Here’s Kate Hudson and Matt Bellamy mouth kissing in front of their newborn Google Goldie at a cafe in London while a man of the people makes a “Waitress, there’s a BARF in my soup!” face! The only time I want to see a dwarf kiss an elf out in public is in Narnia! Is a talking lion walking the streets in front of that cafe? Nope. Therefore, it’s not Narnia, so keep your lips to yourselves! Before you call me a prude who hates public displays of affection, fuck your throat with your tongue. I never said I hated public displays of affection.
Giving a beej in front of a back alley dumpster to a strange dude you just met by the cigarette machine = OKAY
Giving G-rated lovey kisses to the father of your child inside of an eating establishment = NOT OKAY