Open Post: Hosted By Courtney Stodden's 17th Birthday
As the ghost of Michael Jackson moonwalks into Gary, Indiana's Office of Vital Records to change the born date on his birth certificate to any day but today, the garden lizard with first degree porn face that is Courtney Stodden is turning 17 (in porn iguana years) today. It's official: 17 is the new 47!
Courtney cooed out to Radar that she was going to spend her birthday with her 51-year-old plastic gay robot husband at Disneyland, but since they're both wrapped in extra thin mannequin wax and California is being fucked with a heat wave, they're going to stay inside and write more Tweets like this:
While I lie beneath this sizzling-sun, the popsicle that I am sweetly sucking on begins to melt & drips irresistibly all over my moist body!Celebrating the last night of being sweet-n-sexy 16 by wearing NOTHING but my tasty bday-suit! Mmm; Yummy! ;-)
When you're a 17-year-old girl who writes shit that is straight out of Gay Al's script for an episode of The Red Shoe Diaries, you should hug your pimp mother for doing something right. Happy Birthday, Courtney. May we all look like we're having a permanent hot flash when we turn 17 for the 30th time!
• 
Spotty...no I don't. I iz a little skeered to. What's yard bird?
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
LOL, Bjork!!!
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"I have no snacks for you, only death." ~ annobanano, 08/03/2011
Jack - That's a good idea for FB. I don't want an account with my real name, but a dlisted name would be splended.
Guest - Do you FB?
I'm leery of it. Maybe I need to get with the times...
Happy Monday peoples! I was woken up at 4 am by the stste troopers. An 18 wheeler full of yard bird crashed on the freeway. The driver wasn't injured and was EXTREMELY lucky.
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Mon, 08/29/2011 - 2:52pm.
THANK YOU GRAINEY!!!!!!!!!! LUBZ YOU TOO!
IrishFury - xxxxxxxxxxxxx@yahoosucks.com
your choice, doesn't matter to me... deleting email in 2 minutes
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Can Courtney and I contact you, too? We're both over the age of consent.
Submitted by M.E. on Mon, 08/29/2011 - 2:54pm.
I hate the Anthony's as much if not more then Casey. They helped her all the way by pulling BS out of their asses since day one. Hope that the big announcement is that they're are being charged with obstruction of justice or lying under oath.
OMG, word is that Nancy Grace will be on Dancing With The Has beens.
guest - I know several people with made up names that have NO irl friends... just dlisted folks.
granny - pics plz
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"I have no snacks for you, only death." ~ annobanano, 08/03/2011
M.E. They knew WHAT all along?!
Can you have a fb for just dlisted peeps & one for irl peeps or no?
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
I'm sitting here in front of my computer petting my sweet furry little pussy...mmmmmm...Hey! I mean my CAT sillies! ;-)
"When I'm good I'm very good but when I'm bad I'm better." ~Mae West
Hahaha jacko! I hear you...dammit. And please don't tag pics of me doing froufrou shots without my permission, kthxbai!
*side eyes Grainey and makes "ommmmmm!" face*
Did you guys hear that Dr. Phil is going to interview the Anthonys and that there is some MAJOR announcment or something?
They knew from the begining.
And that my friend is why i can`t even imagine being actively on facebook.
A. My life is boring as shit. So nothing to share.
B. I don`t need random coworkers/friends aso in my business.
C. I really don`t give a fuck what half the motherfuckers who would want to add me do all day.
(Dlisters excluded , of course)
I made an account, have a ton of friendsrequest of people i don`t wanna hear and see about.
Facebook is ebil. At least i m starting to think so. Myspace was bad enough.
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"I also have felt the nose heat of the man meat."
SFRB, 04/26/11
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http://www.youtube.com/user/beeper246#p/a/u/2/BrO86m4qAEs
Submitted by TrashyWilma on Mon, 08/29/2011 - 2:49pm.
A FB "friend" (the wife of a former coworker) gave birth yesterday. Pretty sure she uploaded the photo as soon as she popped it out. Next to her really hairy baby's head was her swollen, stretched out nipple.
*Deleted*
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*retches*
What is wrong with people?!
THANK YOU GRAINEY!!!!!!!!!! LUBZ YOU TOO!
IrishFury - *email deleted*
your choice, doesn't matter to me... deleting email in 2 minutes
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"I have no snacks for you, only death." ~ annobanano, 08/03/2011
Well Jack, if she's a bartender, we know she is at least 21 ;)
Lurve ya buddy.
I'm just now really LOOKING at her wedding dress.
Are you kidding me? Did her parents think she looked "beautiful and innocent" in that whorefit?
another one who's mom should've terminated her pregnancy...Kris Jenner, this chicks mom and Casey Anthony's grandma on either side
A FB "friend" (the wife of a former coworker) gave birth yesterday. Pretty sure she uploaded the photo as soon as she popped it out. Next to her really hairy baby's head was her swollen, stretched out nipple.
*Deleted*
http://smellmybutt.tumblr.com/
yeh, she looks like she's 16- maybe 22 years ago.
Grainey - I know... can we not just say "in their 20's"? sounds so much better.
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"I have no snacks for you, only death." ~ annobanano, 08/03/2011
Oxygen - did a search on ssorgyecart and didn't find shit.
IF - most are real names, some are dlisted name, some are just made up shit.
I have dlisted friends on FB but DO NOT want people posting dlisted shit on my wall, etc. WORLDS COLLIDING!
Lucy, I plead the fifth.
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"I have no snacks for you, only death." ~ annobanano, 08/03/2011
Jacko - I can't see the pic. Just says who you were with and where.
Only just noticed the gigantism-suffering pastor in thumbnail #5
I once drove by an abortion clinic, stopped, and checked in on my phone. Totally worth it to make my hypo-Christian friends give me shit.
http://smellmybutt.tumblr.com/
What I hate about Facebook is people who tag me in photos that I'm not even in.
JACK!!!!
That "broad" is...is....
*whispers* way young
Jack, if I friend you, do you have tons of people on here and are they under their real names or just psudo names (like Dlisted).
In other words - do you have the normals from DListed on or a series of lunatics?!
My problem is that if you google my name (YOU DUMB FUCK) you see me all over the Internets, my work, my jobs, my everything!
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Dark-sided!
This is why I only use my punk rock pseudonym on the internets. My birth name, "regular" self doesn't exist electronically. AT ALL.
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"If French is the language of love, then Spanish is the language of badassery!" -MK
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Mon, 08/29/2011 - 2:23pm.
I MAY NOT WANT THE WORLD KNOW WTF I AM DOING AT 5AM ON A SUNDAY FUCKING MORNING THANKYOUVERYMUCH
So we wouldn't know that Jack Sawyer has been unfairly accused of punching Heather Bormann in the cunt, and it was really jack-in-the-hat all along? I'm on to you Jack!
Grainey - just a FRIEND. Her and the other chick are bartenders at one of the places I hang out...
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"I have no snacks for you, only death." ~ annobanano, 08/03/2011
Bjork
It was obviously a joke but I love that Jack's dumbass thought you were serious!
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Dark-sided!
M.E. - it's there, right before Lil G's shit... a chick with the initials AW posted it.
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"I have no snacks for you, only death." ~ annobanano, 08/03/2011
jack
who is that broad anyway?
(oops, hope it's not the one you are kinda dating)
Submitted by TrashyWilma on Mon, 08/29/2011 - 2:33pm.
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Mon, 08/29/2011 - 2:23pm.
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The Check-In feature on Facebook needs to go. I know it's meant to make you look more interesting ("Look, Courtney is at an art gallery, she's so refined") but people abuse it.
I have friends who check in every day to their jobs. Worse, the people who check in AT HOME. I don't want to know about your mundane bullshit. Losers.
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For serious. I have stupid ass relatives that check in at their bathroom, the park, mc donalds etc. WTF? I have another one that takes pics of their fucking cooking. How fucking boring is your life that you feel the need to take a picture of your fucking food? Ugh.
Submitted by TrashyWilma on Mon, 08/29/2011 - 2:33pm.
LOL!!! I like driving by an ex gf's house and checking in at "In the bushes".
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"I have no snacks for you, only death." ~ annobanano, 08/03/2011
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Mon, 08/29/2011 - 2:23pm.
I've got a little RANT. I'm ok with people "checking in" on FB, hell I do it when I get home... but let me just say - DON'T BE TAGGIN PEOPLE WITH YOU UNLESS YOU FUCKING ASK THEIR FUCKING PERMISSION I MAY NOT WANT THE WORLD (or my kid/parents/potential gf) KNOW WTF I AM DOING AT 5AM ON A SUNDAY FUCKING MORNING THANKYOUVERYMUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Please friend request me @ssorgyecart. Really I won't tag you. Unless it's Tuesday or Wednesday $0.25 beer night!!!
Jacko - it's gone. All I can see is lil G's comment.
I absolutely HATE & detest Facebook & Twitter.
I won't date someone who's into that garbage.
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"Going to Burger King to eat healthy is like going to a prostitute for a hug." Dlister Supah 8.20.11
*puts finger on nose and points to Migraine*
with two bartenders that are WAY too young for me... caught hell from Lil G and this chick I've kinda been seeing (not really DATING).
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"I have no snacks for you, only death." ~ annobanano, 08/03/2011
Submitted by nightowl on Mon, 08/29/2011 - 2:29pm.
Maybe this IS a very elaborate prank in the form of a documentary( as many of you have said). Maybe the the doc maker wants to show how the media will pick up ANY kind of story (no matter how little fame you have) and then show how the public will help make you famous even though all you have to offer is scandal and an absence of talent. Basically a Famewhore101 documentary, since its been a phenomenon for a while now.
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I think it's highly likely. Look at the Joaquin "documentary." He got Letterman and Roger Ebert in on it.
The sad thing is that people are so gullible that a story this absurd was bought. I think we're living in intetesting times. The media has fucked us up so bad that we don't know what's real anymore.
http://smellmybutt.tumblr.com/
M.E. - 5:30am sun morning. I may have deleted it. NEVERMIND.
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"I have no snacks for you, only death." ~ annobanano, 08/03/2011
Jackie,
I saw it.
a skinny dip??
Jacko - I looked and didn't see anything.
I didn't!! *runs to fb* At the BS?? What is that? A strip club? lol
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Mon, 08/29/2011 - 2:23pm.
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The Check-In feature on Facebook needs to go. I know it's meant to make you look more interesting ("Look, Courtney is at an art gallery, she's so refined") but people abuse it.
I have friends who check in every day to their jobs. Worse, the people who check in AT HOME. I don't want to know about your mundane bullshit. Losers.
http://smellmybutt.tumblr.com/
If she looks this used up at 17....imagine at 21.
She's a festering cesspool of STDs.
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"Going to Burger King to eat healthy is like going to a prostitute for a hug." Dlister Supah 8.20.11
*comes in with cheeky bikini wedgie*
gotta go zoom zoom!
Coma Caca!
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LMFAO, Sweetass!!! Did you see the 5am post on my FB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?>??
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"I have no snacks for you, only death." ~ annobanano, 08/03/2011
Submitted by IrishFury on Mon, 08/29/2011 - 2:14pm.
Bjork, it's not too late for you to adopt Courtney! I feel your love and concern!
Do it!
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Why not adopt Courtney? I don't have enough to do taking care of my home and family and working, so why not adopt a self-centered, willfully stupid, talentless, no-skilled bubblehead?
No, this joke of mine was officially over when I was confused with Angela, aka Fraggle, Hoof Arted, Schlong, etc., and the recent Madeline Ashton.
GAWD jack why didn't you just tell me?? *removes "chained in mah closet" tag* Baby.