Life Would Be So Difficult For Kunty Karl If He Had An Ugly Daughter
For the new issue of Interview Magazine, Kunty Karl and the former editor of French Vogue Carine Roitfeld had a conversation that was so pretentiously narcissistic that they made Fishsticks Paltrow seem like a humble peasant who knows nothing of outdoor wood burning pizza ovens or rabbit fur tampons.
With their pristinely clean colons wrapped around their heads, Carine and Kunty Karl talked about being beyond rich (“You’re in your jet—you don’t have a grip on reality. We can lose touch with reality quite easily.) and how she was a prisoner of Vogue ( “You were literally jailed before.”), but the bitch cherry on top of the bitch sundae dropped when he went on about children.
Kunty Karl told Carine that his dead insides would die again if he had to raise a daughter who had a face like his. This is the ridiculous piece of solid gold shit that twirled off of Kunty Karl’s tongue when the subject of Carine’s chirruns came up:
“Yes, no one can say that you don’t take care of them. You’re also lucky because they are very beautiful. It would have been difficult to have an ugly daughter.
If I were a woman, I would love to have lots of kids. But for men, I don’t believe in it.”
That shit confirms that vampire zombies can’t see their own reflection in mirrors, because I love how Kunty Karl isn’t even bringing up the fact that it would be even more difficult for his daughter. Poor little bitch would shit out her heart organ every time he woke her up in the morning. A baby’s first words should not be: “DEATH DON’T TAKE ME NOW!!!”
At least town virgins with heads like the Willis daughters can sleep easy, because Kunty Karl will never appear in a cloud of Chanel No. 5 at the foot of their beds to siphon the youth out of them with his pursed lips. Kunty Karl only feeds on pretty souls, thankyouverymuch.
I swear, Kunty Karl is like if the spirit of Patsy Stone exorcised itself in the zombie body of Tom Hulce as Mozart. He just keeps getting better (read: cuntier) and better (read: cuntier) and I want more!
via HuffPo (Thanks to everybody who sent this in!)