Afternoon Crumbs
Shelley Duvall looks like a new kind of fucking awful! (Sidenote: Apologies to the real Shelley Duvall, because she’s probably digging for fallen UFO satellites in the middle of the desert and doesn’t need me comparing her to the likes of Jennifer Love Hewitt) – ICYDK
BREAKING: The sad hapa hobo took a bath – Lainey Gossip
Because you’ve already seen Heidi Klum in a bikini for six days in a row, here’s another set to add to the pile – Hollywood Tuna
The fist of Xenu killed JLo’s marriage and not the mighty fist of Skeletor’s wrist dick – The Superficial
When you’re having dinner with a bland bitch like Josh Hartnett, sometimes you have to do golden showers with yourself to spice things up – (NSFW) Drunken Stepfather
Why does the ass-to-ass scene from Requiem for a Dream come to mind? – The Daily What
Salma Hayek’s world-saving chichis in Allure – The Berry
Adam Levine’s bare torso looks like the kind of mural you’d find at a low-funded city zoo – Celebitchy
Miley Cyrus’ knees look like fetuses (No, I’m not writing this while giving mouth-to-bong. Unfortunately.) – Popoholic
Chrissy Crocker’s gay porno dreams are actually coming true – OMG Blog
Arnold Schwarzenegger munching on an ice cream cone like it was between the legs of a Guatemalan maid – Celebslam
Now for a palate cleanser – Popsugar
Three words: Ferrets in costumes – Cityrag
Shaq is officially bored – Videogum
Today’s dick print is provided by Seal – SOW
Baby Huey’s bulge might be a lot more tingly to my parts if I haven’t already seen the real thing – Hollywood Rag
Rich bitch likes being a rich bitch – I’m Not Obsessed