In case you flushed out the image of Benicio Del Toro’s wolf sperm galloping toward one of Kimbo Stewart’s equine eggs as the entire animal kingdom cheered at the making of a new hybrid, let me remind you that they made raw sex with each other and also made a baby that she birthed out over the weekend. Benicio and Kimbo still haven’t officially released the name of their spawn since they’re waiting for his packmaster Raoul to christen the name as he holds their baby up to the moon and howls with her. But Rod Stewart’s old ass accidentally blurted it out during an interview with USA Today for his new Las Vegas show.
And “I’m a grandfather now,” he chirps, singing out the name Delilah, born Sunday to daughter Kimberly, 32 (whose mother is Alana Hamilton Stewart, one of his two exes). “I’ve been going around blabbing that for hours now.”
There’s half of me that is slow clapping for the name Delilah because it makes her sound like a Biblical whore (I hate that I still watch Friends reruns).
The other part of me is throwing punches with my eyes at Benicio’s “hungover Gaddafi face” for putting that stupid song about that stupid bitch moving to stupid NYC in my stupid head.