…The Hell Is Going On Here Exactly?

August 15, 2011 / Posted by:

Here’s Halle Berry celebrating her 45th birthday in Malibu yesterday by getting a b-hole full of clothed lady clit. Or maybe Halle’s friend tried to Heimlich the fountain of youth (aka blended dolphin placentas) out of her stomach since that’s obviously what she swallows to stay looking like that. That must be it, because every ho wants a perfect body like Halle’s, obviously.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Halle is 45 and has the body of a big-tittied fetus who does crunches in the womb all day. Pretty much every site that posted these pictures slobbered at their finger tips about how Halle has a body that most hos half her age would sell their nipples for. I’m not impressed. You too would have a body like that if you spent your days tensing up your stomach while bitching at Gabriel Aubry over the phone, and spent your nights running from an orgasm-blocking Marmadevil.

Besides, did Halle bounce on the double black dildo machine (aka the elliptical) for half of a Lisa Lisa song yesterday like I did? I thought not. Halle couldn’t have, because she was slacking off with her daughter and Olivier Martinez at the beach! Lazy bitch is lazy!

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