BREAKING: Shia LaDouche Is A LaDouche

August 28, 2011 / Posted by:

There are some douchefucks who should really get nipple-burning drunk in the comfort of their own bedroom closets so they can punch at the walls, rage scream at the air, spray saliva at their coats and act like a total asshole trash dick without making everyone else have a shit time. Shia LaDouche is one of those drunks. The Box in L.A. got a tool shower when Shia LaDouche showed up on Friday night and started spraying water like a douchebag that just sprung a leak.

A witness type tells Life & Style that Shia became a bottle-nosed douche dolphin as soon as he sat at a table with Marilyn Manson and a lady friend who was probably his girlfriend Karolyn Pho. The witness explained Shia’s squirtin’ show like this:

“Shia picked up a water bottle and shot a mouthful of water all over his seated date’s legs. Then he put more water in his mouth and started spitting it all over his tablemates, including Marilyn Manson. He seemed wasted.

People started taking their seats in front of the stage at the event, but all of a sudden Shia started shouting at his date and getting visibly angry. Then he headed for the door. He lunged through the very thick seated crowd, and the crowd pleaded with him and encouraged him to sit down. They tried to hold him back — but he kept struggling through.”

Shia had to climb over people and tear himself out of the grasp of various strangers who were trying to keep him from going crazy. His date panicked and ran out after him. Marilyn looked shocked and annoyed but stayed seated. Shia and the girl did not return.”

It was so insane — he just had a total meltdown right in front of everyone. It was completely out of control. He was so angry and physical. He was determined to get out of there.”

HURRICANE SHIA! Category: Asshole! Shia can’t control his water or his damn booze. The funny thing is that instead of Shia spitting out water at people, the people around him should’ve spit water at him since bitch could use a shower.

Well, at least you know that if you’re ever about to get a blow job from Shia, bring a splash guard, because dude’s a sprayer!

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