Joan Collins On Fat People, Boning Warren Beatty And "Chinamen"
Disclaimer: The views, opinions or positions expressed by Joan Henrietta Collins are hers alone, and does not necessarily reflect the views, opinions, or positions of Dlisted.com even though they probably should since Joan Collins is a personal glamourssiah of Dlisted.com's, but I don't want to get my nostrils torn out by my Japanese uncle's pocket knife when I call him a "Chinaman" and I don't want my cousin to karate chop my adam's apple when I call her an "orca-sized oaf."
There's a lot of dusty opinions under Joan Collins' exquisite wig and she let some of them out when talking to the Daily Mail about her new memoirs. Joan's head is usually filled with diamond dust and champagne bubbles, but it's also filled with the image of a fat person trying to use the toilet on a plane and the image of Warren Beatty failing to make her oyster push out a pearl. Joan straightened her wig, raised her nose, pulled up her fan and let these out:
On ladies dressing like Kurt Cobain: "I don’t do grunge. Any woman over a certain age should not be grungy. You must make yourself look the way you would like the world to think about you."On how only Justin Bieber should wear a shift dress: "All women look awful in shift dresses, even Nicole Kidman. You’ve gotta be totally titless for them to work."
On still using the term "chinaman" to describe Asians: "Apparently that is rude and I am supposed to say Asian. Gah. Since when? ‘Look. I know that people will blame me for pontificating about things that an actress shouldn’t, but I have something to say, something that I think a lot of people will agree with. Things that they might be frightened to say because it is politically incorrect to do so."
On her calling fat people "orca-sized oafs from planet girth" means she hates them: ‘ "Loathe fat people? Did that come across? I certainly don’t admire them. They are digging their graves with their own teeth. I think to be terribly overweight is incredibly unhealthy. And how do they get into a tiny lavatory on a plane? I feel sorry for them, I do."
On if it's true that she and Warren Beatty wet humped each other 7 times a day: "Maybe he did, but I just lay there."
On how she was date raped by her first husband Maxwell Reed: "He took me to a place called the Country Club in Hanover Square. We walked up lots of stairs to a small, candle-lit apartment where he asked me what I wanted to drink and gave me a rum and Coke. It was a Mickey Finn. I was drugged. You must think I am a moron. Oh, this is such a horrible story. He said: 'I am going to have a bath,' which I thought was very strange. He then said: 'Take a look at this book, I think you will find it interesting.' ‘Of course, it was full of disgusting, pornographic photographs. Now, any smart girl today would have got out of there and run down those stairs faster than a speeding bullet, but not little innocent, stupid Joan Collins, who stayed there and looked at the book. The next thing I knew, I was on the sofa and that was it. Then I was throwing up into a bucket."
On politics today: "I feel very pessimistic about the world, I really do. Where are the leaders? Where is our Franklin Roosevelt, or our Winston Churchill? Maggie Thatcher and Ronald Reagan were fantastic, particularly Maggie. We haven’t got anyone like that."
Joan has more natural diva bitchiness in her 24k kunt than JLo has in her entire orca-sized oaf body. When we're all Joan's age, may we all be offensive, fuck deficient and a straight up bitch in a champagne flute like her. Joan does not even give a Crystal Carrington fuck that saying all that shit just earned her a place on the long bus ride to purgatory where she'll be surrounded by an Asian man, a fat bitch and Warren Beatty's dick.
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Submitted by The Mad Catter on Mon, 08/22/2011 - 9:00am.
I agree with you about how fat people are targeted, and I have been, much to own chagrin, guilty of cracking on fat people who get on my nerves (e.g., the woman who yelled about the horse falling in Central Park). I could have included fat/overweight people in my post, but my self-righteous fingers got tired.
True, they are "only words," but we all write here, some of us do it for a living, and many of us are readers and appreciate lyrics. We have all been moved by the power of words, which can brings us down and lift us up.
Submitted by boston61 on Sun, 08/21/2011 - 4:45pm.
Fat people are repulsive. Too thin people are sad. Stay in the middle somewhere.
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Naturally, you would say this.
ITA rusty. Anorexics are "draining our health resources" but no one has the attitude of "GROSS, get your skinny ass outta here!!!". It's "omg, poor thing!". And I'm saying this as someone who did have an eating disorder. Most people don't "hate" those who are too thin because society hasn't TOLD them to hate extreme, unhealthy thin-ness. It just pisses me off because some of the coolest people are fat, and trust me, there are usually more reasons behind the weight than an undying addiction to stuffing ons's maw with Flamin' Hot Cheetos.
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19 Cats and Counting!
THE FULL RELEASE LOOP
What the underlying loop inside all of this really is
1974 someone used satellite time and brain cephalics (same thing), to view me, in 19764
The sound of the BR
Submitted by The Mad Catter on Mon, 08/22/2011 - 8:38am.
None of this stuff excites me; I'm in the "only words" camp. But the "draining our health resources" argument is a funny one. It's completely subjective and can be used to attack anything. If you don't like abortions or HIV, for ex., you could say that they drain our health resources. Giant soft drinks? Drain our health resources. Then you hire some consulting firm to do a study with eye-popping economic costs that result from the disfavored behavior.
Sent from my Dell PC.
It's funny how some are in an uproar about her insistance upon using the word "chinamen", but have completely overlooked her hatred of fat people. Whether I agree or not, she's entitled to have her old cunt opinion on both topics. However, it shows that fat discrimination is now second nature to most. It's justified by sayings like "people have a CHOICE to be fat or thin, but no choice as to what race they are". LOL, ok, I guess that makes it acceptable to discriminate and ridicule based on looks? There"s also the classic "fatties are draining our health resources" bullshit, ANYTHING to make one seem righteous instead of a shallow asshole who just would rather not have to set their precious eyes upon a fatass. People who would shit their pants over someone using the word "retard" would probably in the same breath call
the person who said it a fat disgusting cunt if they were carrying a few extra pounds. It's just funny, the hypocrisy. Like calling someone a "chinaman" is the
height of racism, yet it's perfectly fine to let fat people know they're repulsive and have no place in society. Ooookaaaayyyy...
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19 Cats and Counting!
THE FULL RELEASE LOOP
What the underlying loop inside all of this really is
1974 someone used satellite time and brain cephalics (same thing), to view me, in 19764
The sound of the BR
I love this bitch.
And she probably was in a three way with Churchill and Roosevelt (even with his polio!). God knows Joan's old enough.
Her life is a shining example of BEING A BITCH.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
old people say what they want after a certain age, i'm sure Joan Collins feels entitled
Oh, shit. I almost spit out my juice.
"Submitted by ♀ on Sun, 08/21/2011 - 2:52pm.
LMFAO! Can you tie a cherry stem in a knot with your tongue? If so, you can probably french braid my pubes with your tongue and teefs, I think we have a match made in heaven! Free rent! Come to Jamaica, mon! ♥"
And Bjork, I completely agree with you! Very well said!
Boston...wow. If only it were that easy? I am not overweight, but...I really wish people would *think* before they say things like that. Do you not think that overweight people might feel bad enough about themselves already w.out someone calling them "repulsive"?
Fat people are repulsive. Too thin people are sad. Stay in the middle somewhere.
I am so tired of the idea that being offensive is somehow to be applauded (I know, I'm on dlsted, but bear with me). Look, I'm all for speaking one's mind, but there is also this thing called decorum, sensitivity, and common sense. So, it's politically correct, read, lame, hypocritical, liberal, etc., if I call someone from another ethnicity, race, etc., what he/she chooses to be called? You mean you expect me to think before I speak? Oh, stop being so sensitive, darky (Nigger, please. lololol. Not). Go cry in a river, kike. Toughen up, chink. Stop being a baby, faggot. Get with the program, spic... You get the picture. But hey, Joan and some others on here can go on about keeping it real, especially on a blog where we are not talking to one another face to face. Keep it real, but be prepared, in real life, for some real consequences.
Let me introduce you to Brenda, Miss Collins:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xp5si2zn6Cs&playnext=1&list=PL8853120C8C0...
(I still like Joan Collins.)
*It's one thing if you are a part of this group and have been called these names. You and others might take back the language, so to speak, diluting the hurt. I think some folks get mad because they can't say these slurs anymore, at least in public and not to the person's face. And if you don't know the history of a slur and its nuances or understand why it could be seen as offensive, then you shouldn't be using it.
Anonymouse73 on Sun, 08/21/2011 - 2:46pm.
Oh come on...just do a French braid or something.
LMFAO! Can you tie a cherry stem in a knot with your tongue? If so, you can probably french braid my pubes with your tongue and teefs, I think we have a match made in heaven! Free rent! Come to Jamaica, mon! ♥
"I'm glad my pubes ain't so plentiful. hahahaha"
lol!
Oh come on...just do a French braid or something.
Joan Collins might think she is an entitled diva, but I think she is a racist jag off. She is dissing Warren Beatty because he dumped her. Being older doesn't make nasty comments any less offensive. Piss off, Joan.
I love Joan, but her eyes are the colour of diluted shit.
(kiss this)--------------------------->>> (_!_)
nunya_bizness on Sun, 08/21/2011 - 1:20pm.
My bff is into wigs, lace fronts and weaves, I unfortunately know too much about hair. I now look at people (magazines, tv, real life) trying to figure out what's happening on their head.
How cool are YOU? LOL! I think it's really freakin' awesome that you know so much about hair, weaves and processing it and such. I have hair almost to my ankles but people STILL ask me if it's real (in real LIFE hahahaha). My mom can only grow her hair to her shoulders though and my sister and I can grow ours super long. Go figure that out genetically?
I have cut my hair back to shoulder-length a few times [sounds like shrubbery trimming lol], but, I eventually get tired of cutting it and just let it do its own thang. My hair INSISTS on being crazy long. I ain't gonna mess with what the good Lawd gave me. I'm glad my pubes ain't so plentiful. hahahaha
Submitted by ♀ on Sun, 08/21/2011 - 12:56pm.
nunya_bizness on Sun, 08/21/2011 - 9:16am.
That is Indian hair processed in Chinese factories. The front is hers, but that's a half wig in the back.
She lost me at Reagan and Thatcher.
Really? How do you see that? Usually weaves have some 'tell-tale' signs? My mom has super shiny, healthy hair for an old dame but she wore wigs ALL of the fucking time. WHY? I'll never know! haha
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My bff is into wigs, lace fronts and weaves, I unfortunately know too much about hair. I now look at people (magazines, tv, real life) trying to figure out what's happening on their head.
nunya_bizness on Sun, 08/21/2011 - 9:16am.
That is Indian hair processed in Chinese factories. The front is hers, but that's a half wig in the back.
She lost me at Reagan and Thatcher.
Really? How do you see that? Usually weaves have some 'tell-tale' signs? My mom has super shiny, healthy hair for an old dame but she wore wigs ALL of the fucking time. WHY? I'll never know! haha
Words have effects on people or else why would we use them at all? Why would there be things like propaganda if words don't have effects on people? Some words are KNOWN to be derogatory (i.e. - Chinaman). They are not subjective. We've all pretty much agreed as a society that it's a hurtful term...and I'm not sure why being mindful of that precludes also caring about things like people starving...it might not matter to you, but to the person being referred to in a derogatory way, it matters! And I'm sure they care about people starving, too!
If someone is however old this chick is, they have seen enough of the world hopefully to know what words are cool to use and which ones are derogatory. It's not a valid excuse for someone to use derogatory terms just b/c that's what they used growing up. It's called educating yourself. She knows damn well it's not a cool term, but uses it anyway. I'm all for people being out-spoken...it's why I love Aussies. They tend to tell it like it is, which is refreshing. On the other hand, there is such a thing as tact and being thoughtful.
I'm all for speaking one's mind with no b.s. but she's making the choice to be offensive with a look-at-at-me agenda. An elderly person making themselves more irrelevant by each passing day, using their age as a pass on their outdated views.
She had me up until Thatcher & Reagan. I can take cuntiness but a Republican?!
She doesn't do politically correct, so she won't mind if I call her an ignorant yid then.
"No matter how cynical you become, it's impossible to keep up." - Lily Tomlin
Warren Beatty is a homosexual - if anything, Miss Beatty and Joan were sister/beard.
As somebody astutely pointed out, "Chinamen" is not only antiquated, it's also totally fucking incorrect. A Japanese person is not from China, nor is a Korean person.
As to being "old-school" or too old to have realized that terms change, I just don't buy it anymore. My father is 71 and says the same shit. I gotta say, though, I can't extend the free pass, even to a 90-year-old. If you're using terms that aren't even borderline offensive, i.e. "colored" instead of black or African-American, "chinamen" instead of Asian, "retard", etc., you have straight up elected to ignore linguistic advances of the past 20 (I'd even say 30 or 40, in some caes) years. My father was in his forties and fifties when a lot of these terms got revisited and reads the paper every damn day - it's his choice to remain in a time machine and be offensive and, thus, I feel entirely free to side-eye him.
It's one thing if you don't want to broach that kind of thing with your elders - I can see not wanting to shout great-grandma down for advising you to "Jew somebody down", but I think great-grandma knows damn well it's an offensive thing to say.
Sarah Smile
"Asian" is equivalent to "European" by referring to similar ethnic people continentally. Perhaps you could call this "geographically correct".
Next time I see Joan I will say "hey, dago, howya doing" because everyone in Europe looks the same, right?
Nevertheless, she looks fabulous "for her age" even if her eyes are a bit too far apart.
Submitted by nunya_bizness on Sun, 08/21/2011 -
She lost me at Reagan and Thatcher.
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TRUTH. I guess she likes rich, grumpy old people who like other rich, grumpy old people like her.
JESUS, TAKE THE WHEEL! This old bitch is as HOT as they come!
--------------------------------------
19 Cats and Counting!
THE FULL RELEASE LOOP
What the underlying loop inside all of this really is
1974 someone used satellite time and brain cephalics (same thing), to view me, in 19764
The sound of the BR
Submitted by ♀ on Sun, 08/21/2011 - 7:11am.
She has amazingly healthy hair for an old dame.
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That is Indian hair processed in Chinese factories. The front is hers, but that's a half wig in the back.
She lost me at Reagan and Thatcher.
I love her. It's refreshing to hear someone without a filter.
Everyone has opinions they feel are sacred yet everyone gets offended when someone else expresses his/her opinions. The world ain't perfect, people, and the key is to know yourself enough not to give a shit about the words people use to express themselves. Do we really care what Joan Collins thinks? Uh, I don't. Political correctness has gotten to a laughable, pathetic level so just get over it and move on.
She has amazingly healthy hair for an old dame.
Bless her kunty heart!
Those ruffles! Those ruffles!!!!!!!!
That's not Liza Minelli ?? *blinks*
"Submitted by Defined1 on Sun, 08/21/2011 - 4:37am.
I'm supposed to congratulate this bitch because she's old and doesn't give a shit.
"
Seriously. There is nothing admirable about this woman at all. She's a proud bigot and racist and just because she's fucking old and rich doesn't mean people should give her a pass on that shit.
Submitted by RustyHooligan on Sat, 08/20/2011 - 7:50pm.
Submitted by joe shmoe on Sat, 08/20/2011 - 7:23pm.
I loves me some Joan but I read all this stuff 20 years ago, in her (first?) memoir. It was pretty good reading.
Perhaps, but pales in comparison to a live impression of Joan
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*lighting my ciggie in my daimante cigarette holder and blowing smoke in Rusty's face* *a lot of smoke*
No idea what you mean, dahhhling.
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Fuck avacados and fuck that king too!!~ christine the hoff.
I'm supposed to congratulate this bitch because she's old and doesn't give a shit. I used to work in a care home and there were a lot of elderly people who went out of their way not to offend the carers who came from various backgrounds. I also hate the stupid bitches who scream 'political correctness' every time someone chastises them for their rude remarks.
There are a lot of young people out there who are being raised to be sexist, racist or critical of fat people. But if they made comments like this, everyone would be tearing them apart. These comments would not be tolerated if they came from a young actress. The Mila Kunis post springs to mind. Exceptions shouldn't be made for cantankerous old people.
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It's not that serious.
Regardless of her points of view on ppl and other things, I never liked her and I dont see a reason why should I. The pot calls the kettle black - when did she last take a look at herself in the mirror? My ass hair has more talent than she has. Just another Hollyweird 'ho who thinks she's interesting because she got old and had a "career".
The same people who complain about political correctness are the same people who call the wahbulance when they're called out for saying something stupid.
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"Do I have to chop off my legs, install hard cutlets into my chest and learn Elvish in order to get some hot dick?"-MK
Submitted by TimC on Sun, 08/21/2011 - 12:06am.
Talking about Asian people as yellow-skinned and slanty-eyed sounds just as retarded, my dear.
♩♪♫♬♩♪♫♬♩♪♫♬♩♪♫♬♩♪♫♬♩♪♫♬♩♪♫♬
Rrridiaouw woo oo rrri-ou!
She thinks Reagan was a fantastic leader? Poor old hag has been sniffing glue.
Oh God, I love old people. Joan just doesn't give a shit. I wish there were more old celebrities to bring the crazy like this. Most of the young ones bore me.
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I like living this way. I like loving this way.
Submitted by becky n sydney on Sun, 08/21/2011 - 12:50am.
I've got a soft spot for Joan, she voices the same pre-war prejudices and political views of my parents (not correct, just identical). I can see Joan and my mother delightedly engaging in hat and glove chitchat over scones and tea. The tea would, of course, be well brewed to cleanse it of any nasty germs it may have picked up from foreign fingers. (Whenever my mother bought any new piece of china or a knick-knack, she would rush to the kitchen sink and scald it in boiling water to rid it of any imprints from foreign fingers. And yes, the phrase "foreign fingers" is now a family joke.)
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It must be the age thing. My mother is 70, and she is the same way. My bro & I call her Archiletta Bunker. Do not get her started on the foreigners taking American jobs, or all the cheap China made stuff that is infiltrating the market. She says the Chinese are sending cheap shoes over here to make our feet hurt, and to ultimately defeat us. She was born in ride-the-back- of-the-bus Louisiana, but sometimes the stuff she says, I'm looking for the sheet.
And I love foreign fingers. I'll have to borrow.
Submitted by spankypants on Sat, 08/20/2011 - 9:51pm
I'm black and very light skinned. I don't try to pass for white and couldn't if I wanted to, but ancient black ladies tend to say things like, "So, what are you anyway?" As a child, I had a Jewish little girl ask me, "what I was" because her father couldn't tell and if I was black she couldn't play with me anymore. I'm a human being people!
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Ignorance knows no bounds. When my daughter was a baby, she looked white. I am very dark skinned. We were shopping in the mall, and this chick walked up to me and said, "your baby daddy white?" Um, do I know you? Who walks up to a total stranger and asks that? An ignorant person, that's who. For the record, my baby daddy is biracial, lol.
My daughter had a similar experience like yours when she was about 4. She wanted to play with a little girl, but the little girl wouldn't play with her because she was brown. That hurt me so bad. It took a long time for her to get over it. I shouldn't be surprised, but it amazed me at the time that people can be so hateful as to fill an innocent child up with hate. I always said I hope that little witch grows up and has a couple brown babies--that'll teach her parents for being racist asses.
Submitted by GlitterKitty on Sun, 08/21/2011 - 1:27am.
Hahaha! You're right!
*facepalm*
Submitted by becky n sydney on Sat, 08/20/2011 - 11:36pm.
Joan married her date-raper?
There were some unusual mating rituals under the Thatcher regime.
Can't imagine spineless Dennis touching up Maggie without written consent and seven days notice.
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Ehm this was the 60s Thatcher the 80s... 20yrs apart. I like Joan. For all her shite, she isn't bland. Soon we will just have bland celebs....
Good lord, she was date raped by that guy and then she married him? Holy crap, what a freak. The '60s were strange days indeed.
I can kind of see what she means, in her cunty way. I'm half-Asian and when I was a kid the term "Oriental" was not considered offensive. "Asian" is a relatively new term, though who knows what we will call Asians in the future...especially since some Asian-looking folks aren't even from that continent.
Btw, I'm also half Mexican but not crazy about the term Latino. Sounds pretentious, like you're trying to sound spicy and shit.
I've got a soft spot for Joan, she voices the same pre-war prejudices and political views of my parents (not correct, just identical). I can see Joan and my mother delightedly engaging in hat and glove chitchat over scones and tea. The tea would, of course, be well brewed to cleanse it of any nasty germs it may have picked up from foreign fingers. (Whenever my mother bought any new piece of china or a knick-knack, she would rush to the kitchen sink and scald it in boiling water to rid it of any imprints from foreign fingers. And yes, the phrase "foreign fingers" is now a family joke.)
Joan and I also share matching over-plucked, slighly wonky eyebrows. (Can't believe I'm admitting this within earshot of eyebrow worshipping aficionado, MK.) But yes, my brows haven't been entirely on speaking terms since the seventies. Buggers won't grow back now for re-landscaping, I've been relentlessly weeding them for too many years. Can you buy brow merkins? Joan and I could pop on our Venetian kidskin gloves and Philip Treacy fascinators and go shopping together. :)
Submitted by TimC on Sun, 08/21/2011 - 12:06am.
I think she knows that. She was making a language point.
Submitted by agirl on Sat, 08/20/2011 - 10:44pm.
How come it's OK to say 'Englishmen' and 'Frenchmen' but not Chinamen?
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Well, retard (if I may engage in some unPC terminology), it's a bit antiquated to call people from China Chinamen instead of Chinese. But it's quite another thing to call the Koreans, Japanese, Vietnamese and everyone else in Asia with yellow skin and slanty eyes Chinamen. The same way the Irish, Scottish Welsh and Americans might get offended by being called Englishmen or English.
Joan married her date-raper?
There were some unusual mating rituals under the Thatcher regime.
Can't imagine spineless Dennis touching up Maggie without written consent and seven days notice.
Submitted by RustyHooligan on Sat, 08/20/2011 - 10:49pm.
...And what about "boogeymen"?
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You have just been reported as a racist by the NAAB (National Association for the Advancement of Boogeymen).
And why no "boogeywomen"?
SEXIST REPORTED!!!!!!!!!!!