How Dare Anthony Bourdain Insult The Deep Fried Butter Queen Of America!
Anthony Bourdain of No Reservations seems like a kinky motherfucker who will handcuff you to his Waterworks kitchen faucet and smear your body with melted butter made from the milk of rare miniature cows imported from Holland, but butter will never melt for him again now that he has verbally thrown a ham at Paula Deen's face. Anthony took a break from eating panda brain burgers and capybara nipple pasta to cross his legs, purse his lips and get Paltrow-like on the kids in the cafeteria who buy lunch every day.
Anthony had some real shit to say to TV Guide about Paula, Rachael Ray, Drunk Ass Sandra Lee and Guy Fieri (government name: Heat Miser):
“The worst, most dangerous person to America is clearly Paula Deen. She revels in unholy connections with evil corporations and she’s proud of the fact that her food is fucking bad for you . . . plus, her food sucks.” About Ray: “Does she even cook anymore? . . . To her credit, she never said she was good at it.” On Lee: “I hate her works on this planet, but she is not someone to be dismissed, clearly.” And Fieri: “I look at Guy and I just think, ‘Jesus, I’m glad that’s not me.’ ”
Anthony can keep spitting out hate balls of cuntness at Rachael Ray since she's about as annoying as a dizzy dick who keeps hitting your taint instead of your sex hole. Sandra Lee can't hear what Anthony is saying about her since she's passed out head first in a punch bowl full of cooking wine, melted orange Popsicles and Fiesta Punch Shasta (aka chilled fizzy sangria). Guy Fieri, who cares about his ass. But Paula Deeeeeeeen?!!!!? Yes, a pacemaker shows up at my front door every time I see Paula make something like funnel cake grilled cheese, but she IS America. Paula's hair is the shade of a bald eagle's tear and she squirts out Ranch dressing (the official food of America)! Paula Deen is dangerous, alright. Dangerously delicious!
Paula pulled out her butter bat and hit back at the pretension shit Anthony launched out of his mouth. Paula told Page Six:
“Anthony Bourdain needs to get a life. You don’t have to like my food, or Rachael’s, Sandra’s and Guy’s. But it’s another thing to attack our character. I wake up every morning happy for where I am in life. It’s not all about the cooking, but the fact that I can contribute by using my influence to help people all over the country. In the last two years, my partners and I have fed more than 10 million hungry people by bringing meat to food banks.My good friends Rachael, Guy and Sandra are the most generous charitable folks I know. They give so much of their time and money to help the food-deprived, sick children and abandoned animals. I have no idea what Anthony has done to contribute besides being irritable.”
You know, not everybody can afford to pay $58 for prime rib or $650 for a bottle of wine. My friends and I cook for regular families who worry about feeding their kids and paying the bills . . . It wasn’t that long ago that I was struggling to feed my family, too.”
I think what Paula really means is that her butter elves are currently trying to lure Anthony into her heart attack factory using Siberian tiger steaks. Don't be surprised if on the next episode of Paula's Home Cooking, you see her making double deep fried Bourdain butt cheeks with a candy apple butter sauce. "Cannibalism never tasted so good, y'all!"
Anthony really needs to stop being such a fancy queen. You know he'd down low nibble on Paula's butter crumble muffin if she served one up to him.
@Christine the Hoff, yes I hate that about Paula, I dont think that is appealing her licking her fingers, disgusting, gross old bitch. Rich old bitch, but still a nast.
I want to fuck Bourdain and Richie Wakile of the RHONJ in a double penetration till I cant see or breathe anymore. Ive been fantasizing about Bourdain in his dirty cowboy boots and cigarette breathe for years now, and this season I found Richie <3<3<3
Ugh, whatever. I appreciate sarcasm and "humor" as much as the next person. I just find it annoying that Bourdain seems to have this innate awareness of how "cool" he is. I didn't say anything about his humor. Those of us who don't like him aren't all dumb plebs who just don't understand. It's nice seeing food in other countries through the eyes of someone who has better connections (as in, we're not just seeing the most talked-up tourist traps), but I won't concede that Bourdain isn't obnoxious most of the time.
And I'm not defending either side. Food Network can be just as noxious, just in a more saccharin way. But there are plenty of other shows and chefs aside from them who are worth watching.
Anthony Bourdain is incredibly entertaining and knowledgeable. His show is one of the best on TV. If you don't GET his sarcasm and humor, then DON'T watch it. Bourdain doesn't really cook on his show either. What he does is invite us in to see different countries and cultures the way you probably never will. His take on things is very New York/Manhattan, if you call that pretentious or arrogant then the humor is lost on you. His other talent is his writing which is why his show is so geniously narrated by him. His knocks of other chefs/cooks/whatever are few but effing hysterical. Watch the rest if lowered expectations and bad food and conversation are your thing. too bad.
Submitted by bornagainChristian on Sat, 08/20/2011 - 8:47pm.
Bourdain doesn't really cook on his show either. What he does is invite us in to see different countries and cultures the way you probably never will. His take on things is very New York/Manhattan, if you call that pretentious or arrogant then the humor is lost on you.
------------------------------
Exactly! I just don't see how a man who will sit down in a mud hut among some of the poorest people on earth and share a meal of goat intestines with them and eat what is offered without hesitation because he appreciates that he's being given the very best they have can be called arrogant. I don't see how a person who will choose to eat something most of us would find disgusting so as to not offend his hosts can be pretentious. To each his own I suppose but as I share his passion for a well roasted and crispy piglet, I can't help but LOVE the man.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
"How nice, to feel nothing, and still get full credit for being alive."
- Kurt Vonnegut, Slaughterhouse-Five
Anthony Bourdain is a pompous asshole. No offense to the poster before, but I don't know how ANYONE can say he's not pretentious. The dude is clearly super self-absorbed and thinks he's cool shit. I'd watch his show if he weren't so damn obnoxious, and his blog is just as bad.
Food Network personalities are easy pickin's. They're all irritating in their own way. So much of the material for the shows is just fabrications, too.
But Bourdain is just on the goddamn Travel Channel. Anyway, I think it's probably a testament to his shitty personality that we don't actually have the privilege of watching him show us how to cook food. I'm sure he could make some decent dishes, but I wouldn't want to listen to him while he did it (probably knocking cigarette ashes into shit and swilling wine all the while).
I'm not that big of a fan of Bourdain, just because he doesn't seem interesting enough to me. I've seen a few of Paula's shows, and for the most part they alright, but not interesting enough to watch on a regular basis. The shows I use to like to watch were the shows like, The Iron Chef. The original Iron Chef, not the Iron Chef America, bullshit. I also liked to watch shows like good eats with Alton Brown and that one show with Marc Summers. They also had this one show where the dude would make low fat substitutes of otherwise fattier foods, and I remember I made one of the recipes he featured, and it was delicious, it was like, some craisin oatmeal like cookie and some low-fat frozen vanilla yogurt sandwhiched in the middle of the two of them. It was DEEEELICIOUS...
I also use to watch Essence Of Emeril. Everyone else on that show is just Meh. I haven't watched the food network in a minute...
Someone mentioned Jamie Oliver, and I can't with Jamie Oliver. The teef, the lisp, and the fact that he had a show called the naked chef, and was never naked in it, it was about the "bare essentials" of food, or some shit, FUCK THAT! Bare them Nalgas or change the title.
I also like Tyler Florence...Anypoo...Paula seems more pleasant and the places she cooks or goes, seems like places that would seem pleasant for a family vacation, instead of the places Anthony goes. And it's not her fault, that people are fat. Has this asshole never heard of MickyDs? Burgerking? Wendy's? Tacobell and the various other places that have more IMPACT on how people eat than Paula's show? And if he's chain smoking and drinking excessively like other's said, he really needs to get real. Saying what you want because you can, doesn't mean you should, especially when what you say, warrants you to look at own yourself in the mirror first.
__________________________________
Angels say they can make you suffer.They give and take like a vicious lover .When all this loses meaning, You'll never want it back somehow"-Neverending White Lights (The Grace)
Submitted by Cara on Fri, 08/19/2011 - 4:08pm.
LoL nice, I love me some Bourdain. And if he pisses off asshole trolls like Poopele, even better. Go Tony!
=============
Ditto on all three sentences.
I love Nigella. And she has survived all kinds of terrible tragedy in her life. She is so cool. Paula just has zero class. She is a slob.
Hmmmm - I hear a lot of people saying things like "I love Anthony Bourdain, he speaks his mind" or "he's a mean cunt and I love him for it" but I don't see him that way at all. I watched about 2 episodes of No Reservations, and that was all I could stand. All I got from it was, here's some malcontent who has a show about COMPLAINING. He hardly ever talked about food - he mostly just bitched and griped, and whined about how he had to make his producers happy. And in between his rants he smoked and drank. I remember thinking "What a prize - I feel sorry for the people who have to deal with him on a daily basis. I'll bet he reeks too."
He's an incessantly whining little pussy man - like a butthurt little punk teenager who thinks he knows everything, and can't resist sass-talking everyone. Grow up, Bourdain.
"My favorite episode of "No Reservations" when Bourdain's Italian wife was on, she clearly wears the pants in the family...she would cut off his nuts & serve them with tartar sauce!"
I get so excited whenever his wife is on because she suffers no fool gladly, including her husband. I love the Rome episode where she's all 'Oh yeah, your life sucks so much. You should should pack this all in and go back to washing dishes.' HA! Love her. I weirdly also love the fact that she's age-appropriate for him (He's 50 and I'm guessing she's in her early 40s). Hot Slut of the Day material for sure.
I also think his beef really isn't with the fact that Deen's food is bad for you, but more that Deen/Ray/Fiori are all corporate shills. I realize that he's at the mercy of sponsor as well due to his show, but I get what he's saying.
-----
If love had a dick I would eff with it. But it doesn't (it has a no crotch like Barbie).
I forgot to add, Andrew Zimmern is the one who purposely eats strange things like semen stuffed bear steak or a sheep eyeball that he himself sucked out of the still living eye-socket which he chased with a mouth full of liquefied fat from a pig mixed with cow piss.
All I know is he didn't mention Nigella. Because she'd throw a side-eye and stomp his ass flat.
Anthony Bourdain is a malcontented misanthrope and I personally fucking love him for it. Maybe it's the New Englander in me, but I'll take a brutually honest, demanding prick over an insincere smiling assassin any day. I see right the fuck through Paula Deen's facade.
Also as a regular viewer of Bourdain's show, I really feel the need to defend him. 1. He loves himself nothing more than a blue-collar peasant dish and 2. He loves the ever loving shit out of pork, bacon and butter. Paula shouldn't get so shirty, he talks shit about EVERYONE.
"Joe Bastianich is my new fave cunty McCunt, he even beats Gordo because he doesn't throw tantrums, he destroys you with a side eye! "
Is he Lidia's son (or hubs maybe)? Anyway, her 'Lidia Bastianich's Italian American Kitchen' is the best cookbook ever. Seriously.
----
If love had a dick I would eff with it. But it doesn't (it has a no crotch like Barbie).
i hope he chokes on some tuna taco.. PAULA DEEN is the best thing to happen to food EVAH!!!!
xoxox
The war isn't working.
Haha, I made a Paula Deen recipe today and it literally called for a POUND of butter.
Educate yourself on the badass, not-fuck-giving honeybadger, Olivia! ~MK
ITA with everyone who says that Paula Deens is not to blame for the obesity epidemic! I've never cooked any of her stuff, yet, but it looks delicious but it's obvious to me that I won' be eating that stuff that often.
I even heard the Top Chef contestants say during a challenge that the food they make is not very health conscious. This was when they had to make meals for contestants from the Biggest Loser show. However, Many did manage to make food that the contestants liked while keeping the fat and calories in check.
"Revenge is sweet and not fattening"
-Alfred Hitchcock-
What do you expect from Tony. He's a New Yorker. Tony is okay in my book to call all of them out.
I love Anthony...mean ass. He is like a drunk squidward. Yes! I made a spongebob reference, but I live in a world of that revolves around my kids. *shrugs shoulders*
I like Paula and Guy, they are completely cute.
TEAM I LOVE FOOD! NOW, COOK FOR ME, BITCHES!
Submitted by Red Dwarf on Fri, 08/19/2011 - 6:05pm.
_________________________________________
Now that is a non annoying cooking bitch, next to Ina!
I saw about 10 episodes of her show on the Green Network(I think?) years ago and I loved the one where she goes making mash from scratch, with this specific tool made for hand mashing mash potatoes and shit and so on and her mom makes some shit in like 10 minutes and her niece likes that way better than her elaborate version, hah!
Re-posting just to make it right: Kylie never threw a fit over losing the competition either. She reacted all natural and nonplussed.
Not familiar with Paula--apart from the MK posts (her show isn't aired here); Bourdain shoved his cock up his own ass by season 2 of No Reservations. Been over him for a few years, now.
I like my local girl Kylie Kwong. Yep--Chinese and named Kylie, and she can cook like a mofo. Doesn't get much better than that!
I LOVE Anthony Bourdain. He says what's on his mind and he doesn't have much of a filter. And while he does eat pretentious food, he also
appreciates street food as long as it's good.
I thought he buried the hatchet with Rachel, after she mentioned that she was a fan of The Velvet Underground?
Except for Rachel Ray, I don't mind the other chefs.
Food TV personality are so ridiculous.
It's just food, people.
I cannot make shit in 30mins, or tablescapes, or shit with 10lbs of butter, or everything from scratch(like Anthony Brown, who seems decent and nerdy and I am decent and nerdy and appreciate his recipes, but cannot get involved with all the processes it takes to make home made beef jerky.)
We cannot be all teeth and gum and captain obvious like Giada. We cannot be whatever the fuck Bobby Flay is.
Watching those shows is annoying and Bourdain is a total douche, so fuck those two floozies.
TEAM ANFONY!!! I love you, man...but bitch please, you ain't one to talk about "good for you" food. Watch yo' mouf. I seen you stuff your gob with shit Paula Deen wouldn't even deep fry...but I'm still TEAM ANFONY!!!
**********************************
Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
I don't know anything about Guy, but I like people who worked their way up from nothing, and that fits Rachael, Paula, and Sandra.
Sandra had a psycho mother and was stuck trying to cook and care for her siblings from around 13 years old. She had it pretty rough and I can't hate her for making something of herself even if I don't use her style of cooking. (And she did go to culinary school.)
imo the only food personality worth watching is Jamie Oliver, cracked-out baby names notwithstanding. Maybe Ina Garten too. I'm on the fence about Bourdain...Kitchen Confidential is wickedly funny at times, but after reading that, you get the impression everyone in the food industry is a hyper paranoid coked-out lunatic who's one step away from getting arrested. It got a little grating after a while.
The one thing I did get out of that book is to never EVER order fish on Monday in an NYC restaurant. Just don't.
LoL nice, I love me some Bourdain. And if he pisses off asshole trolls like Poopele, even better. Go Tony!
Submitted by Agnostic
...I LOVE, Love Anthony Bourdain, I think he's completely unpretentious, he'll go off the beaten path to eat what the locals eat, to get the real taste of whatever place he is in...
****
Anthony bourdain not 'pretentious'?
WTF? Ramone's T-Shirt? Check. Manhatan Smug? Check. Expense account? Check.
Here is a clue....a 60 year old guy with an earring is either pretentious or a pirate.
Submitted by Poopele on Fri, 08/19/2011 - 4:03pm.
Submitted by Agnostic
...I LOVE, Love Anthony Bourdain, I think he's completely unpretentious...
****
Anthony bourdain not 'pretentious'? WTF? Ramone's T-Shirt? Check. Manhatan Smug? Check. Expense account? Check.
-----------
I didn't know owning a Ramones shirt for over 20 years made one a hipster. I should tell my kids that one. I'm almost 39 and lucky enough to have seen the Ramones in 92 & in their last tour in '96. I stil have the shirts from both shows & I still wear them along with my falling apart 7 year old chucks because that's who I am and I'm not going to change for the sake of whatever's acceptable to other people, besides Anthony Bourdain has been pretty much wearing the same shit since the '80s & proud of it.
Do you change who you are, what you like to wear just so that others will either A-Find you acceptable, B-Not deem you a "hipster" or C-All of the above, because you don't know who you are and what you like and depend on Fashion Magazines (or wherever the fuck people find out about what's fashionable these days) to tell you
what's acceptable, non-offensive and god fucking forbid "hip". I'm not familiar with smugness of the Manhattan variety, so I can't comment there because last time I was in NY everyone I met was way nicer than the assholes here on the West Side of L.A.
PS - I'm deliriously happy that the WM3 are free, I was a supporter LONG before Depp or Vedder knew of them. I hope that makes me a hipster as well.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
"How nice, to feel nothing, and still get full credit for being alive."
- Kurt Vonnegut, Slaughterhouse-Five
I love Anthony Bourdain. He can say whatever he wants. He has proven himself to me through his writing. He expresses a level of intelligence that the female triplets of cooking mediocrity he cites could never grasp.
Maybe not "most dangerous" territory-don't we save that label for say, Lohans?
But I'm afraid I am Team Anthony on this one...at least about Paula. Her bubbly, southern madam act has the shelf life of yogurt. I don't think of her as a chef, more of a butter, cheese and heavy cream crafter. Ugh, my gallbladder.
I LOVE, Love Anthony Bourdain, I think he's completely unpretentious, he'll go off the beaten path to eat what the locals eat, to get the real taste of whatever place he is in. He's also always been honest about his past drug addiction and he's stopped smoking since his daughter was born. His wardrobe is his own, his t-shirts decades old but that doesn't make him a HIPSTER.I think he's the opposite of that, showing people that there are good things to be found which aren't part of the travel brochure. Oh and I love his "Food Porn" specials. I love the man.
Edited to fix Holster which my fucked to hell iPhone decided I intended to write when I typed HIPSTER. Piece of shit phone...
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
"How nice, to feel nothing, and still get full credit for being alive."
- Kurt Vonnegut, Slaughterhouse-Five
Almost all working chefs taste with their fingers and use them to clean up the dish before serving. Dog licks are generally frowned on. I sometimes let mine clean up a plate of scraps. But, even after it's gone thru the dishwasher, I never look at the plate the same.
Oh Anthony. I had a crush on him when I was going through my "old man" phase. I still like him as a TV personality, and I think he says these things to rile people up. Southern cooking has never been considered healthy, what with the buttah, lard, gravy, pork, & fried things.
However, neither has traditional French cooking, his specialty. The French are some of the biggest butter abusers around. Paula, Sandra and Rachael all use store bought, processed foods, so he has a point there. Processed foods and the lack of a walking culture has made America fat.
But I like that chubby Southern lady, so I wish he'd just pick on Sandra "Fake Boobs & Vodka" Lee and Rachael "My Husband Pays Hookers to Spit on Him" Ray.
Submitted by christine the hoff on Fri, 08/19/2011 - 12:30pm.
Sorry but paula is a FUCKING PIG. she licks her fingers then puts them back in the bowl, lets her fucking dog lick her hand while she's cooking....
if you don't fucking understand basic hygiene, you have no bizzness being on a goddam cooking show.
---------------------------------------------------
Ewwww. I've never seen her do this. I don't watch all that often. If I ever do see this, it will be my last time watching. That's disgusting.
Submitted by jerseygirl17 on Fri, 08/19/2011 - 11:43am.
No, the obesity epidemic is NOT Paula's fault. People are too stupid to realize that things called "Fried Butter Balls" and "Uncle Bubba's Beer Biscuits" should not be eaten everyday, seriously?
----------------------------------------------------
I doubt cooking comes into play with obesity at all. It's more fast food than anything.
As for Paula's food, she has some good recipes that I cook once and awhile. I can't imagine anyone cooks like that on a regular basis. I made her Empanadas and they were delish. Her show is fun. I can't really make her out to be the debbil because she makes fattening comfort food.
I love them both, and they are both right.
I love me some Paula Deen. Have you seen this video? http://vimeo.com/27342330
*************************************************
Please visit The Bitchy Waiter
Or follow my Bitchy Waiter ass on Twitter
Submitted by RustyHooligan on Fri, 08/19/2011 - 12:31pm.
My fave TV chef evah is Jacques Pépin. I like his simple, old-school, haphazard style, his accent, the (mostly) healthy food he cooks... He's someone who's much more than just a celebrity chef.
************
I would seriously eat anything he made. The only TV chef I can stand.
Submitted by ImpertinentVixen on Fri, 08/19/2011 - 12:13pm.
I hate cooking. With a passion. I just want someone to put the food in front of me, like a guy coming home from work in the 50s.
Yes, um hmm, THIS. Hate the process, hate the smell, hate everything about it. I do bake a mean chocolate chip cookie, though. That is all, just the cookie.
AB is a bitchy cunt...TEAM DEEN!!!!
________________________________________________
I'm countin' on Jesus at this point.
MUSCLES AND CLAMS ARE THE SHIT CHARLIE! NOM NOM NOM NOMNOM HNOM!
M.E.
and they let her cook on t.v.????????? right???
the WORST was letting her dog lick food off her fingers.
DON'T THE PRODUCERS KNOW what dogs lick for fuck's sweet sake????
------------------------------------------------
Oh God ,why don't you go sit under a rainbow and write a poem, Kyle.
I do eat some of that shit you were talking about but the way you worded your rant just made my day. fuck that shit
-----------------------------------------
Submitted by charlie loves tiger on Fri, 08/19/2011 - 10:44am.
shut up anthony. i'm not crazy about this guy. he has got an annoying as fuck personality that is a mixture of arrogant, haughty, surley, sleazy, poser, wannabe, stuckup. the list goes on and on. hey asshole, most people out there arent gourmet chefs. most people out there are cooking regular, simple meals. most people out there dont cook with all kinds of special herbs and spices and other fucking shit because they dont know how or dont care or fucking dont have time and dont give a shit. fuck, half the shit he eats on that show i would feed to the hogs. muscles and clams and brains and livers and raw fish and all that other fucked up shit most people would throw out in the fucking barnyard. just give me some mac and cheese with cut of fried hot dogs or some baked chicken with campbells soup over the top and melted cheese or a mc donalds double cheese burger. fuck that shit.
Submitted by boston61 on Fri, 08/19/2011 - 11:30am.
He is not gay. He has a girlfriend and a baby I think. Everyone is not gay, just 1 out of 7 people.
*******************************
Good grief, you and your blanket statements and cereal box statistics!
Hoff - yes, she disgusts me.
Or she'll be stirring something with a spoon, lick it and stick it back in.
*shudders*
"John Mayer and Dave Matthews have been linked to her."
Wow. She loves those edgy musicians, huh?
Sarah Smile
My fave TV chef evah is Jacques Pépin. I like his simple, old-school, haphazard style, his accent, the (mostly) healthy food he cooks... He's someone who's much more than just a celebrity chef.
My favorite episode of "No Reservations" when Bourdain's Italian wife was on, she clearly wears the pants in the family...she would cut off his nuts & serve them with tartar sauce!
********************************
prison, monastery, cloister, cave
Sorry but paula is a FUCKING PIG. she licks her fingers then puts them back in the bowl, lets her fucking dog lick her hand while she's cooking....
if you don't fucking understand basic hygiene, you have no bizzness being on a goddam cooking show.
anthony, I'd fuck him blind. he's sezzy.
------------------------------------------------
Oh God ,why don't you go sit under a rainbow and write a poem, Kyle.