The Iconic Beauty Courtney Stodden Is Coming To Reality TV!
The 16-year-old horny garden lizard with a weave nest on top of her head and her 51-year-old husband with gay serial killer face brought their love to Australia's The Morning Show today and it was a luded up, dragged down mess as usual. Courtney Stodden is the kind of mess my 11-year-old gay self wanted to be and Doug Hutchison is what my 51-year-old gay self will be if I do too many poppers and accidentally order a lady bride while in a meth haze.
I still don't know how these are real human beings who breathe in oxygen like the rest of us. How are they not mutated pieces of porn bots, Komodo dragon labias and charred foreskin? I keep waiting for the Tales of the Crypt credits to come up after every single one of their interviews. Bitches are the circus that keeps on circus-ing!
While Courtney's strap tried to get as far away from her "coked up zombie pushing out a hard shit in slow motion" facial expressions, the demure goddess flower said that they are working on a reality show and it will be like no other. Then Courtney and Doug let out a gutter river of quotes that will make your stomach lining and your tongue become one:
Doug: 51 + 16 = Love....in our world.
Courtney: Sexy love!Courtney: Because of his face, his body, his sexy hair. Talk about seducing! He seduced me immediately! I knew off the bat that he was the one for me and that was it. When you find that one man you know you love, go for it!
Doug: Courtney embodies the classic iconic figures of the past. The Marilyn Monroes. The Sharon Tates. The Pamela Andersons.
Courtney: Old Hollywood. Very classy! The world should not forget beautiful woman like that. They have made a beautiful impact on the world.
AND Doug and Courtney's dogs are named Tuna and Bizarre! TUNA AND BIZARRE! That's pretty much what the room would smell like if they tried to fuck. I say "would" because Doug is gayer than a unicorn horn butt plug up a Care Bear's ass. And those dogs. I've seen a dog make a FUCK MY LIFE face before, but I've never seen one like the one Bizarre is making. Bizarre is looking at Courtney the same way Ripley side-eyed that blind alien trying to eat her face. Looking like Riff Raff from Rocky Horror Show is no way for a dog to go through life.
Now, I leave you with a few of Courtney's hilarious Twats presented without comment, because they speak for themselves:
Experiencing such a wet 'n wild afternoon by turning on a water hose and squirting it all over my heated flesh! Mmm feeling rejuvenated! XOs
20 AugHad a blast last night @ the Santa Monica Pier. I loved performing dances on the light up poles. Who knew a ferris wheel could be so fun?!
22 AugWhile Doug prepares a delicious din-din, I arouse his appetite by shakin it on the kitchen counter to "Car Candy" ... Just doin' my job! ;-)
21 hours ago
via Radar
• 
interesante...
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"Oh no, no, no, sweet baby. They're gonna eat you alive in Hollywood. Oh you're definitely going to end up doing gay porn with this tiny little body of yours" -Sweet Dee
Courtney added me as a friend on Facebook. Her page is kinda boring. I was hoping for a higher degree of fuckery.
Submitted by Anonymouse73 on Wed, 08/24/2011 - 8:36pm.
I loved Scully & Mulder, but I stopped watching when Mulder was being phased out. I was never an xphile anyway, because I loved an episode in the 2nd or 3rd season that most people hated. I think it was called, "This is the field where I died," and it was all about Mulder having a past life as a confederate soldier with one of their suspects as his wife, and Scully was in his army division or something. Loved it.
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"Your ignorance makes me ill and angry. Your savageness...must...end."
Speaking of The X-Files,
Have you noticed Chris Carter has faded into obscurity?
I had a friend who worked on the show and he's basically a hack. The reason the show was successful was due to all the people he hired.
Look at Breaking Bad, Vince Gilligan used to work under Chris Carter.
He's an arrogant douche who resented it when Glen Morgan won a writing emmy for Clyde Bruchman's Final Repose.
"And HELL YES Skinner was fucking hot! So was Robert Patrick, but by then the show was absolutely wretched. Both men had this seething virility."
Yes! Robert Patrick, too.
And someone mentioned Giles from Buffy...totally hot.
What is wrong with me...
I guess Scully and Mulder did not like each other in real life...which is so weird b/c I always saw a chemistry there.
You guys make me want to go back and watch all the seasons again. But then I'll be too scared to go to sleep!
For the love of gravity, fix that damn strap!Pawing at it was more distracting than the blond fembot's multiple attempts at facial expression, tiger.
Here is one more ACTUAL TWEET from @CourtneyStodden:
"Just returned from a lovely Sunday morning service @ church today. Kickin back at home now while sporting a HOT mini-retro-jumper! CLASSIC!"
(All capitalization and punctuation is verbatim from the Tweet)
God must be so proud
€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€
ummmmmmmmmm....
words. fail. me.
Goddammit. I hate these two people.
Damn, is this Jimmy Bocca person Courtney herself?
Submitted by louise_brooks on Wed, 08/24/2011 - 11:13am.
All this talk of terrifying X Files episodes and no one mentions the scariest one ever...Home?? The one with the creepy inbreds who keep their mom on some kind of rolly board underneath the bed. That one still gives me the creeps.
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OMG! That was my favorite episode. It was so good!
I'm still waiting to see if she adds me on Facebook. I want to see this fuckery up close.
CourtneyStodden Courtney Stodden
Off to run my productive-fulfilled errands under the humid sky, while nothing but utter sex-appeal slowly drips from my rill curvy-bod. ;-x
she should probably get her dripping looked at by a doctor
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I wish I had multiple Alts, that way I won't be so lonely when I'm talking to myself
Damn Double Posting!!!! I guess I have to fill this one with another brain dead tweet
CourtneyStodden Courtney Stodden
Took a stimulating stroll on Hollywood BLVD with my pink pup. I love how the evening breeze slightly blows through my hair & touches me. ;-)
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I wish I had multiple Alts, that way I won't be so lonely when I'm talking to myself
If her tweets were a drinking game and I took a shot every time she wrote "mmmmmm" I would have alcohol poisoning. And I'm not gonna lie. I will watch the reality show. I haven't seen anything this trashy since Rock of Love.
"Small and broken..... but still good..... mostly...."
Why do I have a feeling this could be what ends the Kardashians popularity? Fuckery replaced by even more fuckery. Ugh, fuck this state of humanity, there's people suffering while assholes like these make news.
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What would Jesus do for a Klondike Bar?
I just re-checked the pic at the top. Nope. No way in hell would I want to look like her. My skin doesn't look like overly worn leather, my boobs are real (and amazing, thanks), and my hair isn't processed beyond repair. Oh, and I can make real facial expressions. I win.
Anyone who thinks most men would want to "bang" her is clearly hanging out with the wrong men.
I am cracking up reading her tweets. I guess she thinks God is directing her to be this way?
CourtneyStodden Courtney Stodden
Proverbs 3:6 In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.
18 Aug
Courtney Stodden
CourtneyStodden Courtney Stodden
Took off my clothes & slowly cooling down by dipping myself into a pleasurable pool. Ah... so refreshing! :-)
18 Aug
It's like they are using Mad Libs to put her tweets together.
Submitted by KA on Wed, 08/24/2011 - 9:52am.
I'm pretty sure Jimmy Bocca is gay, so he would be more inclined to go for Doug, not Courtney
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IH0_XfxnXWI
How do we know this coupling isn't just some sort of distraction? I don't for a minute believe that she is 16 - doesn't look it or sound it. And I cannot imagine the parents who would let their 16-year-old daughter see a middle-aged man.
Jimmy Bocca...chill not in this life time or the next 500 would I want to look like this rent a skank...even at 16 (cough)...bitch looks beyond rode hard and put up wet....and trust, that look she is sporting has been done much better, much sexier, and much classier...this whole thing reeks pedophilia..and that is what is the creepiest...no 16 year old acts like this unless some dark nasty shit was done to her at a very young age...this is beyond wrong and beyond creepy...this is the main problem...
All this talk of terrifying X Files episodes and no one mentions the scariest one ever...Home?? The one with the creepy inbreds who keep their mom on some kind of rolly board underneath the bed. That one still gives me the creeps.
OLD HOLLYWOOD. VERY CLASSY.
Christ, she took the words right out of my ass.
Ack! grody!
I WILL NOT watch that video. I've already had all that I can take from them. And talk about a still for faces of meth.. Ish. What 16 year old did they have to kill so they could steal her birth certificate? No way is this person 16. Walk into a high school girls do not look like that. I am sure you will find a few that act that way, but no way do they have such used up faces.
can hardly type ... blinded by glamour ...
SoR-RaY, Jimmy! :)
♥ Threadkilla!
Lean Like a Chola, Celebrity Stylez: http://youtu.be/0ZwdYeGSVS0
Submitted by Jimmy Bocca on Wed, 08/24/2011 - 4:54am.
With all these 200 judgemental comments, it just shows you what's really wrong in our society, Not a 51 marrying a 16, but the fact that everyone thinks they can live/judge other peoples lives. MIND YOUR OWN EFFIN BUSINESS YOU LOWLIVES. They said they are happy, I don't see a gun to her head so drop it and stop being such bitter bitches. Garanteed all the woman posting here wish they looked like her and all the men posting here wish they could bang her. TRUTH.
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Oh, okay troll. Have you been around dlisted at all? This is what we do. There is no celeb ass kissing going on in this site, not even from MK. I will go on being a "bitter bitch", tyvm. You can continue to be a troll all you'd like, but I'm no longer feeding you and no one else should, either.
You are so right. I'm jealous of her drug face, her fake body and the three brain cells she has left in her head. Also, this is how you spell guaranteed. As in, guaranteed you wish you were this slimy asshole so you could fuck coked up slutty underage girls, too. Enjoy.
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A baby's first words should not be: "DEATH DON'T TAKE ME NOW!!!" - MK
Jimmy Boca?
Why do I want to be her if I am already a 41 year old woman with big saggy tits?
No thanks! I aspire to be young and fresh faced which clearly this gal is not!
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Brevity may be the soul of wit, but to twit without wit is soulless -- Johanne Savoie
*squeezes albatross*
Submitted by jerseygirl17 on Tue, 08/23/2011 - 6:03pm.
People who talk that much about how in love they are and how they have sex 24/7 are compensating for something. Probably the fact that he's pretending to be straight and she's pretending to be younger than 40.
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Yeeeesssss! You fucking nailed it!!!!!!!!
Looks like I can incorporate her tweets into my diet/exercise regimen for increased results in suppressing my appetite.
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Try to be original, like the Colonel Sanders (may he rest in peace with his secret spices and shit). - urmomma
Submitted by Jimmy Bocca on Wed, 08/24/2011 - 4:54am.
I sure as fuck don't want to look like her. She is a bleach blonde, needle nosed, coke fiend, with not enough intelligence to understand the most remidial of things in life. Anyone with two or more brain cells can tell the bitch is drugged the fuck out and that he is a closet ghey, hoping to revive his pretty non-existent career by marrying a 16 yr old. And anyone who thinks it is AOK for a 51 year old man to marry a 16 yr old is a sick fuck themselves.
Submitted by Jimmy Bocca on Wed, 08/24/2011 - 4:54am.
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Oh, go eff yourself, jimmy!! So we can't judge these ppl, but you continue to judge us, calling us heiffers and lowlives, just b/c we choose not to WH0RE for the camera?? WTFever - hypocrite!!
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"He had an okay body. Not fat at all. And naturally toned abs. She could pour a shot of tequila down his belly and slurp it out of his navel without getting splashed in the face." - A Shore Thing, by the
O - I see now! He likes her cuz she's a natural born slut. I get it!
♥ Threadkilla!
Lean Like a Chola, Celebrity Stylez: http://youtu.be/0ZwdYeGSVS0
This whole thing is a big publicity stunt to garner attention for an upcoming reality show. They have been sowing the seeds from the very beginning anouncement of their marraige. Some publicity hound is sitting in his cushy office laughing while making up her ridiculous tweets.Its all about money folks! And if these people truely are real, than god help us all.........
if he "seduced" her immediately as she says and she's 16 then that's called rape.
Hmmmmppppfffff!
Oh great, I posted twice. I never thought I'd be one of "those" people. Well fuck.
Submitted by urmomma on Tue, 08/23/2011 - 9:34pm.
Thanks for the info. I'm from GA so it's always nice to know how to throw down like my neighbors.
But of course I would NEVER use it, cause I'm a lady too....*cough, cough*
Submitted by urmomma on Tue, 08/23/2011 - 9:34pm.
Thanks for the info. I'm from GA so it's always nice to know how to throw down like my neighbors.
But of course I would NEVER use it, cause I'm a lady too....*cough, cough*
I hope they die soon.
Submitted by WhiskeyRiverGirl on Tue, 08/23/2011 - 11:14pm.
Those poor dogs should be taken away. There has to be some pet abuse going on. The one dog is dyed pink.
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The two humans should be euthanized and the dogs given to proper homes.
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Wow the guy on here supporting this massive act of f*ckery must be massivly f*cked up himself,
this is so wrong, you can tell she is so messed up on some sort of drug, Im guessing its something prescriptive, in some interviews she's calm and in this one she's up, she can't sit still and is unaware of her facial expressions, the sexy face she makes looks more like a a facial tic
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I wish I had multiple Alts, that way I won't be so lonely when I'm talking to myself
I would like to fuck her in the face with a bulldozer. Tis all.
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"I have no snacks for you, only death." ~ annobanano, 08/03/2011
Submitted by urmomma on Tue, 08/23/2011 - 6:47pm.
I love you.
"GREEN MILE MOTHERFUCKERS! JOHN COFFEY HELP US!" That's just begging to be made into a sig line.
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"It's all fun and farts until somebody gets punched." -MK
Tardy for the party.
Wow, that was al sorts of fucken weird. Doesn't it look like somebody is feeding her what to say when she's holding on to something in her ear? Maybe we're all being played?
Looks like they want to cause so much controversy and get a reality show.
He's gay and she has a dick. Perfect match
"When I'm good I'm very good but when I'm bad I'm better." ~Mae West
There is NO FUCKING WAY this guy is straight! The only way they're having sex is her strapping it on.
What is it with those weird facial expression this bitch puts on? I keep thinking her eyes are going to continue and roll right to the top.
Crankenstein
she is not sixteen - sorry. More like 30, and a joke. She has no sex appeal - puts on the sexy - and its boring. Anyway - I thought he was gay?