Carrie Fisher Drops The Chunk

August 24, 2011 / Posted by:

Carrie Fisher was on Today this morning to twirl out the body that is 50 pounds lighter thanks to her contract with Jenny Craig that states if she doesn’t lose 50 pounds in 9 months they’ll put her in a peen suit and sic John Travolta’s hongray hongray hole on them. 54-year-old Carrie told Ann Curry that she decided to drop the chunk, because she couldn’t look herself in the mirror anymore and was sick of lugging around two Jabba the Titties. Below is the interview of Carrie talking about how she wants to get back into the metal bikini while Ann Curry nearly pops her busted brows off from trying too hard to act like she really really cares:

Carrie knocked the Dominican dick out of John Travolta’s mouth and waved it all around, so she can do no wrong. That is why I’m going to assume that Jenny Craig’s food has a special chemical in it that turns body fat into a kind of Botox that rises up to your face.

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