This Is Why Children Should Only Be Mayors On Foursquare

August 17, 2011 / Posted by:

11-year-old Caroline Gonzales won a “Mayor For A Day” contest for kids in her hometown of Forney, TX and her first official order of business was to name a street after her personal Jesus: JUSTIN BIEBER. That STOP sign next to Carline perfectly sums up all of our reactions to this mess.

E! News says that the town came up with the contest, because they’re trying to get kids into politics and government. When Caroline was asked WHY?WHY?WHY?WHY? by the people of Forney as they packed their stuff into a U-Haul to move far far away, she said, “Because I really like Justin Bieber. I like his music and I like him. And I thought, why not have a street in my hometown named after my favorite singer?

If that sign is a permanent thing that will forever live in Forney, then I hope it’s on a street that is nothing but a stretch of desolateness full of abandoned warehouses, killed dreams and crack shanties. Because can you imagine living on Justin Bieber Way? Every time you typed in “Justin Bieber Way” in the credit card information box on a porn site you want to join, your boner would die along with your will to go on living.

On ONE positive note, at least Caroline is a kid who is doing stupid kid shit even if it’s a nightmare for everybody else. If my 11-year-old self was named Mayor For A Day of Forney, my first order of business would be to change the name of my town to Horney, TX. Shit, that would still be my first order of business. I should’ve entered that contest.

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