Hilary Duff’s Fetus Saves The Day!

August 22, 2011 / Posted by:

To me, Hilary Duff still looks like a 14-year-old child wearing a plastic cartoon chipmunk mask, so when one of the shameless butchers of Hollywood cast the walking veneers as Bonnie Parker in a remake of Bonnie & Clyde, I pretty much knew that mess was going to look like some Bugsy Malone shit. Just children playing with plastic guns. Even Faye Dunaway verbally whipped Hilary in the teefs with a wire hanger when she said that they should’ve cast a “real actress” instead. But thanks to the Canadian block of fetus meat forming in Hilary’s womb, the world has been spared from some foolish shit. TMZ reports that the producers of Bonnie & Clyde aren’t even trying to cover up Hilary’s ever growing baby pack with potted plants or briefcases, because they have dropped her on her knocked up ass.

A source says that the director and producers cut Hilary from the movie as soon as she announced that she’s pregnant. The source went on to say, “Hilary won’t be available until next June. If we could wait we would.” Kevin Zegers was supposed to play Clyde, but he’s out too due to scheduling conflicts.

TMZ points out that Hilary could pull a Hunter Tylo by throwing a lawsuit at the producers for discriminating against her fetus.

Oh, shit. I hope Hilary sues those whores for the entire budget of the movie and wins, so that they can’t cast Blake Lively as Bonnie and some little Nickelodeon asshole as Clyde. We need a movie remake of Bonnie & Clyde as much as I need a pregnant dog’s nipple in my ass. The only new version of Bonnie & Clyde I want is a one-woman one that Faye Dunaway will have to perform in the basement of a church in Queens, because she needs rent money in a bad way.

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