Today, 25-year-old panty model Florence Brudenell-Bruce (or “Flee” as her friends call her) is framing a bright shiny ginger pube as her punane sheds a single tear, because her ride on Prince Hot Ginge’s piping hot crotch scepter has come to an end after two months. To which I say the same thing I hope PHG says to Pippa Middleton when she tries to get more pap attention by climbing up his fiery tower: BYE, BITCH!
A source type says that even though Royal aides (whoever the hell that is) approved of Flee, Prince Hot Ginge is not done knighting blonde vaginas with his peen so he decided to de-Flee his ass. The source went on to tell the Daily Mail this shit, “Harry has a lot on his mind at the moment. He is concentrating on his Apache helicopter training. After that he’s expecting to return to Afghanistan. Harry enjoyed spending time with friends over the summer, but he doesn’t want to be tied town in a relationship when training, so he called time with Flee.”
PHG also knew it wasn’t going to work out with Flee, because he’s leaving for helicopter training in Arizona and won’t be back until Christmas.
I never bothered making a voodoo doll of Flee out of overcooked spaghetti noodles and a Dollar General plastic doll, because that would be a waste of overcooked spaghetti and a Dollar General plastic doll. Just like the pocketbook that is permanently glued to The Queen’s hands, this relationship was going nowhere.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a bus ticket to Arizona to buy and an Apache helicopter costume with easy access holes to make.