Open Post: Hosted By Emmitt Thunderpaws

This video of a gargantuan horse dog named Emmit Thunderpaws (Pregnant celebwhores, take note. That is a name!) freaking out over the return of his military dad after 9 months apart will make you do 3 things:

1) Feel a thin layer of warmness over the mound of ice cold ground vulture meat in your chest.
2) Petition for Emmit Thunderpaws to join the cast of Dancing with the Stars.
3) Google "Great Dane lipstick."

via The Daily What

Posted by: Michael K

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Open Post

Submitted by ba-buttons on Mon, 08/15/2011 - 12:16pm.

Submitted by Stoney on Mon, 08/15/2011 - 1:30pm.

I got fucking laid off this morning after nine whole months with my new fucking company!

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Told you. Those Mexican cartels pay well but are always flaky with their contracting.

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Submitted by Molotov Cocktease on Thu, 08/04/2011 - 6:39pm.

"ZOMG I love the peen, I just want to lick on it all day long nom nom nom"

Submitted by M.E. on Mon, 08/15/2011 - 12:16pm.

snowy - they were the same ones. LOL. They were HUGE (about 5 inches long).

I noticed Friday night when I got home they were all chillin on the botton of the tank (thought they were sleeping) then Saturday morning the two biggest ones were white and their eyes were all cloudy.

Submitted by letinstar on Mon, 08/15/2011 - 12:16pm.

sending positive energy to eeg and stoney...
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Charisma, Uniqueness, Nerve and Talent...

Submitted by from athens on Mon, 08/15/2011 - 12:15pm.

sorry for the sad news people,over here we have religious celebrations so i will post something festive
http://youtu.be/WhbFH6r0_YU

Submitted by sybil on Mon, 08/15/2011 - 12:15pm.

Ouch Stoney! Bad days SUCK!!! Keep moving forward my friend...this might have happend for a reason...keep your eyes open & be positive! Sipping a Mimosa & toasting to your bright future...cheers!!!

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"Michael K is my fashion inspiration!"-Tom Ford

Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Mon, 08/15/2011 - 12:15pm.

Submitted by Stoney on Mon, 08/15/2011 - 1:41pm.
Oh! Well thank you so much for not being cruel for no fucking reason on the day I lose my job!

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Was someone being an ass? Idiots!

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Submitted by Jintess on Sun, 08/14/2011 - 2:40pm.

You're right, when even these people boo you, it's time to figure out how strong the shower rod is and how durable your shoe l

Submitted by rukiddingme on Mon, 08/15/2011 - 12:15pm.

Positive thoughts are being sent your way Stoney and East End Girl.

www.petfinder.com - enter your zip code to find adoptable pets in your area.

www.animalrescuesite.com - click everyday to help feed animals in shelters.

Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Mon, 08/15/2011 - 12:14pm.

Sorry to hear about work Stoney. I'll hold the chainsaw while you drink some vodka.

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"Bitch, your pancakes look fine to me."

*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-

Submitted by RedWeatherTigerD on Mon, 08/15/2011 - 12:14pm.

I love this video and Emmitt--I have a Great Dane that looks very much like him. When Emmitt was jumping up on the guy, I thought, "Dude's going down!" Danes are awesome dogs.

I'm sorry, Stoney. That totally blows.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

"Zahara wore her signature double shank eye..." --MK

Submitted by guest on Mon, 08/15/2011 - 12:14pm.

Well I'm glad you got a severance package Stoney.

Dirty...lofl.

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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.

Submitted by M.E. on Mon, 08/15/2011 - 12:13pm.

Submitted by Twat Muffin on Mon, 08/15/2011 - 1:39pm.
M.E. -- OMG, so sorry to hear about all your animal death. My bff has a 7-year old goldfish who always dances for his dinner -- he's a bad-ass fish
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The two bigger ones used to let me pet them. :(

BH emptied out the entire tank, bleached everything, new filters etc...bought a bala shark.

Meh. I'm going to get some pretty fishes this time. Maybe some clown loaches.. IDK.

I actually wanted (when the time came) to change out to an African Cichlid tank. :D

Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Mon, 08/15/2011 - 12:13pm.

Submitted by EastEndGirl on Mon, 08/15/2011 - 1:29pm.
Hospital bound. If you whores don't here from me in a few days I didn't make it.

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Good grief! I hope everything turns out okay. Keep us posted!

Sorry to hear about your fishy M.E. I won't have another one because mine was so awesome and I was super attached to him.

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Submitted by Jintess on Sun, 08/14/2011 - 2:40pm.

You're right, when even these people boo you, it's time to figure out how strong the shower rod is and how durable your shoe l

Submitted by christine the hoff on Mon, 08/15/2011 - 12:13pm.

stoney and EEG
lots of love from granny to you both.....

"Stands in unemploment line and donates blood for EEG"

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Oh God ,why don't you go sit under a rainbow and write a poem, Kyle.

Submitted by Dirk Diggler on Mon, 08/15/2011 - 12:13pm.

The dog is taller than the guy! Beautiful animal though.

Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Mon, 08/15/2011 - 12:11pm.

I like this video of a doggeh and a soldier too.

http://www.godvine.com/Mommy-and-Doggy-Reunite-After-a-Year-Apart-343.ht...

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"Bitch, your pancakes look fine to me."

*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-

Submitted by Stoney on Mon, 08/15/2011 - 12:11pm.

Oh! Well thank you so much for not being cruel for no fucking reason on the day I lose my job!

I am getting a decent severance package, I am eligible for unemployment and rehire, but I cried so hard on my way out I seriously doubt I can show my face up there again.

*bawls*

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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."

Submitted by EastEndGirl on Mon, 08/15/2011 - 12:09pm.

Stoney, man oh man girl. tell snowy to give me your fucking number already and I will text you before they knock me out.

Twat, you don't wanna know, it would make you barf.

Submitted by Twat Muffin on Mon, 08/15/2011 - 12:09pm.

M.E. -- OMG, so sorry to hear about all your animal death. My bff has a 7-year old goldfish who always dances for his dinner -- he's a bad-ass fish.

Submitted by jerseygirl17 on Mon, 08/15/2011 - 12:09pm.

I'm sorry Stoney :-( that sucks.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I refreshed the page and my PENIS WAS GONE! -- SugarFreeRedBull, MicroPenis Advocate

Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Mon, 08/15/2011 - 12:08pm.

Best name ever.

*googles great dane lipstick*

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"Bitch, your pancakes look fine to me."

*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-

Submitted by Twat Muffin on Mon, 08/15/2011 - 12:07pm.

EEG -- may I ask what's wrong hon? I was hospitalized a couple of weeks -- I feel your pain! Feel better & get better, okay?

Stoney -- so sorry to hear that. That really sucks, esp. in this economy.

OMG, that video has melted my cold, cold heart.

Submitted by Preferred Username on Mon, 08/15/2011 - 12:07pm.

@M.E.

So sorry for your loss. Some people say, well it was fish, you couldn't touch them or anything, but I would smack those people upside the head because I remember my fish Whiteboy (RIP) and he would dance for his dinner. I was terribly hurt when he died.

@Stoney

I won't kick you for kicks today. It sucks losing a job. I hope your unemployment kicks in promptly.

*passes fatty and mad-dog all around*

Submitted by christine the hoff on Mon, 08/15/2011 - 12:07pm.

Submitted by femguide on Mon, 08/15/2011 - 1:24pm.

Not only did Christain make me cry, I showed it to three other people and they cried too.........

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Oh God ,why don't you go sit under a rainbow and write a poem, Kyle.

Submitted by Raul Duke on Mon, 08/15/2011 - 12:07pm.

Submitted by EastEndGirl on Mon, 08/15/2011 - 1:29pm. Good luck and we'll see you in a few. :-)

Submitted by Meatblocks on Mon, 06/27/2011 - 12:16pm.
suckandfuck and raul are like the goofus and gallant of sick humor.
the best.

┌_П┐(•_•)┌П┐__
I'm not a living legend. I'm just a myth.

Submitted by Raul Duke on Mon, 08/15/2011 - 12:05pm.

Submitted by Stoney on Mon, 08/15/2011 - 1:31pm.
Bummer gurl, but you know there is always a position for you on Raul's firm.

Submitted by Meatblocks on Mon, 06/27/2011 - 12:16pm.
suckandfuck and raul are like the goofus and gallant of sick humor.
the best.

┌_П┐(•_•)┌П┐__
I'm not a living legend. I'm just a myth.

Submitted by guest on Mon, 08/15/2011 - 12:03pm.

EEG...good thoughts to u & prayers. please keep us posted.

Stoney...so fucking sorry! :(

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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.

Submitted by mbar on Mon, 08/15/2011 - 12:02pm.

I love Emmit. He's awesome.

Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Mon, 08/15/2011 - 12:01pm.

Submitted by Stoney on Mon, 08/15/2011 - 1:30pm.
*runs through thread with chainsaw*

Hello you fucking fuckers! I got fucking laid off this morning after nine whole months with my new fucking company! Out of the blue, total fucking shock, right after a great performance review! They decided to cut my position. AFUCKINGGAIN I am dealing with this shit!!!

*cuts off own head with chainsaw*

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Sorry to hear that Stoney!

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Submitted by Jintess on Sun, 08/14/2011 - 2:40pm.

You're right, when even these people boo you, it's time to figure out how strong the shower rod is and how durable your shoe l

Submitted by Raul Duke on Mon, 08/15/2011 - 12:01pm.

Submitted by snowpiece on Mon, 08/15/2011 - 1:26pm.
WTH is a plecostomus? Isn't that a kind of dinosaur?

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No, but when he used to post on here he was funny as fuck.

Submitted by Meatblocks on Mon, 06/27/2011 - 12:16pm.
suckandfuck and raul are like the goofus and gallant of sick humor.
the best.

┌_П┐(•_•)┌П┐__
I'm not a living legend. I'm just a myth.

Submitted by Stoney on Mon, 08/15/2011 - 12:01pm.

*applies to be EEG's sponge bath giver*

_____________________________________________
"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."

Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Mon, 08/15/2011 - 12:00pm.

Submitted by snowpiece on Mon, 08/15/2011 - 1:26pm.
WTH is a plecostomus? Isn't that a kind of dinosaur?

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Asucker fish and dlisted poster. Hey, whatever happened to Plecostomus? He/she was a poster here, right or am I imagining things?

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Submitted by Jintess on Sun, 08/14/2011 - 2:40pm.

You're right, when even these people boo you, it's time to figure out how strong the shower rod is and how durable your shoe l

Submitted by guest on Mon, 08/15/2011 - 12:00pm.

Aww M.E.!

Lmao @honeybadger.

Sweetas...olol @ the thud of u on the door frame even if it's pretend! ha.

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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.

Submitted by Stoney on Mon, 08/15/2011 - 12:00pm.

*runs through thread with chainsaw*

*cuts off own head with chainsaw*

_____________________________________________
"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."

Submitted by EastEndGirl on Mon, 08/15/2011 - 11:59am.

Hospital bound. If you whores don't here from me in a few days I didn't make it.

Submitted by Dr. Dick on Mon, 08/15/2011 - 11:59am.

Submitted by EastEndGirl on Mon, 08/15/2011 - 1:18pm.
1. love big dogs :)

2. bitch couldn't clean the house for him???

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Agree on both points.

Submitted by suckandfuck on Mon, 08/15/2011 - 11:59am.

oh I miss Pleco Tits

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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.

Submitted by jerseygirl17 on Mon, 08/15/2011 - 11:58am.

Just got back from an office retirement party. PowerPoint of old photos and 2 songs on continuous loop the entire time - Glory Days by Bruce Springsteen and some Nickelback song "Good-by-ee, good-by-ee" for 3 hours. Old folks are weird.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I refreshed the page and my PENIS WAS GONE! -- SugarFreeRedBull, MicroPenis Advocate

Submitted by letinstar on Mon, 08/15/2011 - 11:58am.

thanks to the the dlister that suggested the gay pride parade in montreal...we didn't have time to watch the whole parade, but what we did see was all sorts of awesomeness...
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Charisma, Uniqueness, Nerve and Talent...

Submitted by OurMissC on Mon, 08/15/2011 - 11:58am.

Submitted by snowpiece on Mon, 08/15/2011 - 1:26pm.
WTH is a plecostomus? Isn't that a kind of dinosaur?

It's a sucker fish.

"I've had an awful lot of lovers ... And a lot of awful lovers." - Shirley MacLaine

Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Mon, 08/15/2011 - 11:58am.

Submitted by snowpiece on Mon, 08/15/2011 - 1:21pm.
wow M.E. I had no idea gold fish could live that long

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I had a goldfish that lived 10 yrs (1988-1998). I started out with a tiny bowl and by the time he "passed" (that is for Gaza Strip), he was in a 30gallon aquarium and had gotten huge! I paid .89 cents for him at Wal-Mart when they used to sell fish.

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Submitted by Jintess on Sun, 08/14/2011 - 2:40pm.

You're right, when even these people boo you, it's time to figure out how strong the shower rod is and how durable your shoe l

Submitted by letinstar on Mon, 08/15/2011 - 11:56am.

i must be about to start my period, cuz i just got all teary eyed...
_____________________________________________
Charisma, Uniqueness, Nerve and Talent...

Submitted by snowpiece on Mon, 08/15/2011 - 11:56am.

WTH is a plecostomus? Isn't that a kind of dinosaur?

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"Basically, Murlonio means "from Rob's ass" in Dumfuckanese." MK
"WE ARE THE TRIFECTA OF HATE ENTER THE TRIANGLE." Sucky 6/14/11

Submitted by spankypants on Mon, 08/15/2011 - 11:55am.

Submitted by Raul Duke on Mon, 08/15/2011 - 1:19pm.

That Dane wouldn't do Tara.
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HIIIIIYO!!!!!Let's give it up for Raul. He'll be here all week.

Submitted by femguide on Mon, 08/15/2011 - 11:54am.

Awwww...cute.

Not quite as epic as "Christian the Lion" reunion though.

** http://feministguidetohollywood.blogspot.com **

Submitted by Honeybadger on Mon, 08/15/2011 - 11:53am.

I had a dream last night that the kid in Jack's avie was staring at my chest and saying "Bitch, your pancakes look fine to me" (ala DWM's sig) and then he handed me an (evil?) cupcake. YIKES!!

I will no longer be drinking the sweet nectar and lurking the DL comments immediately prior to bedtimes. Considering a boob job now, too.

Educate yourself on the badass, not-fuck-giving honeybadger, Olivia! ~MK

Submitted by Dion flowerboy on Mon, 08/15/2011 - 11:52am.

There was a great YOUtube vid posted a year ago or so, that was a montage of returning soldiers getting greeted by their elated doggeh friends. It is really sweet. Sorry to hear about your snail and fish friends. A total pet wipeout;drag.

Submitted by snowpiece on Mon, 08/15/2011 - 11:51am.

wow M.E. I had no idea gold fish could live that long. Are you 100% sure BH wasn't flushing the dead ones and replacing and not telling you all these years!?!?
:P
Sorry for you loss! Must have been a big funeral in the backyard!

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"Basically, Murlonio means "from Rob's ass" in Dumfuckanese." MK
"WE ARE THE TRIFECTA OF HATE ENTER THE TRIANGLE." Sucky 6/14/11

Submitted by Sweetas on Mon, 08/15/2011 - 11:51am.

*slides sideways in mah socks into thread* Hey sluts!! jacko is MIA today (and maybe for a few days) so he sends a round of boob grabs and ass slaps to all! *slides back out, hits the door frame*