Jim Carrey Really Wants To Do Emma Stone
If you've ever wanted to gaze deep into Jim Carrey's 49-year-old pores while he spills the crazy out in an open ode to his love for 22-year-old Emma Stone, this is the shit for you. Jim lets all of us know what thinks of when he jerks off by saying that if he was 20 years younger he'd make a bunch of fat freckled babies with Emma Stone. Then Jim says that he wishes Emma joy, and happiness, and above all this he wishes her laaaaaaaaauuuuuuuv. This video has since been recorded onto a VHS tape, stuffed into a manila envelope and passed to Kevin Costner who has been hired to protect Emma since Jim is obviously thisclose to moving into one of her front bushes. No. Jim is just telling jokes (I think). Here's the transcript which is best read with the karaoke version of THIS.
I just wanted to let you know that I think you're all the way beautiful. Not just pretty, but, you know, smart and kindhearted. And if I were a lot younger, I would marry you, and we would have chubby little freckled faced kids. We'd laugh all day long and go camping and play Yahtzee and tell ghost stories by the fire. And the sex?Everyday for the rest of your life, you would thank God that I was the appropriate age for you. But I'm not. I'm 49. I have lines on my face, sometimes a little grey in my beard, and it takes me a little longer to pee than it used to. Those are the only discernible signs of aging that I can find so far. Anyway, I just wanted to let you know how I felt. You're pretty special, and I wish you continued success and artistic fulfillment, but most of all, I wish you love and contentment. That's all.
We'll also say that Jim is telling jokes when he starts Tweeting about what Emma's toilet paper smells like while he's hiding out inside of her front yard trash can. Emma, the WTF is in your court.
But seriously, what the hell kind of poppers did those penguins give Jim?!
Source: Jim Carrey via HuffPo
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I think they totally fucked but she didn't call him back after and broke his heart. He's about to cry at the end.
Maybe this is some kind up stunt for a movie they're going to start filming together? If not, Tom Cruise just jumped all over his couch cuz he's no longer the biggest old fool out there.
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And pharmaceuticals were invented for me and Liza Minelli. ©2011 BjorkYou.
It turns out he wasn't acting in Truman Show, Bruce Almighty, or Eternal Sunshine. He really is nuts.
He has incipient dementia. Emma Stone is not cute. Not at all.
Well, I don't see any chichis to write home about, but her eyes resemble both Jenny and his first wife. Child needs a restraining order stat.
BTW...Emma Stone is pretty, but can't stand the way she talks, she must have a lisps. It's nice to know what attracts older guys, lol.
Why why why?
OK, now I gotta go Google Emma Stone's bosoms. I mean, this guy had Jenny McCarthy's pillowy chichis and slut teeth.
(Slut teeth=bent out of shape from too much c*ck s*cking.)
Reminds me of when one-hit wonder "You're Beautiful" singer James Blunt was putting the moves on Gisele Bundchen long distance and she caught some minor flak for opining that all British men were disgusting.
he is too old unless he wants to compete with Courtney Stodden/Doug Hutchison?but seriouslyhe looks like a pedo , but i have never liked him , to me he is very overrated.
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"I want to pray for everybody, especially those who have done me grave wrong. For what they've done to me, they're gonna need all the prayers they can get."Danielle Staub
Jim Carrey is so weird! I hate his acting and can't stand to watch him in movies. If I was Emma Stone I would file a restraining order! Creep!
OFF TOPIC but humor me: I just saw on TMZ where they had a pic of Kate Gosselin captioned "Fit Momma"...I do not give a rat's ass HOW MANY kids you have had or how many miles you jog. If your shit has been nipped and tucked and pulled and stapled, then you aren't "naturally fit and toned". Fucking cunt.
That is all.
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She appears to be under the delusion that she is so hot that she can go around sans fards. She needs the fards.-Deb 7/29/11
This makes me sad. Jim Carrey is officially a nutjob and a creep :o/
'Never mess with a chick with lip liner, no lipstick'
What a creeper.
I don't see a problem with the age difference (must be the after effects from that porny 16 year old and her gay husband) but damn he keeps mentioning it and then adds that he can no longer pee like he used to? Ew, way to kill it.
He sounds like a total loser kid in high school pining over the girl who will never date him because he keeps pointing out what a loser he is. Grow some balls Jim. Confidence and humor gets them every time (not this emo shit).
Lol. People are just dumb as hell sometimes. I guess if you are a bazillionaire, though, what the hell.
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She appears to be under the delusion that she is so hot that she can go around sans fards. She needs the fards.-Deb 7/29/11
"We'd laugh all day long and go camping and play Yahtzee and tell ghost stories by the fire. And the sex?"
He's so full of shit. Any woman who's been with him left him because he goes into deep depressions and becomes almost mute, which he's admitted as well. Delusion is a helluva drug.
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And pharmaceuticals were invented for me and Liza Minelli. ©2011 BjorkYou.
wow. so what do you do when you're famous, and your stalker is arguably more so ... as well as perhaps not without power in your industry, and certifiably nuts, on top of it all? there's a screenplay here, i just know it. i wonder who i could cast for it.
...
but, then again, what do i know?
Creepy. Did Jim commit suicide after that?
Anyone remember the old MTV VJ Ray Cokes? (British MTV)
http://www.google.com/imgres?q=ray+cokes&hl=en&biw=790&bih=385&gbv=2&tbm...
Carrey is morphing into him. Difference is Ray Cokes was funny. Carrey has always been an unfunny asshole.
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"I also have felt the nose heat of the man meat."
SFRB, 04/26/11
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http://www.youtube.com/user/beeper246#p/a/u/2/BrO86m4qAEs
Um? Jim Carrey can't afford better bookshelves? Those look like they were rescued from next to the dumpster at the public grade school down the street. I bet he has chairs that are too small for adults, too. Canadians.
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"If you run, you'll only die tired."
Exactly, how is he only 49 yo?
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"Bye, Whore" -MK
49?!!?? Dude looks 60.