Jada Pinkett & Will Smith’s Infinite Cycle Of Love Has Stopped Spinning (UPDATE: Officially Denied)

August 23, 2011 / Posted by:

Everything that needs to be said is being said in that picture above, but I’ll say it in anyway. InTouch is hearing from some “insider” that Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith have both skipped into a barber shop together and shaved the beard off of their faces:

After 13 years of marriage, Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith have decided to separate, an insider tells In Touch Weekly exclusively. They have two children, Jaden and Willow, together. And Jada is stepmother to Will’s son, Trey, from a previous marriage.

When TMZ asked Will and Jada’s rep, Karynne Tencer, to either give a thumbs up or a thumbs down to this shit, she didn’t even try to give half of a fuck about it.

“What? In Touch said that? I know nothing about this … Lord. I’m going back to bed.”

Karynne says almost the exact same thing every time she accidentally walks into a room and catches Jada wielding a mighty strap-on attached to some genitals that are not attached to Will Smith. But seriously, I won’t believe this until I see Will carrying a box full of Xenu-shaped dildos out of the Scientology rec room. Will and Jada are stuck together like Tommy Girl’s mouth on a David Beckham poster. (Seriously, the Scientology slaves have to threaten to spray Tommy with a hose full of liquid anti-depressants if he doesn’t take his mouth off of it. It’s a gross scene).

I find it hard to believe that Will & Jada would skip away from their infinite cycle mansion and more importantly, skip away from all the attention they get for being a happy couple who can’t stop fucking each other. If there’s no hope for Will & Jada, then there’s no hope for Tommy & Katie or Kelly & John Travolta. This is a direct threat to the art of bearding. I’m going back to bed too.

UPDATE: Will’s son Trey went on Twitter to say, “Will and Jada getting a DIVORCE ..NOT TRUE AT ALL !! RETWEET.

Will and Jada’s rep finally got out of bed and only said that the rumor about her crotch doing the limbo under Skeletor’s wrist dick is not true, “All the rumors regarding Marc Anthony and Jada are false. Completely untrue. As for [the reports of a split between] Will and Jada, I’m not commenting on their personal life.”

UPDATE II: Will and Jada finally issued this shit: “Although we are reluctant to respond to these types of press reports, the rumors circulating about our relationship are completely false. We are still together, and our marriage is intact.” Translation: Contract negotiations were successful!

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