QOTD: The Terror Will Never End

August 19, 2011 / Posted by:

Since SATC2: Dry Vaginas in the Desert was such a critically acclaimed masterpiece that won several Oscars and was called a cinematic wonder that film historians will continue to study for centuries to come, Sarah Jessica Parker and Michael Patrick King are talking about making a third one. And they’ve already come up with the storyline. There has to be a better way for those whores to stuff more millions of dollars into their feed bags without terrorizing the public’s senses, right? I fucking guess not, because SJP said this to Parade Magazine (via HuffPo) when she was asked if there were any plans for her to pull out her Louis Vuitton whip and beat that dead horse again (insert “horse beating a dead horse” meta joke here):

“There is. I know what the story is. It’s a small story, but I think it should be told. The question is, what’s the right time to tell it?”

I’ve said before that SATC3 should be the pilot episode of the Golden Girls, but I’ve changed my mind. Those four shaved and embalmed hyenas in $1600 shoes are far from the Golden Girls. SJP ripped out all those characters’ hearts and nibbled on their souls, so they’re basically just zombies now. Zombies in the City! George Romero should direct that shit.

The only story there is to tell is the one where Rojo Caliente acts for the people by locking those three hags (Mrs. Rojo is excused) in a tomb and lets them nag each other’s faces off while she sits on a folding chair, slowly eating Red Hots in front of the camera for 120 minutes. SATC3: Rojo’s Revolt, that’s the only shit I want to see.

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