Whiny Asshole Suing Whiny Asshole

August 20, 2011 / Posted by:

I see that Liam Gallagher of Oasis has been taking night classes at Lindsay Lohan’s School of Delusional Ass Lawsuits, because the supernova cunt is suing his own brother Noel in High Court (emphasis on “high“) for insinuating that he’s a liar all the way back in 2009. Yup, Liam’s ass can hold a grudge as well as it can hold a stick.

When Oasis pulled out of the V Festival in 2009, Noel said they did it because his dick bag of a brother was too hungover to perform. Liam asked for an apology and a retraction from Noel, but bitch didn’t get shit. So now he’s asking the court to force his brother to apologize to him. Liam’s ass lips blurted this statement out to The Sun about this waste of time lawsuit:

I HAVE taken legal action against Noel Gallagher for statements he made claiming Oasis pulled out of the 2009 V Festival Chelmsford gig because I had a hangover.

That is a lie and I want Oasis fans and others who were at V to know the truth.

I was gutted when I couldn’t play the gig because I didn’t want to let the fans down.

But the truth is I had laryngitis, which Noel was made fully aware of that morning, diagnosed by a doctor.

Noel also falsely stated the demise of Oasis followed a massive row in which he claimed I demanded to advertise my clothing range Pretty Green in the Oasis tour programme.

The truth is there was no such discussion or row between us.

I am used to being called all sorts of things by Noel and I have in the past said things about him. But what Noel has alleged this time went way beyond rock-and-roll banter and questioned my professionalism.

I tried to resolve this amicably but have been left with no choice but legal action. All I want is an apology.

This is the lawsuit equivalent of Liam twisting Noel’s right nipple while screaming out, “sayyouresorry sayyouresorry sayyouresorry.” What insufferable petty twats. This happened two years ago and let’s be real, Liam had laryngitis because it his voice box was filled booze.

The High Court should order a memaw to take both of them to a crowded department store and beat them in the asses with her pocketbook in the middle of a crowded aisle as they both let out an open-mouthed silent cry in front of everyone. That’s how the tantrums of all asshole brats should be handled.

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