Trace Cyrus Is Spawning

August 23, 2011 / Posted by:

Didn’t Brenda Song’s trainer teach her to always use a saddle (aka Trojan horse condom) when going horseback riding? I guess not, because Celebuzz is saying that inside of 23-year-old Brenda Song’s womb a tiny fetus is putting its little tiny fetus hooves together and praying that the Song gene is its dominant one. A source tells them that Brenda, who was in some Disney crap and The Social Network, pulled some Catherine the Great shit on 22-year-old Trace Cyrus’ horse dick and now she’s going to birth out an Asian centaur that will gallop out of her pussy in a few months. Brenda led a horse to her vagina and it did more than DRANK.

While I NEEEEEIGH at the image of Auntie Noah and Auntie Miley try to pull an apple off of a tree to feed it to their nephew Flicka, read what Celebuzz had to say about this mess:

Big congrats to Brenda Song and Trace Cyrus! The couple is expecting their first child together, Celebuzz can exclusively report.

“They are beyond thrilled,” a source tells us. “They are about eight weeks along.”

The Social Network star and Miley Cyrus‘ brother have been quietly seeing each other for several months, but made their first appearance together on the red carpet at Nylon Magazine’s party in early May.

Trace’s publicist could not be reached for comment.

This Emo bestiality shit was probably Equus’ original ending, but even Peter Shaffer knew he was going too far.

Well, the good news is that first time birth shouldn’t be that bad for Brenda. All she has to do is shove a live snake up her ass and that hapa foal will come galloping for ITS LIFE out of her coochie before you can say “sugar cube.” And if Babies ‘R Us hasn’t already stocked their shelves with newborn feedbags and baby hooves for Kimbo Stewart’s baby, now might be a good time to do so.

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