The Spawn Of Kimbo Stewart And Benicio Del Toro Is Here
That story about Kimbo Stewart making a fetus with Benicio Del Toro was not a bizarre hallucination your imagination burped up after you were knocked out in a teabagging gone wrong incident involving Cisco Adler's "baby elephant in a long tube sock" nuts. It is a true thing. The rabies-infested wolf hobo of Puerto Rico actually rode Kimbo Stewart bareback and as he howled and she neighed, a wolf-horse hybrid was created. (This proves that not all interspecies love is made of adorable.) And now UsWeekly says that the baby who will remind us all that Kimbo and Benicio fucked once has arrived!
While her daddy Rod Stewart and her mom Alana Collins were at the hospital, Kimbo sprawled herself out on a bed of hay and pushed out a baby girl who weighed in at 8lbs and 9oz. Benicio and Kimbo are not together as a couple, so who knows if he showed up at the hospital to welcome his new daughter to his pack by licking her ear fur and sucking the mites out of her neck.
Kimbo hasn't said what she's named her daughter, but bitch has to know that there's only one right name and that's Wattafuck Del Toro-Stewart. Because that's pretty much what everyone's going to shout when Baby Wattafuck tells them that her mom is Kimbo Stewart and her dad is Benicio Del Toro.
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The baby is called Delilah..wasn't she a slut..see seduce samson and betrayed him for money..Like mother like daughter..
I hear benicio is going to marry her 29 September this year.,sad bastard.
i wanna know what drug and alcohol cocktail they were on when they had sex bareback in some batshit crazy situation. i think less of benicio for this, obviously, since kimbo is such a 'rich dick' worshipper, having no talent herself this was a good move on her financial part though. shes terrible i laugh at all her shit.
i wanna know what drug and alcohol cocktail they were on when they had sex bareback in some batshit crazy situation. i think less of benicio for this, obviously, since kimbo is such a 'rich dick' worshipper, having no talent herself this was a good move on her financial part though. shes terrible i laugh at all her shit.
Another future obnoxious celebutard in the world.
Big fucking fizz.
YES. THE MOMENT WE HAVE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR. FINALLY.
2
Margerita Mayo
That is what I will call her.
Impertinent Vixen, thank you! and damn, that's what i thought. I would remember benicio dating this chick cos MK woud report about it and he did not. All i recall is MK announcing that kimbo was all of a sudden knocked up and del toro was the fatha. No dating, no nothing. Just a one night stand for these two.
'We are responsible for what we do unless we are celebrities.'
Was this some random drunken hook-up or were they dating? Should have used protection.
oh! i forgot about this non-pair! But the real surprise is why Puerto Rico's favorite serial killer film maker hasn't punched a sperm into spaz de la huerta. those two psychotics were made for each other
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"Let them measure my anus and see if it is dilated."
-Father Andrés García Torres, inventor of the Catholic Anus Ruler
i just can't look at this man the same way again.
im pissed i still have to share a birthday with his ass
shout out to hottwat's short story
I used to find him so cute. I bet he has an awful personality and now with all this... ugga. I'll be curious to see what their little girl looks like as she gets older.
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Visit my husband's webcomic DUNGEON HORDES at http://www.drunkduck.com/dungeon_hordes
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You're not fuckin his "awful personlity" just his huge latino cock. But that's just me. I mean I don't care if he looks like a hobbit with severe halitosis, if his peen resembles a human leg, I'm on that shit regardless!
Submitted by ImpertinentVixen on Mon, 08/22/2011 - 12:50pm.
Britt Ekland has osteoporosis?? Next you're going to tell me that Brigitte Bardot looks old and awful.
Those palimony suits rarely work out. They depend on the scorned partner's having to prove that the cheating partner promised a lifetime of support, the house, etc. The vast bulk of the cases involve an alleged oral promise (unless the cheater was dumb enough to write a note or, now, an email containing the promise). Between the drugs, drink, and passage of time, it's really hard to prove a long-ago oral promise.
Sent from my Dell PC.
Haribo, you didn't miss anything. They didn't date publically and when this news came out everyone was befuddled. I think it was a quick back alley grope and she was unfortunately ovulating. But then, he didn't wrap his rascal, neither.
They should name this Ooops Stewart Del Toro (his name always reminds me of a riding lawnmower).
~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~
Pulled from IMDB on Britt Ecklund because I was already there looking up a freaky vampire movie I watched last night (Lemora: A Child's Tale of the Supernatural, if you're interested):
I forgot she was married to Slim Jim Phantom from Stray Cats.
Spouse
Slim Jim Phantom (20 March 1984 - 1992) (divorced) 1 child
Peter Sellers (19 February 1964 - 18 December 1968) (divorced) 1 child
Trivia
Auctioned some belongings at Christies for $146,000. [December 1996]
Fractured her ankle and broke her wrist at the Kerrang! Music Awards in London when she fell as she was heading towards the stage to present the Hall of Fame award to Marilyn Manson. Osteoperosis contributed to this which she is still dealing with. [29 August 2000]
Had an affair with rocker Rod Stewart in the mid-70s, and sang French on his smash hit "Tonight's The Night". When she found out Rod was unfaithful, she filed a $12.5 million palimony suit, claiming that she gave up much of her career for him and that she deserved a large portion of Rod's income as compensation. The lawsuit was dismissed by the courts.
~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~
http://i55.tinypic.com/2dahow8.jpg
ZOMGRATS
I was thinking she kind of laid low during this pregnancy, but in reality I just don't think the paparazzi gave a shit. This is a good thing. I remember when she was hot for a second because she was friends with Paris. She's a despicable human being, her voice is manly and her face is tragic to look at.
Most random baby from a fugly celeb coupling news evah.
Call me speshul, but I get the feeling this kid is going to kick ass. I look forward to the Partying and all the cuttin up, trouble makin ahead for this baby.
i don't recall these two ever dating. seriously, i would've known cos i'm here on a daily basis. did i miss something?? or maybe kimbo just wanted to have a kid and benicio was eager to make her happy. anyone?
'We are responsible for what we do unless we are celebrities.'
@Jack, well as long as you promise there's no hair on yo back, it's not a deal breaker.
@Island Girl, I think you're right, and wasn't she previously married to Peter Sellers? Or am I confusing her with another ho? (again, too lazy to Google - ackshally, Dlisted and its comments are my Google and my source for news and all other information, which is as it should be)
Something about Benicio makes my fuck parts tingle. He looks like a nasty fuck who will stick his middle finger in your ass at a baby shower while you pregnant bff opens present of the boring as vegan cheese variety. I imagine he'd then lick his finger, press his bulge in ur ass crack, and make you come right before your lame bff opens her stupid onsies. So while everyone "oohs" and "ahha" your butthole and pussy are clenching around his fingers and your pleasure moans are mistaken for excitement for stupid ass baby presents.
HotTwat you are a poet. Thats exactly how I feel about BDT!
can two fugs make a pretty?
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"The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it." --
Roseanne Barr
G-d help this child.
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But we're never gonna survive, unless we get a little crazy
I think this is pretty sad. I actually hope that some how this kid gets the best features from both parents and turns out to be a beautiful angel. Otherwise, oh boy....
So, did she get pg on purpose? And how many men did she sleep with before it happened? Looks like he 'won' the lottery.
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"Crocs: They are to your eyes what second-hand smoke is to your lungs."
no comment on this except i think it was planned .. prob some obscure bloodline shit fuckery..
@Howdareyou -- your avie is killing me!!!! LOVEIT!!
I agree with Hekkie--after lunch I hope for some Kimtrashian news.
I still can't with this. This is just a shade above making a baby with Paris Hilton. I guess we should be grateful for that. A del Toro/Hilton baby would have been apocalyptic. Jesus would not approve!
Submitted by nunya_bizness on Mon, 08/22/2011 - 9:45am.
When it was announced that Kimbo was knocked-up by Benicio, my friend posted on fb that all the fathers of young blonds that Rod Stewart knocked-up, married and then proceeded to divorce, were clapping.
Benicio's best role:
You get a glimpse at him at 3:14 sitting on the car
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qqIIW7nxBgc&ob=av3n
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How I hate that song!
When it was announced that Kimbo was knocked-up by Benicio, my friend posted on fb that all the fathers of young blonds that Rod Stewart knocked-up, married and then proceeded to divorce, were clapping.
Benicio's best role:
You get a glimpse at him at 3:14 sitting on the car
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qqIIW7nxBgc&ob=av3n
I've been sitting here holding a wad of Kleenex up to my bloody nose reading this and between MK's post and these comments, you all aren't helping the clotting process. I did just snort something out though. In case anyone was wondering.
Submitted by Slurpee on Mon, 08/22/2011 - 8:23am.
Im sure this child will turn out very stable.
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^^^^^hahahahahaha!
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Mon, 08/22/2011 - 8:54am.
HAEY NOW
Whore.
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Oh God ,why don't you go sit under a rainbow and write a poem, Kyle.
Still don't know why in heaven's name she would actually go thru with a pregnancy from a random drug-influenced fuck in the bathroom at someone's party. Maybe she ran out of hobbies.
Submitted by islandgirl on Mon, 08/22/2011 - 8:43am.
hahaha. I'm pretty sure that's end-stage brain cancer.
Sent from my Dell PC.
Submitted by LaChaylo on Mon, 08/22/2011 - 9:05am.
Evil C,
Benicio played a sideshow freak in Big Top Pee Wee, so you may be right.
;-)
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Ahahaha! REALLY?! I had no idea.
Evil C,
Benicio played a sideshow freak in Big Top Pee Wee, so you may be right.
;-)
I heard he was weird about sex, so I'm surprised he got this ho pregnant. Ah, well, I'm sure Kim is loving the attention.
That's a big baby girl. Wow, who knew this vain girl had it in her??
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Brevity may be the soul of wit, but to twit without wit is soulless -- Johanne Savoie
agirl, I think that's Britt Eklund.
Submitted by christine the hoff on Mon, 08/22/2011 - 8:49am.
Damn it takes realz skilzz to fuck the homeless guy who hangs out at circleK.
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When Experience speaks *points to hoffer*, people listen.
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"I have no snacks for you, only death." ~ annobanano, 08/03/2011
Damn it takes realz skilzz to fuck the homeless guy who hangs out at circleK.
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Oh God ,why don't you go sit under a rainbow and write a poem, Kyle.
Sorry, EEG. hahahaaaaaa
Submitted by agirl on Mon, 08/22/2011 - 8:36am.
@Jack, hi def pics or you're lying.
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I received the following message while uploading...
"Server Error: DEAR SHIT JUST NO!"
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"I have no snacks for you, only death." ~ annobanano, 08/03/2011
thanks for making me throw up in my mouth IG. Bitch.
Submitted by RustyHooligan on Mon, 08/22/2011 - 8:38am.
Do moles also sag with age?
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Evidently not. :)
http://kitschykismet.files.wordpress.com/2011/06/mole.jpg
@Rusty, I don't think that's Alana, but I forget the name of that one and I am too lazy to Google. I am sure one of the other Dlisted heaux will know it though.
Submitted by agirl on Mon, 08/22/2011 - 8:32am.
And grandpa Rod Stewart watched, wearing this:
hahaha! Is that Alana? They both were a lot hotter back then. Now when I see Rod on TV, I just see his giant mole. Do moles also sag with age?
Sent from my Dell PC.
@Jack, hi def pics or you're lying.
Submitted by howdareyou on Mon, 08/22/2011 - 7:57am.
Maybe Alana fucked Benicio in the next room while Kim was in labor.
You have no idea how much this comment freaked me out. HA.
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You really have to side clap and pucker for a piece who can stand next to a white feather and out-gay it. - MK 8/3/2011