MiserAlba Finally Gave Birth

August 15, 2011 / Posted by:

After going through what seemed like the gestation period of a damn elephant, the latest heir to the bitchface throne slid out of MiserAlba on Saturday and threw the doctor a shank eye of death that made him slap himself. As JustInItForTheCash Warren day dreamed about how he’s going to spend the extra weekly allowance his wife is going to give him for training their newest baby on how to scowl for every paps’ lens, MiserAlba announced the news on Facebook yesterday. Oh, and pretty much announced that she watches a lot of Syfy and is going to destroy the letter H the same way the Kuntdashians have destroyed the letter K.

Hi Everyone,

Hope you’re enjoying the weekend. Cash and I are so excited to announce the birth of our daughter, Haven Garner Warren. She was born on Saturday, weighed 7lbs, and was 19 inches long. Healthy and happy! Big Sister Honor couldn’t be more excited about the new addition to our family.

Thank you for all of your support during my pregnancy. It means the world to me.

Honor & Haven?! Tell me that doesn’t sound like the names of graphic novel characters who crime fight at night and then work as day-shift taxi dancers at a club where 90% of the proceeds go to a women’s shelter. Speaking of women’s shelter, if you told me that Haven Garner is the name of a halfway house for runaway teens that Jennifer Garner founded because she needed another tax write-off, I wouldn’t waste a keystroke by saying you were lying.

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