Welcome to another edition of “The Shit That Comes Out Of Megan Fox’s Mouth Hole.” The future Oscar ceremony sweat warmer and the reincarnation of Plato (not Dana, the other one) must have just come across Marilyn Monroe’s Wikipedia page, because she tells Italian magazine Amica (via ONTD) that tattoo of Marilyn’s face on her arm is queefing out negativity into her positive aura and so she’s lasering it off. Sort of like how that fire roasted douchebag Michael Bay lasered Megan Fox’s negative energy off of the Transformers movies. Megan adjusted the energy-cleansing dildo of burning sage in her ass and said this about her Marilyn tattoo:
“I’m removing it. It is a negative character. She suffered from personality disorders and was bipolar. I don’t want to attract this kind of negative energy in my life. And who knows? I’m thinking of removing some other tattoos, but the pain in the sessions of laser removal is terrible.”
Bitch, that busted tattoo could say the same thing about you. In other words, bitch’s facelift pushed the thin layer of bull shit out of her eyes and made her see that her tattoo looked more like a Blasian Beyonce impersonator in a dusty swap meet wig.
This is good news for the other hos in Marilyn’s crypt since they can rest now that her body will stop rolling, but this is bad news for all of the casting agents of Hollywood. They can no longer use Megan’s shattoo to hide the fact that they aren’t casting her because her acting skills make a dried cat piss stain on a cardboard box seem like the Meryl Streep of its kind. The “we just don’t have the make-up budget to cover up Megan’s lovely tattoo…yeah, that’s it” excuse is out of play. Damn, that Megan!
That being said, don’t ever change, Professor Whore Face!