The Photoshop Awards: Kelly Bensimon On Shape Magazine

If the Mayans are right and 2012 is the year of We're Fucked, then that means 2011 is the year of Fuck It which makes sense when you look at this cover of The Real Housewives of NYC's Kelly Benismon on September's Shape Magazine. Yes, THAT Kelly Bensimon. The Kelly Bensimon who really looks like a water-damaged leather duffel bag handle with tits that are slowly starting to migrate to her back so that they can slide down and escape out of her asshole. Shape Magazine didn't even try to make that ho on the cover look like Kelly Bensimon. Bitches used the hell out of the Honey Badger tool on Photoshop!

You know, I take it back. This isn't the work of Photoshop. This is the work of copy + Elmer's. The body, the face, the earrings and the hair are all strangers to each other and were forced together in a nightmare land. This is basically the Breakfast Club of magazine covers. I've seen badly cut out paper dolls that look more human than this.

And Kelly told Shape (via Radar) that despite the rumors that the bad shit has eaten the sanity out of her brains, she's completely drug-free:

“My body is like a Ferrari. I know what it needs to run well — and that doesn’t include drugs, alcohol, or cigarettes.”

A Ferrari? HO STOP. More like the torn out leather seat of a broken Ferrari that has been left out in the middle of a junkyard for the pit bulls to chew at.

Here's Kelly working her real body last March in a photo shoot for Abs of Meth.

Splash

Posted by: Michael K

•

Submitted by Lisa Addison on Mon, 12/26/2011 - 1:15am.

Hello, Would it be possible to make use of this great write-up on my site? I would naturally backlink back to you. Hey! Its like you read my mind! You seem to know so much about this, like you wrote the book in it or something. I had to sort through a lots of comments, however I absolutely enjoyed your post. I appreciate the thought you put in to it.
joint md , Size 0 , Revivex , Acai Cleanse , SlimQuick , Size 0 , TestoRipped ,Revivex .

Submitted by Sara Biston on Mon, 12/19/2011 - 4:43am.

I must say this is quite interesting Information. From a very long time i was searching for this type of blog.
I am looking forward to more such posts in future. Thanks for sharing.

Submitted by Lisa Addison on Sat, 12/17/2011 - 1:16am.

I must say, youve got one of the best blogs Ive seen in a long time. What I wouldnt give to be able to create a blog thats as interesting as this. I guess Ill just have to keep reading yours and hope that one day I can write on a subject with as much knowledge as youve got on this one!

JointEase , Joint Guard , detox 7 , colon blow , bowtrol , apidexin , bioslim , capsiplex , cylaris .

Submitted by geneknoez on Sat, 12/03/2011 - 5:23pm.

After research just a few of the blog posts on your website now, and I truly like your manner of blogging. I bookmarked it to my bookmark website listing and can be checking back soon. Pls check out my website online as effectively and let me know what you think.
Empower network seal cash advance online euphoriant fast cash advance osteochondroses

Submitted by melvinkib on Thu, 11/24/2011 - 4:12pm.

When I initially commented I clicked the -Notify me when new comments are added- checkbox and now every time a remark is added I get 4 emails with the same comment. Is there any method you possibly can take away me from that service? Thanks!
purchase xanax pills Cloture ms treament dosage clonazepam klonopin massiness buy propecia online without prescription hierarchism

Submitted by CarrieOn on Sun, 08/21/2011 - 3:53pm.

The worst part is the forehead. You can tell the facial features and ears do not match anything else on the head.

They gave her a waistline, though.

Submitted by boston61 on Fri, 08/19/2011 - 10:13pm.

Anyone who survives that sick sadist Bethenny Frankel deserves some respect.

Submitted by LisaH on Fri, 08/19/2011 - 6:33pm.

that is not her body or her face. magazine should be ashamed of themselves. and she is one woman who never should wear a 2 piece, let alone a bikini, but she is totally delusional.

Submitted by dbella on Fri, 08/19/2011 - 6:31pm.

They stole Debra Messing's head and put it on someone else's body because that looks nothing like Kelly Benpsycho

Edited to say that she has old modeling photos of herself on her website. What a pity. She used to be quite lovely (and I imagine somewhat saner than she is now).

Submitted by caprica six on Fri, 08/19/2011 - 5:57pm.

Why even have eyes and a belief system anymore? Everygoddamnthing is photoshopped now. I should photoshop a doctorate degree in bitchery. No one would suspect a thing. Christ. *smh*
_____
"You dumb bitch, I am home." -MK to Brooke's crybaby 'daddy-puts-the-lotion' ass

Submitted by johnnysgirl on Fri, 08/19/2011 - 5:54pm.

Serious fuckery.

Submitted by Stan Dup on Fri, 08/19/2011 - 5:16pm.

She looks like an IHOP breakfast gone bad.

Submitted by Red Dwarf on Fri, 08/19/2011 - 4:56pm.

LOL @ the photoshop fail! Skin tone doesn't match, and the pinhead is ill-proportioned to the stand-in's body.
Shape need to invest in a software upgrade.

Submitted by NDNchief on Fri, 08/19/2011 - 4:49pm.

"Revenge is sweet and not fattening"
-Alfred Hitchcock-

I got to thumb 3 and gagged. That ass is mangled and all sorts of I can't. I don't even know who she is cuz i don't watch any of TRHofWhatever, except the Miami one. I watch the Miami one to watch Larsa act all perfect while her husband cheats on her all the time.

Submitted by scisan60 on Fri, 08/19/2011 - 4:47pm.

My 2pm Beef Jerky treat looks better than this old chicks bod....and it doesnt have an annoying voice either.

Submitted by not shocked on Fri, 08/19/2011 - 4:40pm.

seriously that is a lookalike model, no effin way is that her

Submitted by Sugartits on Fri, 08/19/2011 - 4:22pm.

I havent' seen a body this mangled since Courtney Love was last traipsing around in a bikini.

__________________________________________________

Buy the ticket, take the ride. ~ Hunter S. Thompson

Submitted by SANS FARDS on Fri, 08/19/2011 - 3:28pm.

damn, double post.

Submitted by SANS FARDS on Fri, 08/19/2011 - 3:27pm.

This is some scary-ass Japanese robot Final Fantasy shit.

Submitted by SANS FARDS on Fri, 08/19/2011 - 3:25pm.

This is some scary-ass Japanese robot Final Fantasy shit.

Submitted by azgirl on Fri, 08/19/2011 - 3:18pm.

You cannot be "Hot at 43" when you are photoshopped to look like someone else in their 20's. Major fail Shape mag.

Submitted by squiggles on Fri, 08/19/2011 - 3:08pm.

The body clearly isn't hers....but my god, the FACE?! Looks like a 20 yr. old's with only theee vaguest resemblance. Absurd. If I had twitter, I'd cyberbully her w/ mean tweets. You know those rhony bitches' gums will be a-flapping about this shiz.

Submitted by kayray on Fri, 08/19/2011 - 2:20pm.

That woman is ugly and needs to wear a one piece.

Submitted by hotpocket on Fri, 08/19/2011 - 1:22pm.

This plastic surgery abomination is on the cover of a fitness magazine. I've never read Shape, must have a bunch of ads for boob jobs and cheap liposuction by third world surgeons.

Submitted by femguide on Fri, 08/19/2011 - 12:57pm.

This is just ridiculous. That photo looks nothing like her body.

"hot at 43" is a lie they are telling women, so that women feel fucking inferior and perpetually feel the need to live up to some illusion of "hot at 43".

** http://feministguidetohollywood.blogspot.com **

Submitted by Nanners on Fri, 08/19/2011 - 12:25pm.

Even M&F Hers sucks now. Hunt down these mags:

Bodyfit

Health and Fitness

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What kind of fuckery is this?

Submitted by almostfamous88 on Fri, 08/19/2011 - 12:22pm.

she normally looks like a post-op tranny, this is not her face....bitch is typical skinny/fat all covered in cheese but can fit a size 0-2...I'd take a firm and sexy size 6 any day over this muscle less POS saggy ass

Submitted by babybunny on Fri, 08/19/2011 - 11:59am.

that is soo not Kelly's body or Kelly's face I mean major WTF going on all over this photo. Kelly's body is disgusting and leathery and squarer than Sponge Bob's with no boobies whatsoever..shame on Shape for thinking they are pulling a fast one...Kelly is hideous all the way around!!

Submitted by Lemonaide on Fri, 08/19/2011 - 11:45am.

Submitted by miz cynical on Fri, 08/19/2011 - 10:28am.

Ugh. This shit may make me cancel my subscription! Not only should she not be on the front cover 'cause so few people know who she is (RHONYC junkies like me); but we've also seen enough photos of her on places like Dlisted to know that it looks FUCKED UP in photographs & anything showing otherwise has been Photoshopped to hell. If anything, this cover just proves to their readers, if this chick is Photoshopped, how what have they done to their other cover models. Didn't they also put Kim K on their cover?

There's NO WAY I aspire to look like Kelly! I may have a flat booty, not so flat tummy, but at least I look like a woman & not some linebacker made of leather lady/man. Her skin & hair are awful, too. Nice try, Shape.
--------------------------------------------------

I was so pissed about it that I tweeted SHAPE that I wouldn't be buying their mag again. Her body looks nothing like that. It's freakishly ropey, brown, wrinkly and disgusting. It's a fitness magazine and she is giving fitness advice? Puhleeze. All I have to do to look like Krazy Kelly is roast in the sun, starve and become a Meth head. Even then, I might not look as bad as she does. Her tranny shape is all natural.

Submitted by P.T.Bull on Fri, 08/19/2011 - 11:33am.

First of all, shape has stock photos of three or four women and just puts different celebrity heads on them for each issue. I know this because I read it in the grocery checkout line.

Secondly, where did they get late 1970s pictures of Steve Tyler of Aerosmith on a beach?

Submitted by vidz on Fri, 08/19/2011 - 10:58am.

OMG she looks so soft and pretty. I hate this. I wish I was rich enough to have a hollywood level photoshoot and photoshop done. I'm very curious to see how I'd look.

Btw, if anybody is interested, the Frances Bean pic was really bothering me. I kept thinking that the pic looked like a real life person who actually looks like that in person. It finally struck me, her name is Marika Dominczyk and she's married to one of my celeb crushes, Scott Foley.

http://profile.ak.fbcdn.net/hprofile-ak-snc4/50236_57685881208_8368_n.jp...

http://ia.media-imdb.com/images/M/MV5BMTI2NjI1NzIzMV5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwND...

@evil cupcake

Do you know that there's a Hannah Montada (who creepily really does look like her) and I know ( don't ask me how) that the girl in the SUGAR DVD ad is pornstar Natasha Nice.

*****************************************************

"Never ascribe to malice that which can adequately be explained by incompetence."
- Napoleon Bonaparte (1769-1821)

Submitted by stepha on Fri, 08/19/2011 - 10:09am.

I actually look hotter in a bikini at almost 6 months pregnant. I'm no ferrari!

Submitted by Athina on Fri, 08/19/2011 - 10:03am.

Honest to God...I'm canceling my subscription to Shape TODAY. I'm an avid runner and I have enjoyed the magazine for years, but this is beyond ridiculous. Shape is supposed to support healthy women, healthy self-images and a healthy lifestyle, not fucking plastic-surgeried, mummified anorexic psychos.

Submitted by boston61 on Fri, 08/19/2011 - 9:55am.

Bethenny Frankel almost caused this woman to kill herself.

Submitted by Mrs. Voorhees on Fri, 08/19/2011 - 9:54am.

Even Russell Armstrong would've made a better cover model than this.

Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Fri, 08/19/2011 - 9:53am.

Submitted by sinjin on Fri, 08/19/2011 - 11:21am.
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake: Well aren't you fancy with your "Alden Brown". You think I am not up on my porn star trivia/knowledge?!
________________________________________________
OMG, I was thinking ALTON Brown, the Good Eats host, lol, so I was all "WTF are they talking about?!? Alton does PORN?!?

*******************************

OH HELL! ROFLMAO! Now that would be something, Alton Brown in porn. Hahahahahaha! Thanks for the laugh!

Submitted by sinjin on Fri, 08/19/2011 - 9:51am.

Submitted by Evil_Cupcake: Well aren't you fancy with your "Alden Brown". You think I am not up on my porn star trivia/knowledge?!
________________________________________________
OMG, I was thinking ALTON Brown, the Good Eats host, lol, so I was all "WTF are they talking about?!? Alton does PORN?!?

***********************************************
"You're ugly and your fucking bag is ugly too."--John Galliano (allegedly)

Submitted by halojones on Fri, 08/19/2011 - 9:45am.

Iggy Pop is her body twin, all that fucked up leathery skin pulled tightly over muscley gristle with a weird shaped torso. Do a side by side Michael K!

Submitted by Royal Kant on Fri, 08/19/2011 - 9:39am.

I swear Shape Magazine is the Cosmo of women's fitness mags

Submitted by Dog on Fri, 08/19/2011 - 9:25am.

Oh shit. I just noticed her ass. It looks like a couple of yams with a string in the middle.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
www.charitywater.org

www.animalrescuesite.com

www.modestneeds.org

Submitted by MardiGras on Fri, 08/19/2011 - 9:25am.

I would be so humiliated if I were on the cover of a fitness mag and they used someone else's body because mine wasn't good enough.

Submitted by Nanners on Fri, 08/19/2011 - 9:20am.

I can't stand Shape magazine. It's bloody depressing. Read UK fitness magazines instead for good information about exercising without the guilt.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What kind of fuckery is this?

Submitted by cprincess on Fri, 08/19/2011 - 9:15am.

Im speechless..
it looks nothing like her and as for the ferrari comment -yeah MK-left in the junk yard for the pit bulls to chew on is right……….

"NOSOPD -Not our sort of person darling"

Submitted by Dog on Fri, 08/19/2011 - 9:14am.

If I was famous, I wouldn't let anyone photoshop me. Can you imagine what would happen when people saw you in person? "Oh my God, you are so ugly! Look at those zits! And your nose is shaped like a butternut squash! And guuuurl, don't even get me started on those crows feet!"

Um, no thanks.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
www.charitywater.org

www.animalrescuesite.com

www.modestneeds.org