UPDATE: Tara Reid is still married. But the man whose lips she drunk barfed on a little during the first kiss as husband and wife was not Michael Lilleund as everyone reported. We all figured that she married Michael Lilleund in Greece since it might be hard for Tara to find yet another dude who is okay with the scent of burnt bacon and deep fried pork buns hitting his nostrils when he titty fucks her. But Tara did it! Tara Tweeted that she married a dude named Zack Kehayov. Tara then Tweeted a picture of her wedding ring which was obviously created just for her by the jeweler to the stars Claire’s.
Michael Lilleund told the Dutch press that he’s way too busy scraping gristle bits and whiskey-marinated skin cheese out of his mouth from licking on Tara’s coochie rinds for months, and he hasn’t seen her since February.
Not much is known about this Zack Kehayov dude. Shit. We don’t even know if his name is really Zack Kehayov. I doubt Tara even knows herself. Even bitch’s ear drums are drunk, so his name could be Jack
Carwash Mehoff for all she fucking knows. What we do know about the new Mr. Tara Reid is that he obviously jizzes in his chonies when he chews on bacon fat. Either that or he’s completely blind. For real this time!