Jada & Will's Infinite Cycle Of Love Needs Some WD-40
Seen here in the glory days before Scientology audits and strap-on exhaustion got the best of 'em, Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith denied that they're whippin' divorce papers back and forth by letting out a statement that said their marriage is still "intact." Will and Jada's spokeswhore finally burped out that denial after spending the entire day saying that she does not comment on their personal lives. Blah. Blah. Blah. I kind of cocked (heh, cocked) my head to the side like my dog when I wave a bacon Post-It at his face over Will and Jada's PR ho using the word "intact." So clinical. It sounds like a word my free clinic nurse practitioner would use after poking at my no-no with a tree branch and beating it with palm leaves before trying to cleanse it with beekeeper smoke. He pulls off his gas mask, the priest pulls the holy water-marinated contact lenses out of his eyes and then he gives me a thumbs up when he says, "INTACT!"
That's how the word intact should be used. But wait! TMZ says there's a good reason for why they worded their denial like that. Dun dun dun.
A source tells TMZ that their publicist spent the entire day trying to carefully word the statement, because things are not exactly cotton candy queefs and rainbow cum shots. The source claims that Will and Jada's marriage is in trouble and they're trying to fix it. They're all going away as a family soon and it could be one of those "Band-Aid" trips.
THANK XENU! The earth can stop shaking now. Will and Jada are not getting divorced. Will and Jada might sue InTouch. Will did not weep after walking in on Jada using Skeletor's skinny ass as a human strap-on to fuck her side piece with (because I refuse to believe they would ever fuck). All is well in the world again. I'm glad that Will and Jada have decided that it's best they stay together for the sake of their children's careers.
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I don't understand why everyone acts like it's a big scandal that they're bi and swingers and all that. I mean, they've never spelled it out but a lot of people know. And Jada said once in an interview that Will "makes love like a woman." Once she even made a comment on "Oprah" about how she finds women attractive.
Sometimes I think people would rather get all freaked out about stuff than just listen and accept things.
These two asshats deserve to be stuck with each other. Guess they are tired of living in a fake marriage?
www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2029700/Will-Smith-caught-Jada-Pin...
good photoshopping and headlines "JADA STEALS JLO'S HUSBAND* Will bursts into tears...
This is nearly as good as when Tommy Girl threw Nicole Kidman out.
These two douches were certainly on a media blitz this summer. Didn't they get their mansion featured in Architectural Digest? And I remember her having a cover story for Redbook (yeah, I know it's not Vogue) maybe in June. She was a smug bitch in the interview, rolling around with her designer shoes and what a great mom she is. Puke. Personally, I think they are desperate to be front page stuff again, hence the kids "fame." When the goody two-shoes stuff didn't work, time to have "separation" rumors afloat. Sells more magazines.
In this pic, Jada looks like she is Supressing a fart that instead travelled northward and came out as a loud-ass burp. Then the reporter looks at her incredulously and tells her that she is NOT at the Nickelodeon Kids Choice Awards!
"Revenge is sweet and not fattening"
-Alfred Hitchcock-
Hope it was good for them while it lasted. Part of me is kinda happy in a fucked up way. They looked sooo perfect together. Will has fame, money and looks, but, it (alledgedly) wasn't enough to keep the wifey. Makes me feel better about the implosion of my own fairy tale. I never walked in on her, but, had suspicions and they proved to be right. Fuck my life ! ! !
cdn.mediatakeout.com/50670/mto_world_exclusive_we_have_the_inside_scoop____on_whats_causing_problems_in_will_and_jadas_marriage_its_juicy_too.html
What could they possibly be doing? I'm guessing swinging and shit.
Marc Anthony?! Bitch, please. That's a complete smokescreen. When will someone blow up and expose the "church" of Scientology fuckery?
Scientologist whores. Can not stand them, and what they have done with their children is this close to child abuse.... mentally.
Horrid, horrid couple.
They are totally fronting.
http://www.tmz.com/videos?autoplay=true&mediaKey=f5f0739e-b1d9-4408-8414...
The second they started firing off the "We're A-O.K." press releases (via one of Will's own *children*, for fuck's sakes), I knew that they were more pissed that someone jumped the gun and beat them to a possible autumn announcement of a split. Cynical 2 the core.
Like anyone would every believe that these closet cases fuck other people of the opposite sex. Nice try though!
These are the same kind of rumors that swirled right before Madonna and Guy announced a separation, Pitt & Aniston, Courtney Cox & David, Britney & K-Fed, Tom C & Nicole K, JLO & Marc
The one surprise out of left field ... Bullock and Jesse James ..
Submitted by yepyepyep on Wed, 08/24/2011 - 8:40am.
ok sorry to high yack this thread but what is the best OTC pain medicine? I need asap, I got an emergency doctors appt tomorrow but pain is almost unbearable (cramp like ovarian pain)
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Yikes! Maybe you should go to an ER? Motrin always helps me if you want an OTC.
This reported almost-break up doesn't make any sense. I don't know how many times I've read that they have an open marriage. Jada even alluded to it in a magazine years ago. Something to the affect that as long as he runs it by her, it's good.
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Always a shred of truth to these rumors. Will & Jada were gunning for a quiet separation, but one of the kids blabbed to their friends, mom's not hanging around much.
Word spreads fast at Scientology school to the stars..
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I never realized until now how much Will and Jada look alike, only thing missing are the big ears and boom! twins!
Good. Bad. I'm the guy with the gun.
-Ash
You said it, MK.... their relationship is intact for the sake of their children's careers.
How romantic....
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I guess it's best to end a relationship the same way you start it: absolutely fucking tanked. MK 6/11
KA
thank you, my appt is tomorrow so far the heat pad and advil have done wonders, I did not want to reply to that person because some people do get offended and I did go off topic
but thank you so much for your advice and all that did too
"I will pee myself today and when someone asks, "what is that smell?", I will happily tell them Veluptuous by KK!" Urmomma
Submitted by yepyepyep on Wed, 08/24/2011 - 8:56am.
please go to the doctor asap. please dont mess around with abdominal pain like that. i let appendicitis go for over a month and almost died from it rupturing. ive also had bad uti's and kidney stones, which have gotten bad and turned into kidney infections. i get painful cysts on my ovaries too, so it could be that, but please dont let it go - go get help asap. hope you are ok.
and who the fuck cares if someone is talking about a medical issue here? the sluts talk about a lot of stuff. you dont like it, move on.
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A baby's first words should not be: "DEATH DON'T TAKE ME NOW!!!" - MK
Marc Anthony??? How in the world would that dude get involved in a love triangle? And with Jada the woman lover?
LMFAO
As for the "Marc Anthony rumor," uh, no. Pinkett is known for surrounding herself with her female "friends" on set. Skeletor doesn't qualify for that group.
I'm glad that Will and Jada have decided that it's best they stay together for the sake of their children's careers.
As they used to say back in the day, Mikey: So. Much. WORD.
Jada with Marc would explain Jlo dropping his ass. I don't think Jlo would play that "open marriage" game.
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I've written a letter to MK...saying...I...love...youuuuuu.
The only time I've enjoyed Jada on screen was when she was getting brutally stabbed to death at the start of Scream 2.
Well isn't that fucking wonderful! Now we all get to endure having those smug kids shoved down our throats some more.
And seriously, is this really an appropriate place to discuss medical issues?
Submitted by yepyepyep on Wed, 08/24/2011 - 8:40am.
ok sorry to high yack this thread but what is the best OTC pain medicine? I need asap, I got an emergency doctors appt tomorrow but pain is almost unbearable (cramp like ovarian pain)
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Alleve but be careful. It has now been found to weaken bones and teeth if used long term. Take it with milk or food or you'll be sorry. But it will zap the pain for hours!
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www.charitywater.org
www.animalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
I'm shocked. Absolutely SHOCKED that I care even less about this than I did yesterday.
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www.charitywater.org
www.animalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Well that solves that. The check did NOT bounce.
And Jada will always be cute. That's why it is called Elfen magic!
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Jug ears and a midget. What a pair of ugly fucks.
"No matter how cynical you become, it's impossible to keep up." - Lily Tomlin
yepyepyep
I agree that you should see a doctor today if you are in that much pain and have been.
If you are determined to wait until tomorrow, I agree with taking ibuprofren with food. I hope that you feel better soon. Please keep us posted, hon.
On topic: Could this just be a way to generate interest in Jada's new TV show?
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
*throws self at IG* That seriously cracked me the hell up!! She is so old Slim Jim looking. xoxoxo
SWEETASS!!! *makes intentional typo* ♥♥
Submitted by islandgirl on Wed, 08/24/2011 - 8:45am.
Nanners, seriously! I can't with the Marc Anthony rumour, mainly because it forces me to imagine them naked. I'm picturing a pigeon chest and an angry penis. And don't even get me started on Marc. :)
Bwahahahahaha!!
Hope you're feeling better Y3 and please keep us posted.
Cue J-LO and Will be seen together having dinner. Poor J-Duh
Hollywood power play bullshit. These people are so used to controlling every bit of information about them that they freak out when someone else blows the whistle. Guarantee that they'll deny, deny, deny and then release their own seperation statement.
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Try to be original, like the Colonel Sanders (may he rest in peace with his secret spices and shit). - urmomma
Submitted by RustyHooligan on Wed, 08/24/2011 - 8:50am.
She's not Marc Anthony's type but then she does have a vagina so maybe she is his type. If the rumors of their open marriage are true, then why would one more amante matter
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Maybe they have a deal like so many other bi couples - you can only sleep with members of the same sex outside your marriage.
Submitted by harperharper on Wed, 08/24/2011 - 8:28am.
"I always suspect that when someone famous puts their house in Architectural Digest that means the property is for sale."
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Now that you mention it, that's what happened with Jennifer Aniston's house.
Submitted by But.Seriously.Folks on Wed, 08/24/2011 - 9:37am.
Whaaaa waaaaaaa?
Will bumping parts with Marc Anthony?!
i didnt know Will was into twilight vampire zombies.
i thought he was into power bottom midgets like tommy girl cruise.
took advil 600 mg and heating pad. doctor appt at 8:45 tomorrow morning. thank you so much I dont know what I would do without you guys
"I will pee myself today and when someone asks, "what is that smell?", I will happily tell them Veluptuous by KK!" Urmomma
Submitted by harperharper on Wed, 08/24/2011 - 8:28am.
"I always suspect that when someone famous puts their house in Architectural Digest that means the property is for sale."
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Wasn't the Goopster in AD very recently, showcasing her exotic penis-pendant chandeliers?
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"okayyy lets not make a goddess out of Maria Shiver now. It's from her bitch face that she is a cunt." - cuntwhore (2011-08-08)
Scientolocos are FUCKED up.
YYY - I second the motion of 600mg of Advil. Also, are you sure that you don't have uterine fibroids? Frequent urination, abdominal pain, etc? Good luck! It sounds like you're in a lot of pain/discomfort.
Maybe the rumor is backwards and Jada walked in on Marc and Will and was super pissed cuz he ain't supposed to fuck anybody else without her permission with an option to join in.
Anyways, this shit is over. It's a matter of time. LOL @ the "I'mma gonna sue ya!" tactics. That is sooooo Scientology.
I guess Jada got tired of "Big Willy" and wanted to try on for size another big one.
Seriously though... Jada with a man?
And I thought Jada and Will were screwing all the time. I guess that makes Jada a nympho as well.
I think more juicy (and accurate) revelations are yet to come.
Yep x 3: you can take 600 mg of ibuprofen 3 - 4 times a day. Regular otc ibuprofen is 200 mg. I would recommend eating as nsaids can cause stomach upset. If it persists, get your ass to a doctor. No excuses!!!
Submitted by islandgirl on Wed, 08/24/2011 - 8:45am.
Nanners, seriously! I can't with the Marc Anthony rumour, mainly because it forces me to imagine them naked. I'm picturing a pigeon chest and an angry penis. And don't even get me started on Marc. :)
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LOL!!!!
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yepyepyep, I 2nd the motion of using Aleve.
I have used a "pain cocktail" of 2 Aleve's and 2 Ibuprophen(sp) at the same time, when my doctor's won't give me any more of the good stuff.
Eat some crackers and/lor a piece of toast.
My dentist at Baylor initially told me about this "pain cocktail" and have never had any problems with "over medicating".
Good luck.
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It’s just like Hillary said about Barry:
"It would take a willing suspension of disbelief, to buy what he’s selling."
Jada should date Queen Latifah.
Good Morning Dlisted bunnies!
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"Going to Burger King to eat healthy is like going to a prostitute for a hug." Dlister Supah 8.20.11
Submitted by NOT IMPRESSED on Wed, 08/24/2011 - 9:15am.
it also makes the Fresh Prince sound like a complete pussy.
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I can't see Will going crazy and beating bitches up. If he really loved Jada (blech) he'd cry.
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What kind of fuckery is this?