Pissing In A Plane Aisle Is A Thing Now
Last week, some ski dude got busted for doing an all-the-way R. Kelly on a JetBlue flight by drunk pissing on a 12-year-old girl and now Gérard Depardieu has joined the club by saying oui oui to pee peeing on a plane's carpet. Dozens of hos witnessed for themselves that the stuffed cunt toast of France just doesn't give le fuck about anything. Gérard Depardouchebag will throw shade at Juliette Binoche and will gladly show a bitch he's not joking by filling an airplane cabin with the rotten scent of French bladder wine.
People reports that 62-year-old Gérard was on a CityJet flight from Paris to Dublin that was delayed on the tarmac when he asked a flight attendant if he could take a piss in the toilet. The flight attendant denied Gérard and told him in so many words that he better pinch his peen and wait until after they takeoff. Gérard will not be told NON and so he did what any old drunk would do: he got up and pissed himself in front of everyone. And my mouth is pissing out a heavy stream of HAHAHAs over another masterpiss from Gérard. CityJet only had this to say:
"I will only confirm that he, in effect, urinated in the plane."
After Gérard gave everyone his best performance yet, the plane went back to the gate and was delayed for another 2 hours while a crew de-urinated it. Gérard was not arrested or cited and he had nothing to say about this mess.
The only thing that is keeping this almost perfect story from being absolutely perfect is that it didn't go down in America. If it did, he would've been tackled, tasered (smells like charred ham and burnt roux), hog-tied, charged with terrorism and had his mushroom head penis nose shoved into the piss stain.
And I really can't wait to see how he's going to blame this on Juliette Binoche.
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He's just a fucking ugly drunk who's best days are behind him. I'd boot him off the plane, never to return. Binoche isn't any raving beauty, either.
i also love how the quote says he "in effect" urinated in the plane...bitch he either did or he didn't! he so did. priceless.
www.hangryhippo.com: Where hunger, anger, media consumption, and satire meet for a snack
omigod omigod omigod this is too hilarious! you know how many times i've wanted to do this?! but i am no gerard...the man clearly has cojones to match his mushroom head peen.
www.hangryhippo.com: Where hunger, anger, media consumption, and satire meet for a snack
he looks as though he smells like the sweaty socks my nasty brother wears for days and then throws in the laundry and expects me to wash them. uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
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Beyonce is just as much ghetto trash as her sister, she just knows how to hide it better.
Barbado Slim 2008
looking and listening to this guy thoroughly convinces me that the stinkest of gas and nastiest shit oozes out of ever pore and hole of his body. He looks(and sounds) that disgusting!
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"The world is a pretty nice place if you're happy"
John Garfield
No one lives forever
"Remember his slam of Juliette Binoche?"
He's not fit to clean up her spilled piss. Seriously.
Sarah Smile
So true about the scenario if this happened in the U.S. His ass'd have been in the hoosegow in no time.
Sarah Smile
Submitted by Bjork You on Wed, 08/17/2011 - 5:16pm.
This type of behaviour from him is not surprising at all. Remember his slam of Juliette Binoche?
Sort of off topic: His dead son had a lovely, cured penis
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YOU BITCH! There is coke spit all over the damn place right now because all I can see is this guy with several penis' hanging on hooks in a meat smoker getting "cured". BEST. TYPO. EVAH!
Submitted by Bjork You on Wed, 08/17/2011 - 5:16pm.
This type of behaviour from him is not surprising at all. Remember his slam of Juliette Binoche?
Sort of off topic: His dead son had a lovely, cured penis
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YOU BITCH! There is coke spit all over the damn place right now because all I can see is this guy with several penis' hanging on hooks in a meat smoker getting "cured". BEST. TYPO. EVAH!
Hmm, I'm torn. On one hand, this is an act of cuntery most foul. On the other, I've been in the situation described in great detail by Whamo below...so I don't know. I'm sure the other passengers wouldn't have appreciated the smell of pee wafting through the cabin, either.
Jesus, Mr. Depardieu looks like an aging, alcoholic hobbit (or possibly a troll).
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I was entirely unaware of how sucky it would get.
- Gautama.
Jesus, Mr. Depardieu looks like an aging, alcoholic hobbit (or possibly a troll).
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I was entirely unaware of how sucky it would get.
- Gautama.
Submitted by Bjork You on Wed, 08/17/2011 - 5:36pm.
Curved? Darn...proscuitto-flavored penis sounded yummy. :)
Submitted by Red Dwarf on Wed, 08/17/2011 - 5:32pm.
Submitted by Bjork You on Wed, 08/17/2011 - 5:16pm.
"...His dead son had a lovely, cured penis..."
Cured? Like a ham? Proscuitto penis?
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Ha, ha!! Oops, typo. I meant to type "curved."
The film was "Pola X."
They should have rubbed his bulbous, penis of a nose in the whizz; otherwise he'll never learn.
Submitted by Bjork You on Wed, 08/17/2011 - 5:16pm.
"...His dead son had a lovely, cured penis..."
Cured? Like a ham? Proscuitto penis?
This type of behaviour from him is not surprising at all. Remember his slam of Juliette Binoche?
Sort of off topic: His dead son had a lovely, cured penis (I didn't see it in person or at his funeral but in some pretentious French film [to some this is redundant] that I'm too lazy to look up).
Submitted by RustyHooligan on Wed, 08/17/2011 - 4:44pm.
Submitted by Deb on Wed, 08/17/2011 - 4:37pm.
Gerard is looking like a character from a Dickens novel.
Or Aqualung
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Good one!
"Sun streaking cold, an old man wandering lonely,
Taking a piss the only way he knows."
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Submitted by Deb on Wed, 08/17/2011 - 4:37pm.
Gerard is looking like a character from a Dickens novel.
Or Aqualung.
They should have let him go in the restroom like he asked. Not that I approve of his response, unless he genuinely could not hold it.
Gerard is looking like a character from a Dickens novel. Has JetBlue become the Greyhound of the skies?
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Can you believe this guy is considered a sex symbol in France?
The French are a little odd.
I for one will say something in defense of flight attendants. I was recently on a domestic flight and had a serious case of the runs. As I boarded the plane I really wondered how I would make it through the 3 hour long flight but was determined to hold it in the hope that the discomfort would pass.
The departure got delayed and I got really antsy on my seat, I was starting to think that I was very close to shitting in my pants. I finally called a stewardess, threw my pride in the gutter and asked her "can I please use the restrooms? I have diarrhea".
She must've seen the despair (and the sickness) on my face and said yes. I guess she thought it wiser than to decline and have to deal with another kind of situation.
Sorry about the graphic content of my comment!!
I don't know which is worse: traveling with Depardieu or Naomi Campbell?
I guess with Depardieu you don't risk a concussion.
Submitted by Cowjam on Wed, 08/17/2011 - 2:12pm.
Of all the flights I've been on in my life (never counted but more than 80; at least 1/2 trans-Atlantic) I've seen people puke, I've seen people pass out & I've even seen one DIE* on an airplane. But I've NEVER seen anyone piss in the aisle. Now, 2 in one week & people are defending them & blaming the allegedly "c*nty" flight attendants? Ever wonder why flight attendants *might* be like that (although it has never been my experience with flight attendants, it is just a baseless meme that has gotten out of hand)? Because they have to deal with entitled, selfish assholes who think it is ok to piss in the aisle if the plane is delayed and they really, really have to go!
*Old lady in a wheelchair died about an hour into an 8 hour flight. They made all the first class passengers move to coach so they could lay her body out up there.
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"And 9/11 ain't nothing compared to what's happening on the buffet line at Sizzler." MK
Why wasn't he kicked off the flight?
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"Wait until the bitch finds the family of wombats living in her chocha." - MK
I've been reading through the comments, and there's just too many to reply to, so please forgive me if I repeat what someone has already said...
1st-This asshole has absolutely NO RIGHT to take a piss in the aisle of the plane. Yes, he has the right to use the bathroom, and it was wrong of this right to be denied, BUT, who the hell is he to then hold up the flight and delay all the other PAYING CUSTOMERS on that flight who WEREN'T acting like children throwing a tantrum?
2nd-YES, I have had to piss so bad I was 2 seconds from pissing my pants. But, I'm not incontinent or a toddler, so I shook my leg and bounced until the time was appropriate. If he's incapable of doing that, may I suggest an adult diaper?
3rd-SERIOUSLY PEOPLE. He had to fucking piss. He wasn't being deprived of oxygen. My cats have travelled, spent HOURS at the vet, etc. As soon as they got home, they ran straight to the litterbox and pissed and shit. Are you telling me my FUCKING CATS have better bathroom decorum and bladder control than this fucker? COME ONE!
Finally-Funniest comment I've read on this thread comes from EC: "I mean really, has society gotten so low that now it is okay to piss and shit everywhere because you are drunk?". May I steal for my siggie? And the answer is-yes. It is a self absorbed, self entitled, no-responsiblity-for-self-taking society we live in. Welcome to it.
/RANT OVER
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You dumb bitch, I am home.-MK
Submitted by Cowjam on Wed, 08/17/2011 - 2:15pm.
@ EC:
Thanks for the hug. You have a sweet, mushy center under that crusty cake exterior.
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Shhhhhhhhhh! I have a nasty reputation to keep up Cowjam! Don't go ruining it for me! : )
Okay, this is my final rant on the subject.
I am not fan of any airline. I have been treated poorly by stewardesses since the wheel was invented. That said, I do not see where someone being drunk, (and news stories reported him as drunk) and unable to control their bladder being a drunk deserves sympathy or understanding from people. That is crazy. A slight delay by the airline, and Depardieu, not caring about anyone but himself, causes passengers to be delayed an additional two hours. How is that anyone's fault but the man who drank too much and who is a nasty piece of work.
I am positive if any of you defending him had been on this plane and had somewhere to be, you would not be so happy about what he did. Making others suffer for the actions of an airline is ridiculous, immature and simply wrong. Take issue with the airline, do not make other innocent travelers, also unhappy about things, have to suffer along with you.
@ EC:
Thanks for the hug. You have a sweet, mushy center under that crusty cake exterior.
@ Heathen:
I had been eight months pregnant and held for 2 hours by airport security while they ran a security check on one of our traveling companions. They were neither sympathetic nor accommodating.
Submitted by Cowjam on Wed, 08/17/2011 - 2:07pm.
EC, she was too old to travel. I lost her earlier this year.
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Oh Cowjam, I am so sorry! That makes me sad that you two were not able to visit in that time.
(((((hugs))))))
EC, she was too old to travel. I lost her earlier this year.
Submitted by Whamo on Wed, 08/17/2011 - 1:38pm.
You're a guy who is not only defending but basically advocating pissing all over a plane's floor, so excuse me if I don't take your "guarantees" at face value.
I, personally, have been on several planes that were delayed & the flight attendants were always sympathetic & accommodating. So this myth of them all being "c*nts" (really, can I expect better from someone who advocates pissing like an animal whenever he gets the urge?) is pulled out of your ass. You've probably never been on a plane in your life.
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"And 9/11 ain't nothing compared to what's happening on the buffet line at Sizzler." MK
Thanks EC. I know it's a different situation, but I'm still glad that Depardieu with his high profile made a "statement".
Submitted by Cowjam on Wed, 08/17/2011 - 1:56pm.
So sorry to hear about you health issues, and your situation is much different than a drunken baffoons, which is precisely what he is.
May I ask, can your mom not travel to see you? I would hate not being able to see my mom for that length of time.
Team Depardieu here.
I am in stage 5 renal failure and trying to delay dialysis. I haven't seen my mom in eight years since I was diagnosed, since that would require air travel. I am too afraid of getting into a situation that would further damage my health, either by becoming dehydrated, or having to hold my pee, which is a medical no-no for me.
Years ago, I would have asked for and been granted special privileges by the airlines for my condition, but not now.
I'm not looking for a pity party here, but I have heard too many horror stories of the airlines and the TSA being cunts about their fucking "security" rules.
Submitted by heathen on Wed, 08/17/2011 - 12:48pm.
Submitted by Whamo on Wed, 08/17/2011 - 12:35pm.
And one thing I can guarantee you planes have on board is water bottles. Emptying the water on the floor & pissing in the bottle would have been a more civilized thing to do
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I guarantee you planes have water bottles as well and I also guarantee you that some fucking CUNT of a stewardess that doesn't let you take a piss sure the fuck isn't going to go out of her way to get you a water bottle so you can EMPTY the fucking thing and then PISS in it. I mean REALLY.
Wouldn't you just say "go to the bathroom sir you obviously need to go bad"
Let's say the guy held it in utill he just couldn't anymore. He doesn't have time to mess around, let the guy take a piss for Christ sake.
The guy has travelled hundreds and hundreds of time without an incident ( at least a pissing incident )and this one time he seems to be caught in an obviously major emergency to the point where he felt he had no other choice other than piss his pants or on the floor. He choose the floor.
What would I do? Like I said if the stewardess was being a bitch, saw me in great pain and still wouldn't let me take a piss... I'd of pissed floor too!
Sorry the thing to do here is let the person go to the washroom in an emergency. It seems you've never have had an emergency but some of us have and can kind of empathize with him to a degree.
Anyway I'm done arguing over something so silly and will be holding Evil's hand whilst I pee all over this thread.
Pee Pee? La Pew!
Submitted by RustyHooligan on Wed, 08/17/2011 - 1:03pm.
It was one of those stainless steel water bottles. And it had orange juice in it.
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"Let them measure my anus and see if it is dilated."
-Father Andrés García Torres, inventor of the Catholic Anus Ruler
*pisses like an animal all over thread*
Whoops! Sorry guys, I just couldn't hold it!
I ain't braggin' or nothin', but it better be a wide-mouthed water bottle or not much of it's going into the container.
In related news, Korean Air just announced individual mini-potties for their First Class passengers.
I have to say that I am on this cunt's side, for real. Sometimes, those plane bitches don't have the common sense to let people go take a piss.
On one plane I was on, the ladies running that shit got in trouble for helping an old ass lady to go pee while we are stuck on the tarmac.
Another time, my friend (who was a dude) had to piss in a bottle while I held up a blanket for him.
It doesn't make any damn sense to me! They rush your ass onto the plane, steal your damn luggage, and then park on the motherfucking tarmac for two hours. They need to leave room in flight policy for people to go take a piss if they need to in tight situations.
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"Let them measure my anus and see if it is dilated."
-Father Andrés García Torres, inventor of the Catholic Anus Ruler
Submitted by Whamo on Wed, 08/17/2011 - 12:35pm.
It's kind of like this Whamo, I HATE airline travel, and particularly the bathroom aspect. With that in mind, I do not drink before or during the flight, so I am not forced to use the restrooms on board. Now if I were a drunkard, I sure as fuck wouldn't get all liquored up before a flight to the point that I could not control myself. It is his sense of entitlement that irks me, and this "Well he couldn't wait" idea that bugs me. The delay the airline was having was no where NEAR the delay he caused other passengers because of his bullshit actions.
This man has always been a notorious brute and asshole, so I am sure it was his petulance that drove him to pee, more so than the actual pressure on his alcoholic bladder.
Fuck, my work must be boring if I am arguing with people over assholes pissing on airplanes.
Was everyone thinking it was okay that the drunk skier pissed on the kid because he couldn't wait either? I mean really, has society gotten so low that now it is okay to piss and shit everywhere because you are drunk? Angry? Tired?
I wish this would've happened in America. He deserves to be bitch smacked for this.
Submitted by Whamo on Wed, 08/17/2011 - 12:35pm.
Well you're luck Evil. I have and it's no fun! I had to go so bad before the I've literally had to release about 2 seconds before I'd actually got it out and pointed it down, a second of fumbeling means your gonna be doing some sort of cleaning.
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Ever piss on the floor of a plane full of other people causing a further 2 hour delay while some poor shmuck had to clean up your piss from the floor?
And one thing I can guarantee you planes have on board is water bottles. Emptying the water on the floor & pissing in the bottle would have been a more civilized thing to do than what this fully-grown adult male chose to do.
If, you are arguing, that he had no choice than he should have worn a diaper. Otherwise, he isn't fit to be in the vicinity of other human beings.
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"And 9/11 ain't nothing compared to what's happening on the buffet line at Sizzler." MK
I'll keep this mind the next time someone goes on about how the French are so superior to everyone else in the world.
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Silly rabbit.
Submitted by heathen on Wed, 08/17/2011 - 12:12pm.
Jesus Christ with the people justifying this pig as "needing to go NOW!!!!!!" WTF? Ever heard of an empty water bottle?
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What you carry a water bottle where ever you go? You're assuming there was even one sitting around. I would think they had no bottles out because they hadn't taken off yet, so you tell me, where does he gets this bottle from?
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Wed, 08/17/2011 - 12:08pm.
Submitted by Whamo on Wed, 08/17/2011 - 12:01pm.
Holy shit people have you never had to take a piss so bad that even 1 min is too long?
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Actually no Whamo, I haven't.
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Well you're luck Evil. I have and it's no fun! I had to go so bad before the I've literally had to release about 2 seconds before I'd actually got it out and pointed it down, a second of fumbeling means your gonna be doing some sort of cleaning.
Submitted by Uncle Brain-fart :Don`t know about the French being rude, the two times we went to France, people were nice. I have a problem with judging an entire nation by the behavior of one asshole. Come on, people, we know better than that.
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I had the same experience with the French. I think if one makes a non-condescending attempt to speak it, even if you butcher it, they'll be nice. That was my experience anyway with my rusty high school French :-)
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"You're ugly and your fucking bag is ugly too."--John Galliano (allegedly)
Submitted by RustyHooligan on Wed, 08/17/2011 - 12:23pm.
If you think this guy can't act, see "The Return of Martin Guerre."
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I have seen it, and I still say "Meh" to his acting.