get some publicity. Even better, Beyonce cant snatch it away since she is white now
*******************
LOL
Maybe the poor girl has a potassium deficiency. Did they ever think of that?? Noooo. MINERALISTS!!!
@ becky, He is getting good, too good! Next is a wedding pic of him and Mah Boo or PHG and we'll believe it.
:-)
Submitted by LaChaylo on Tue, 08/30/2011 - 6:31am.
I'm good, thanks!
I was fooled initially, too; I think MK's skills improve everytime - and it makes for a funny pic. :)
Amy
Submitted by becky n sydney on Tue, 08/30/2011 - 6:29am.
HAHAHAHA! It's early here, lol!
Lovely - how have you been?
Submitted by LaChaylo on Tue, 08/30/2011 - 6:26am.
Hey LaChaylo! The 'nana is MK's photoshopping effort - Rusty posted the *real* pic of Solange further down the thread. :)
How ya been?
Amy
I can't help think she meant discriminating taste on the part of police. That banana is HIDeous.
Submitted by SANS FARDS on Mon, 08/29/2011 - 10:20pm.
Anyone who names their kid "Juelz" should not be let in anywhere, ever.
***************************************************
Julez is his middle name.
His name is Daniel Smith Jr.
If it makes Solange feel better, I'm white, and a club in AC wouldn't even let me in with my bachelorette sash/boa/tiara. I'm *sure* they have the same policy on bananas. They didn't call the police, though, because we left quietly and went somewhere else.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I refreshed the page and my PENIS WAS GONE! -- SugarFreeRedBull, MicroPenis Advocate
pfft i'm a loopygorilla and loves me bananas but this bitch is an asshole.
Solange seriously girl???
You are not going to upstage your sister and her knocked up stunt.
Only way Solange can upstage Beyonce, here is a tip... GET KNOCKED UP BY JAY-Z
*cue dramatic music* BUM BUM BUM!!!!
seriously, bitch you will get alot of publicity if you 1. reveal you are preggers 2. its Jay-Z's bubbaaayyyy
My second idea, beat up Selena Gomez and date pseudo intellectual lesbian with glasses wannabe justin bieber, look at the publicity Gomez is getting!! Solange + Bieber and plus she gets knocked up and the story is that, biebs's johnson snake played with Solange's hoohoo and solange was off her pill.
FINAL idea, promise its my last one, steal beyonce's phone when she isnt looking, take the phone numbers of Kelly Rowland and The Other One, and form a new Destiny's Child.
I'm going bananas today!!!
Well, she finally figured out how to get some publicity. Even better, Beyonce cant snatch it away since she is white now. Have to admit though, causing a scene, raising hell over an inflatable toy then lying & accusing officers of pulling a weapon on you on twitter just might backfire though. At least her name was in the rags.
I am more woman that you'll ever have and more man than you will ever be.
Not saying there aren't a bunch of racist hos out there... truth. But a NORMAL PERSON would ditch the banana and enter the club and STFU.
Celebrities are so full of their own self-importance it's ridiculous.
Grow a brain you silly cow.
_________________________________________________
Wyle E
"understand that a slow red panda who nibbles pickles and does somersaults in the middle of a dancefloor is entertaining to a 7-year-old... " MK.
Submitted by Arlene Machiavelli on Mon, 08/29/2011 - 5:32pm.
Racism is still a reality. Just take a look at one of the commenters in last night's Beyonce pregnancy post
----------------
The Beyonce thread was the first one ever that made me seriously consider leaving DListed. I love it too much, but some comments made me think some people should be cut off from using the internet. The sad thing is that nowadays we can read people's darkest thoughts. I am not sure this is making the world a happier place.
LOLritzy: YAY! :)
hearts; Threadkilla!
Lean Like a Chola, Celebrity Stylez: http://youtu.be/0ZwdYeGSVS0
Submitted by angel_i on Tue, 08/30/2011 - 12:41am.
YES! WE HAVE NO BANANAS!
WE HAVE NO BANANAS TODAY!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I don't know if it's the bottle of listerine I drank in lieu of my regular grey goose or what, but my sides hurt from laughing for a good two minutes at this.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Don't hit back, just keep thrusting. Make that transfer, bitch!- MK 7/26/11
YES! WE HAVE NO BANANAS!
WE HAVE NO BANANAS TODAY!
♥ Threadkilla!
Lean Like a Chola, Celebrity Stylez: http://youtu.be/0ZwdYeGSVS0
So, you should never put ba-na-nas, in the refrig-er-ator! No, no, no, no!
This story breaks my heart. When, people? When will Martin Luther King Jr's dream be realized, and all entitled rich bitches everywhere will be allowed to carry inflatable fruit regatdless of skin color?! WHY IS THE WORLD SO UNJUST?
Srsly, too hung up on race. Not saying there isn't racism out there, but I bet they'd look askance at ANY bitch who brought a giant inflatable fruit and got all nasty if they told her she couldn't bring it in. I would assume it had drugs, or a weapon, or something.
And most if not all of the people who say "Well, they'd let a white person do it" or sneer "They wouldn't care if it was a black kid" are racist shits themselves.
*********
I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
She should have passed on the banana to Courtney Sodden and see if she would have gotten in. Apparently Courtney works wonders with bananas.
*anxiously awaits the wrath of Bjork (or God, whichever one comes first)*
----------------------------------------------------------
"It is unwise to be too sure of one's own wisdom. It is healthy to be reminded that the strongest might weaken and the wisest might err."
Mahatma Gandhi
Submitted by SANS FARDS on Mon, 08/29/2011 - 10:20pm.
Anyone who names their kid "Juelz" should not be let in anywhere, ever.
Oh, no. Is that really her kid's name? Boy or girl?
I was trying to remember her Tweet quote, but it was so inane, I could not keep it in my head. So here it is, cut & pasted:
I have literally had my last leg with discriminating police! Miami police department will be notified.
WHAAAAA??!!?!??!
"Literally had her last leg"? What does that mean, in Basement-speak????
Anyone who names their kid "Juelz" should not be let in anywhere, ever.
i hope every black person she knows smacks her across the face and tells her to shut the fuck up. it's shit like this that makes it hard for minorities to get respect.
and my fellow sluts, havent we learned by now that people make the racist comments just to entice us to respond? dont feed the trolls, my lovelies. the angela/fraggle/who the fuck ever of the comments will die a quick death if they are starved long enough.
-----------------------------------------
A baby's first words should not be: "DEATH DON'T TAKE ME NOW!!!" - MK
I love MK's budding P-shop efforts, and they're always funny, but this one looks rushed. It's like the cover of Self or O. Her arm zigzags. Here's the purse that Solange was actually carrying that night:
http://hairspiration.blogspot.com/2011/03/solange-victorias-secret.html
Submitted by WhiskeyRiverGirl on Mon, 08/29/2011 - 5:40pm.
Submitted by Arlene Machiavelli on Mon, 08/29/2011 - 5:32pm.
Racism is still a reality. Just take a look at one of the commenters in last night's Beyonce pregnancy post...
No one has said that racism doesn't exist you twat. However this is only racism if every white woman in the club was carrying a giant banana and this idiot wasn't allowed in.
==============
Whiskey, I think she's saying the same thing that you are. While Solange is being a whiny brat with a banana (what the fuck?!?!?) claiming racism in a case that's really about her insane sense of entitlement, it still doesn't obscure real racism that is occurring, like the posts of Angela/Blah,blah... in last night's Beyonce thread.
Hugs, not drugs, okay? Let's save the name calling for the celebs and dlisted trolls.
This is such bullshit cops just think that everybody is fucked in the head. We're all criminals in their eyes.
Solange is such a boring brat, isn't she?
And what the hell is she wearing? With that outfit, she shouldn't even be let in Walgreen's.
Submitted by ba-buttons on Mon, 08/29/2011 - 4:58pm.
Once upon a time, there was this idiot in Toronto named Dudley Laws.
Dudley fancied himself rather a crusader for the black community and vowed to fight systemic racism, esp. in the Toronto police force.
He's best remember for trying to get the Toronto media to stop advising the public of the race of violent criminals as it was making the black community look bad as the majority of the offenders were, in fact, black.
Of note is that Dudley still wanted the media to say if it was a white/Asian/Native American person who committed a crime - just not when black people did it.
Solange, like Dudley, cries racism when it suits her. People like her are far more dangerous to the black community than any Klansmen.
=============
For some strange reason though, I think that the black community would rather deal with Dudley than the KKK. Maybe it's the whole cross-burning thing or the lynching, I'm not sure...
Submitted by SpiceDong on Mon, 08/29/2011 - 4:43pm.
...And have Basement Baby and Orlando Jones ever been spotted in the same room at the same time?
===========
Ha, ha, ha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That's right, don't you let your pregnant sis steal your thunder!
Submitted by yepyepyep on Mon, 08/29/2011 - 6:26pm.
It is really upsetting to see people throw the race card over stupid bullshit, yes sweety you are full of bullshit, and all those tweets. Fuck, I seen real racism, like a cop tailgate your car because of your skin color, stop you for no reason. Then one day a real racist will come along and this over privileged child won't even know what to do. But she is teaching her child all these hateful things and the cycle won't stop. Hopefully she really never suffers a disadvantage due to her skin color. I hope people soon stop making assumptions based on how brown you are or not, or religion etc.....
----
That's the funny thing. Tricks who cry "RACIST!" over everything are the ones perpetuating racism. I subscribe to a local news station in Baltimore on Facebook just to keep up with everything and I can't even do that anymore. There will be an article about a white child dying and ignorant asses go on there saying shit like "well if it was a black kid, they wouldn't be reporting on it!" Seriously? Have some fucking compassion. I just don't want to live on this planet anymore.
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Mon, 08/29/2011 - 5:39pm.
I feel white guilt over the fact that I can freely bring an oversized inflatable piece of fruit into a club...This is 2011, people...When are ALL of God's children going to be able to bring inflatable fruit into the establishment of their choice???? WHEN???????
Thank you Tigerlilly, I needed that laugh right now.
Beyonce shame on you for not getting your baby sis the mental help she needs. She really thinks she is relevant.
********************************************
I've written a letter to MK...saying...I...love...youuuuuu.
Submitted by Dirk Diggler on Mon, 08/29/2011 - 9:02pm.
I must admit being utterly confused by this story.
Me too. At first I thought MK was using banana as a reference for something else, so I thought there was something more serious to the story. But no, it's an actual fucking inflatable banana she was carrying around.
All this crying wolf just makes the serious cases of racism trivialised. Someone should call this cunt out on Twatter or whatever, and tell her this. I wonder what her son thinks.
I must admit being utterly confused by this story.
A Black Woman walked into a bar with a giant Banana on her head.
The Bartender looked up and said, "that's pretty neat where did you get it?"
"They grow in Africa" said the banana.
Holy monchichi!! No wonder they keep her in the basement.
Police released results from their investigation
(NSFW) http://www.ilpenemidailpane.it/img/2005/banana.jpg
I know its pretty lame... Best pix I could find.
Is she not dating anyone right now? Thats the only explanation I can think of for her to need a giant inflatable banana.
Submitted by mefunigirl on Mon, 08/29/2011 - 5:53pm.
cause she showed up with Francis Bean?
haaaaaaaaaaaa. It was more that she brought along the singer for Blind Melon.
............
HR: Several clients have complained about receiving emails from a mrshits@pisscompany.com.
Employee: Yeah, that’ll be me, working from home after a few drinks.
Sorry, but she doesn't have a breath to stand on.
............
HR: Several clients have complained about receiving emails from a mrshits@pisscompany.com.
Employee: Yeah, that’ll be me, working from home after a few drinks.
she's a dipshit
She's an idiot! Why the hell is she walking around with an inflatable banana!?!?!
GOD...I know that you can't take on the weight of other people's actions, but seriously, sometimes they make me ashamed to be African-American
tu ne cede malis sed contra audentior ito
@ whiskey river girl
________________
wtf with the attack? If you learn to read I mention at the end of my comment that this is fuckery i.e., the banana race card Solange pulled.
anyone black or white knows this is fuckery.
I won't take your attempt at insulting me personally.