Even Children Know That January Jones Is An Ice Cold Ice Queen

August 22, 2011 / Posted by:

Score another point for January Jones as the Ice Cold Cunt Queen of the Century! (Heather Mills, you better peg a baby bunny in the face before JJ passes you up.) January Jones, the crab apple of my pink eye, has dared to throw hate at the human Fozzie Bear Zach Galivakankanawhatever and said that the high school girls ignored the words of Kelly LeBrock and hated JJ because she’s beautiful.

And now January’s former TV son is telling TV Guide (via Access Hollywood) in so many words that she’s about as warm as getting a crushed ice enema in the freezer room of a North Woods. This is what Jared Gilmore, who left his role on Mad Men for another show, had to say when TV Guide asked him to give some advice to the boy who will replace him as Bobby Draper:

“Be careful around January [Jones]. She’s not as approachable as the others. She’s really serious about what she does. Everyone else is so nice.”

Children are usually straight up, so when a kid thinks you’re a bitch, you’re a for real bitch from the bottom of the B to the top of the H. Add January Jones’ name to the list of things kids hate next to forest witches and sashimi. January should be proud. That’s like getting a stamp of bitch authenticity.

I can’t wait until January births out a block of ice that the doctors will have to chip at with a chisel to pull out her baby, because she’s going to be the best mother ever. And by that I mean her kid is going to write the best sequel to Mommie Dearest ever.

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