Open Post: Hosted By Courtney Stodden's 17th Birthday
As the ghost of Michael Jackson moonwalks into Gary, Indiana's Office of Vital Records to change the born date on his birth certificate to any day but today, the garden lizard with first degree porn face that is Courtney Stodden is turning 17 (in porn iguana years) today. It's official: 17 is the new 47!
Courtney cooed out to Radar that she was going to spend her birthday with her 51-year-old plastic gay robot husband at Disneyland, but since they're both wrapped in extra thin mannequin wax and California is being fucked with a heat wave, they're going to stay inside and write more Tweets like this:
While I lie beneath this sizzling-sun, the popsicle that I am sweetly sucking on begins to melt & drips irresistibly all over my moist body!Celebrating the last night of being sweet-n-sexy 16 by wearing NOTHING but my tasty bday-suit! Mmm; Yummy! ;-)
When you're a 17-year-old girl who writes shit that is straight out of Gay Al's script for an episode of The Red Shoe Diaries, you should hug your pimp mother for doing something right. Happy Birthday, Courtney. May we all look like we're having a permanent hot flash when we turn 17 for the 30th time!
• 
She is such a pornstar in training! I am sorry, but who in the hell writes tweets like that? lol. She tries way too hard to be sexy!
Submitted by MickeyHolland on Mon, 08/29/2011 - 1:11pm.
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Mon, 08/29/2011 - 1:09pm.
There is nothing sexier than an educated man!
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Oh I know a thing or two...
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"I have no snacks for you, only death." ~ annobanano, 08/03/2011
Submitted by Dog on Mon, 08/29/2011 - 1:05pm.
Welcome. I'm here rarely and when I am, it's just to remind Sucky that he's a fatty and ghey.
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LIES
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
Aaaand there goes my lunch all over my desk. They are both so gross. I don't know which makes me feel more nauseated; Courtney, who makes Ali Lohan look young; her husband, whose plastic face is only rivaled in creepiness by the fact that he's a fucking pedophile; or Courtney's mom, who makes White Oprah and Pimp Mama Kris look like mothers of the year.
How is it that Warren Jeffs is serving a life sentence for this same child-fucking shit, yet it's okay for Tooms and his haggard-ass child bride to flaunt their fuckery all over the place?! Ugh.
I want to see this gal's birth certificate, one straight from a vital records department, not the one she carries around that's probably been Photoshopped.
Submitted by Whamo on Mon, 08/29/2011 - 1:10pm.
Submitted by Art Vandelay on Mon, 08/29/2011 - 12:54pm.
Hey, D-hoes! Longtime lurker, finally made an account. I won't even pretend to be as witty as the rest of you - just wanted to say hello
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Fuck off asshole! you think you can just come in here and.shit.. fucking cunt... assfucker.... ah...right, nice to have you with us:)
Remember to give to your local Tourettes fund!
FUCKER!
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I think I'm going to like it here.
Thanks folks for the well wishes. My family and I got out with our lives as a flash flood hit upstate NY. We evacuated and sought refugee at a hotel in Goshen after not being able to use the 87 Interstate.
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Brevity may be the soul of wit, but to twit without wit is soulless -- Johanne Savoie
Submitted by Dog on Mon, 08/29/2011 - 1:05pm.
Submitted by Art Vandelay on Mon, 08/29/2011 - 12:54pm.
Hey, D-hoes! Longtime lurker, finally made an account. I won't even pretend to be as witty as the rest of you - just wanted to say hello.
Hope my fellow East Coasters are safe!
^^^^^
Welcome. I'm here rarely and when I am, it's just to remind Sucky that he's a fatty and ghey.
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*makes mental note*
Hi, Sweetas!
Louise Brooks, do you also celebrate Festivus?
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Mon, 08/29/2011 - 1:09pm.
There is nothing sexier than an educated man!
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"It is unwise to be too sure of one's own wisdom. It is healthy to be reminded that the strongest might weaken and the wisest might err."
Mahatma Gandhi
Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Mon, 08/29/2011 - 1:10pm.
5 bucks says she's a ladyboy.
^^^^
You know you'd pay to see that.
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www.charitywater.org
www.animalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Submitted by Art Vandelay on Mon, 08/29/2011 - 12:54pm.
Hey, D-hoes! Longtime lurker, finally made an account. I won't even pretend to be as witty as the rest of you - just wanted to say hello
==============================================
Fuck off asshole! you think you can just come in here and.shit.. fucking cunt... assfucker.... ah...right, nice to have you with us:)
Remember to give to your local Tourettes fund!
FUCKER!
5 bucks says she's a ladyboy.
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"Bitch, your pancakes look fine to me."
*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-
This bitch. I would like to hit her with my car. Or maybe something bigger like a dump truck.
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"Bitch, your pancakes look fine to me."
*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-
Submitted by MickeyHolland on Mon, 08/29/2011 - 1:07pm.
@Art
Willkommen, bienvenue, welcome!
Fremde, étranger, stranger.
Gluklich zu sehen, je suis enchanté,
Happy to see you, bleibe, reste, stay.
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don't start that spanish shit.
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"I have no snacks for you, only death." ~ annobanano, 08/03/2011
this sorry ass excuse for sexy...with a ton of pedophilia thrown in for good measure is 17 then I am a fetus entering my third trimester for the 300th time...she is tiring already...I dread her attempts at sexy until she hits her 60's she will still be striking those droopy heroin poses...yech..her creepy gay husband needs to give it a rest too...they are just too gross.
Submitted by ZenShaman on Mon, 08/29/2011 - 1:01pm.
Welcome to you, as well... Yo, Art, you have someone that will sit at your lunch table with you!!! :P
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"I have no snacks for you, only death." ~ annobanano, 08/03/2011
This trick is not 17. She was not a virgin.
And she's a crazy ass bitch.
@Art
Willkommen, bienvenue, welcome!
Fremde, étranger, stranger.
Gluklich zu sehen, je suis enchanté,
Happy to see you, bleibe, reste, stay.
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"It is unwise to be too sure of one's own wisdom. It is healthy to be reminded that the strongest might weaken and the wisest might err."
Mahatma Gandhi
Submitted by Art Vandelay on Mon, 08/29/2011 - 12:54pm.
Hey, D-hoes! Longtime lurker, finally made an account. I won't even pretend to be as witty as the rest of you - just wanted to say hello.
Welcome! We are collecting for The Human Fund. It's money for people.
Submitted by Art Vandelay on Mon, 08/29/2011 - 1:04pm.
good to know... to bad you're not an importer/exporter.
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"I have no snacks for you, only death." ~ annobanano, 08/03/2011
Hey Art!
There has got to be someone from her past that can show a yearbook to Radar Online how old this skank really is.
I can't wait!
Submitted by Art Vandelay on Mon, 08/29/2011 - 12:54pm.
Hey, D-hoes! Longtime lurker, finally made an account. I won't even pretend to be as witty as the rest of you - just wanted to say hello.
Hope my fellow East Coasters are safe!
^^^^^
Welcome. I'm here rarely and when I am, it's just to remind Sucky that he's a fatty and ghey.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
www.charitywater.org
www.animalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Now I think that this is a stunt. She has struck a deal with the gay weirdo and agreed they both get famous.
What I don't get is her parents -- they are assholes for raising someone who pretty much acts like a whore at 16/17.
Can you imagine her family reading her tweets, cringy and disgusting.
Thanks, all!
Jack-in-the-hat, I am also a skilled latex manufacturer if you ever find yourself in need.
Submitted by Art Vandelay on Mon, 08/29/2011 - 12:54pm.
Hey, D-hoes! Longtime lurker, finally made an account. I won't even pretend to be as witty as the rest of you - just wanted to say hello.
___________________
Hello Art.
I'm a newbie too. Wanna be friends?
Submitted by Art Vandelay on Mon, 08/29/2011 - 12:54pm.
Hey, D-hoes! Longtime lurker, finally made an account. I won't even pretend to be as witty as the rest of you - just wanted to say hello.
Hope my fellow East Coasters are safe!
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Hello. Nice to meet you.
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
I dont like her and all but the comments in her Facebook are horrible, calling her a whore, what is she is abused? I mean something is wrong with this child. Rant over
I had a quiet weekend sleep a lot and the puppy knows 3 commands
Ultrasound tomorrow
"I will pee myself today and when someone asks, "what is that smell?", I will happily tell them Veluptuous by KK!" Urmomma
Submitted by Nanners on Mon, 08/29/2011 - 12:40pm.
This bitch turns me into a teabagger. SHOW US THE REAL BIRTH CERTIFICATE!!!!
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I would wager a guess that she had to show ID to compete in whatever teen pageant she was in... does anyone know how strict they are with shit like that?
Helloooooooo Art.
Submitted by suckandfuck on Mon, 08/29/2011 - 12:58pm.
Submitted by WhiskeyRiverGirl on Mon, 08/29/2011 - 12:56pm.
I live with two gay men. I am the only female in this house. Both of my kids are boys too.
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Someone should call CPS on you.
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LOL! *SMH*
Submitted by WhiskeyRiverGirl on Mon, 08/29/2011 - 12:56pm.
I live with two gay men. I am the only female in this house. Both of my kids are boys too.
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Someone should call CPS on you.
Yeah, that's been done twice already.
Welcome aboard Art!
"I've had an awful lot of lovers ... And a lot of awful lovers." - Shirley MacLaine
What the fuck is wrong with your lips bitch!! DP face is not a good look.
Mr. Vandelay, I love the work you did on the Guggenheim.
Welcome.
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"I have no snacks for you, only death." ~ annobanano, 08/03/2011
Submitted by Art Vandelay on Mon, 08/29/2011 - 12:54pm.
Hey, D-hoes! Longtime lurker, finally made an account. I won't even pretend to be as witty as the rest of you - just wanted to say hello.
***************************
Welcome!
Submitted by WhiskeyRiverGirl on Mon, 08/29/2011 - 12:56pm.
I live with two gay men. I am the only female in this house. Both of my kids are boys too.
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Someone should call CPS on you.
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
I live with two gay men. I am the only female in this house. Both of my kids are boys too.
Submitted by Bjork You on Mon, 08/29/2011 - 12:52pm.
You guys are really, really, really mean.
Sads.
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You are really, really, really fat.
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
Submitted by Bjork You on Mon, 08/29/2011 - 12:52pm.
You guys are really, really, really mean.
Sads.
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Discuss!
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"I have no snacks for you, only death." ~ annobanano, 08/03/2011
Hey, D-hoes! Longtime lurker, finally made an account. I won't even pretend to be as witty as the rest of you - just wanted to say hello.
Hope my fellow East Coasters are safe!
Submitted by Dog on Mon, 08/29/2011 - 12:48pm.
^^^^
Ur still wearing gray and brown!
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LOL
You had to wait for the next tweet where he talks about taking it all off while seductively licking a strawberry snow cone ..feeling the gooey droplets in his hot flesh. ;-)
*if I were to tweet about my sessy day*
Living now seems so pointless...It's no longer Wet~n~Wild like it was when Irene and I were together...How her cool breath in my ears sent my hair on end and my buttons flying exposing my flesh to her wet talons...she was the only girl who showed me real scorching fireworks in the skies of love.
AFLAC!
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"I have no snacks for you, only death." ~ annobanano, 08/03/2011
2011. While I lie beneath this sizzling-sun, the popsicle that I am sweetly sucking on begins to melt & drips irresistibly all over my moist body!
2031. While I lie beneath this sizzling-sun, the 3rd Big Mac that I am chomping on begins to melt & drips lard all over my fat, hairy bloated body!
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Submitted by gladyslove on Tue, 07/05/2011 - 11:19pm.
You name should be El Retardo.
You guys are really, really, really mean.
Sads.
This is who Matthew Fox should have been tit and box punching.
Submitted by mikidais on Mon, 08/29/2011 - 12:47pm.
Is this whore really 17?
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Courtney = 17 years old as Lindsay Lohan = respectable actress
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What kind of fuckery is this?
Submitted by suckandfuck on Mon, 08/29/2011 - 12:42pm.
Submitted by Dog on Mon, 08/29/2011 - 12:38pm.
ur teh ghey fatty fat fat fat. Nyah.
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REPORTED
^^^^
Ur still wearing gray and brown!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
www.charitywater.org
www.animalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Is this whore really 17? No fucking way!
Has anyone shown documentation that she is really 47?