Pissing In A Plane Aisle Is A Thing Now

Last week, some ski dude got busted for doing an all-the-way R. Kelly on a JetBlue flight by drunk pissing on a 12-year-old girl and now Gérard Depardieu has joined the club by saying oui oui to pee peeing on a plane’s carpet. Dozens of hos witnessed for themselves that the stuffed cunt toast of France just doesn’t give le fuck about anything. Gérard Depardouchebag will throw shade at Juliette Binoche and will gladly show a bitch he’s not joking by filling an airplane cabin with the rotten scent of French bladder wine.

People reports that 62-year-old Gérard was on a CityJet flight from Paris to Dublin that was delayed on the tarmac when he asked a flight attendant if he could take a piss in the toilet. The flight attendant denied Gérard and told him in so many words that he better pinch his peen and wait until after they takeoff. Gérard will not be told NON and so he did what any old drunk would do: he got up and pissed himself in front of everyone. And my mouth is pissing out a heavy stream of HAHAHAs over another masterpiss from Gérard. CityJet only had this to say:

“I will only confirm that he, in effect, urinated in the plane.”

After Gérard gave everyone his best performance yet, the plane went back to the gate and was delayed for another 2 hours while a crew de-urinated it. Gérard was not arrested or cited and he had nothing to say about this mess.

The only thing that is keeping this almost perfect story from being absolutely perfect is that it didn’t go down in America. If it did, he would’ve been tackled, tasered (smells like charred ham and burnt roux), hog-tied, charged with terrorism and had his mushroom head penis nose shoved into the piss stain.

And I really can’t wait to see how he’s going to blame this on Juliette Binoche.