Open Post: Hosted By The Lifelike Prince William & Duchess Kate Dolls

August 19, 2011 / Posted by:

British toy store Hamleys reached into the depths of Team America hell and pulled out these terrifying dolls of Prince William and Duchess Kate. They nailed it! The Prince William doll looks like a nutcracker that can crack a walnut without even opening its mouth gate of big ass teefs. Just put a nut up to that doll and it will crack itself.

The Kate Middleton doll is an act of terror and I feel like I should flip up her head to pull out a PEZ tab of nightmares. I’d rather spoon with Leech Woman from Puppetmaster than that dream-killing Duchess Kate doll. That Kate Middleton doll would just stare at you with those raccoon eyes all night and waitwaitwaitwaitwait until you finally scream out, “Okay, I’ll fucking marry you! You win!”

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