Hot Slut Of The Day!

August 16, 2011 / Posted by:

Madonna’s entire video for 1989′s Dear Jessie – In honor of Madge crotch humping this planet for 53 years, I felt it was only right to pay tribute to the video that some say is her worst of all time. Madge said that her co-writer’s daughter Jessie inspired to write about pink elephants and fucking lemonade, but I’m guessing she was really inspired by what happened when she mixed cotton candy-flavored acid with flat champagne because this shit is just uh…mess!

When I was a kid, this one of my favorite Madge songs, because it sounds like a rainbow farting. But I could never come up with a word to describe the video which featured Madge as an animated fairy dancing in line with crescent moons as stars fell around them. I now know that the word that was just a glittery cloud in my head was the word: GAYMARE! Seriously, just watching it again is giving me an acid aftertaste.

And I’m sure Madge still sings this lullaby to this day. She sings it to her boy toys in their crib to soothe their nerves right before she sinks her teeth into their nutsacks to drain their youth. Happy Birfday, Madge!

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