Blind Items: I Guess, You Guess

August 15, 2011 / Posted by:

What former Jersey Shore star offers private one on one parties for $5000 a night? (CDAN)

Angelina? But that $5000 party better include $1000 in food, $2500 in the sweet nectar and $1499 for the good shit, because I know that bottom of the barrel bitch is not charging $5000 to dive into her pool of STDs.

I know we’re in a recession, but you can still get gonorrhea for free if you really want it. I mean, Angelina’s luggage is provided by Hefty, so you know she makes a condoms out of old Ziploc bags, newspaper rubber bands and kitchen grease.

With so many mixed marriages in Hollywood, you might think that people of different religions marrying would not be such a big deal. Well, it is to this future bride. Her faith is so important to her that her fiancé is secretly converting to her religion. The demands of the conversion are quite rigorous. In addition to disciplined studies and participation in various ceremonies, he has also scheduled a very specific physical transformation to comply with the traditions of his new religion. While his training has certainly conditioned his body to handle any physical challenge, this is one procedure for which he can’t train. The two will be married after his conversion is complete, which should be before the end of the year. (Blind Gossip)

I’m guessing that Natalie Portman’s piece Benjamin Millepied is the one who’s peen baguette is getting pulled and snipped. Dick butter just ain’t for Natalie.

This foreign born multi-platinum selling R&B singer who is barely out of his teens was getting mobbed the other night by adoring female fans. What they did not realize is that he has been having an affair with a much older man for the past three years. (CDAN)

Justin Bieber is forever 12 and is not an R&B singer no matter what lies Usher keeps trying to shove in our ears. Wheelchair Jimmy (aka Drake) is way past his teens and is more of a rapper. So I’ve got nothing. I’ll just hit the fog machine, masturbate the harp with my hands and go back in time to my teens to guess that this is someone from Tony! Toni! Tone!

Which A list celebrity couple are having a “trial separation” while he is on tour? (CDAN)

Fishsticks Paltrow and Chris Martin? More solo bedroom bathtub time for her!

This A list movie actor who has always been close to his mother snapped on her last week. They were at a restaurant and started arguing over his latest romance and he got up and said, “What? Are you jealous? I’m not supporting you anymore and that starts with you finding your own way home. Bitch.” (CDAN)

Leonardo DiCatchaho or Shia LaDouche?

Sometimes I get told items which do not necessarily appeal to everyone, but this one was too juicy. It is in Spanish because all of the people involved are Spanish speakers.

Este es un poco complicado, pero en realidad se casó con una actriz good.This lista ha apparead en el cine y la televisión. Aunque está casada, ella ha estado engañando a su marido con una compañera de reparto. El co-protagonista a su vez ha sido infiel a su pareja. Nuestra actriz fue sorprendida por su marido, pero ella fue capaz de convencer a su salida de ella diciendo que el hombre que estaba teniendo una aventura con la era en realidad tiene una aventura con otra compañera de reparto en el mismo programa. Sí, por lo que nuestra actriz marginado a un hombre sólo para proteger a sus aventuras sexuales. (CDAN)

The internet has always taught me that when Google Translation fails, go with Charo!

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