Tina Fey Is A Mom Again
The other week, I was getting a G-rated facial (Although, that shit is really rated NC-17 since it's a horror show) for the first time and as I ate my cries I told myself that this is what hos must go through at the Guantanamo Bay spa. Seriously, they soothe you with clouds of lavender mist and as your soul lays down in a Calgon bath, homegirl blinds you with a wet towel and then brutally murders your face with her fingers without saying a word. TRICKERY! It really felt like she was pulling premature pus babies out of my face and the evil inside her grew stronger as I slowly started to die inside.
Whenever I lifted my hand to see if my face skin was still there, she'd push it down and continue to extract pieces of my charred soul through my pores. And I was paying actual money for this. I was paying for someone to show me what it feels like when tiny demons in dagger shoes Riverdance on top of my face. It was like a Ke$ha song for my face. It was one of those experiences that while it was happening I told myself that I was going to come out a stronger person because of it (aka Oprah bullshit). Only I came out with a face that matched my nalgas: bruised, beaten, sad, swollen and red.
Afterward, I told my friend on IM about the WORST AND MOST TRAUMATIC EXPERIENCE OF MY LIFE and her response was, "Has a baby head ever exploded out of your pussy? No? Then shut the fuck up." Good point. Which leads me to the news that Tina Fey birthed out her second baby friend this week! The details from People:
Tina Fey, already mom to 5-year-old Alice, has introduced a new addition to the family.
The 30 Rock star welcomed a healthy baby girl, Penelope Athena Richmond, on Wednesday with her composer husband Jeffrey Richmond, 50, her rep tells PEOPLE.
If you're going to go Greek, you're going to go with Penelope Athena! Well, you'd probably go with Hopa Fage Yogurt first, and then you'd go with Penelope Athena. Congratulations to Tina, Jeffrey, Alice and the newest baby member of the 30 Rock writing staff.
(Image via NBC)
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I like the names Haven and Honor better than Alice and Penelope. Just saying.
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"Wait until the bitch finds the family of wombats living in her chocha." - MK
*carves in tree*
JACK LOVES TINA
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"I have no snacks for you, only death." ~ annobanano, 08/03/2011
"Kinda like 50 year old hags, thinking they are glamorous after they get their hair blown out in the exact same style as every other woman in the salon chair."
I want you to revisit this comment when you're 50. Better yet, when you're 49.
As to Fey, I respect her and I think she's pretty funny. Her whole drama over whether to have a second child was a little grating (bitch, please - you have resources, you have a lot of job security, and everything will be just fine), but I'm always happy to see talented female comedy writers. Tough gig.
Sarah Smile
Um, Tina doesn't have a time machine, Lit Lion, she wasn't THERE when John Belushi was an ass. She can't say anything or she would be accused of being Corey Feldman.
*chanting as always*
Submitted by Bjork You on Sun, 08/14/2011 - 9:00am.
Tina Fey is a feminist.
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Really? Why didn't she support Jane Curtain when Curtain called out John Belushi for being an ass to women writers during SNL's early days? Fey was a head writer on SNL, but she did not support Curtain's stance, nor did Fey hold Lorne Michaels to the fire for it. Fey tried to tiptoe around the issue.
I think Fey knows how to play Hollyweird politics when it suits her. I think Curtain, Radner, and Anne Beats were feminists of comedy. Fey knows how to play the game.
Submitted by patty cake on Sun, 08/14/2011 - 12:07pm.
daddy will be dead by the time the kid is in her 20s..too old to spawn
xoxox
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Hey, he'll only be in his 70s, which is when the party really starts! (Leave old folks alone; they're getting fucked enough as it is.)
daddy will be dead by the time the kid is in her 20s..too old to spawn
xoxox
The war isn't working.
Tina Fey is a feminist.
Listen to her speech when she won that award in Washington. I think PBS edited some of it (Anderson Cooper called them out for that on his show). SNL is such an old boy's, Ivy network. Count how many male SNL players this year and how many females (one: the great Kristen Wiig). The other women are supporting players.
I agree Hysteria and Vern. Pick up some history books and stay politically active. Rights aren't handed to anyone, and if you sit on your ass, they can be taken away.
Just finished reading her book and she's funny as all hell (no, I am not Tina Fey). Plus she's a Dlisted fan and that puts her in the 'cool for life' category for me. Since you sluts are probably too lazy and broke ass cheap to buy her book, below is an excerpt where she calls out Internet haters with a nice plug for MK too:
......
From Dlisted.com, posted by Centaurious on Monday 9/21/09, 2:08am: "Tina Fey is an ugly, pear-shaped, bitchy, overrated troll."
Dear Centaurious,
First let me say how inspiring it is that you have learned to use a computer. I hate for our correspondence to be confrontational but you have offended me deeply. To say I'm an overrated troll, when you have never seen me guard a bridge, is patently unfair. I'll leave it for others to say if I'm the best but I am certainly one of the most dedicated trolls guarding bridges today. I always ask 3 questions, at least 2 of which are riddles.
As for "ugly, pear shaped and bitchy"? I prefer the terms "offbeat, business class-assed, and exhausted". But I'll take what I can get. There's no such thing as bad press!
Now go to bed, you crazy night owl! You have to be at NASA early in the morning. So they can look for your penis with the Hubble telescope. Affectionately, Tina.
........
congrats on the new baby, Tina!
Submitted by urmomma on Sat, 08/13/2011 - 6:20pm.
...tastes like chicken.
Chicken of the sea?
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"It is unwise to be too sure of one's own wisdom. It is healthy to be reminded that the strongest might weaken and the wisest might err."
Mahatma Gandhi
Submitted by Vern on Sat, 08/13/2011 - 10:52pm.
Thank you, Vern. Tina may not have rioted in the streets for women's rights, but she helped blast a major hole in that 'glass ceiling' giving women access to the real power circles. (I'm glad someone wants to wrangle up in that cut throat territory, cuz I sure as hell don't!)
Lest we forget... I talk to my niece a lot about how much life has changed for the better for women. But we can't take our rights for granted.
My niece rolls her eyes too sometimes. But she is getting the message.
Sometimes humor (like Fey's) is a good way to open doors.
.
.
Wow! Thank you Hysteria. My brilliant, beautiful daughter doesn't understand my appreciation of Gwen Stefani's song: "just a girl", even though she "knows" that life was different for women way back when. (eyeroll) To compare Tina Fey to Rosa Parks may seem extreme, but I feel it is justified, so I am very happy to read that someone else "gets" Tina's contributions to society. Besides the fact that she is funny as hell. I wish you and her all the best.
*chanting as always*
In my grandmother's lifetime, women weren't allowed to vote. They earned 30 cents on the dollar to men and overall were presumed inferior.
Women take their rights for granted now. They aren't aware of or don't care about the women who had the balls to kick down the doors of male-ruled society. Tina Fey is one of those kick ass women, despite her often neurotic, flighty persona.
From the early days of SNL when comedy was still a men's club, Tina becoming a head writer and producer in historic terms is a towering accomplishment. Her work itself has won numerous awards and glowing reviews from the nytimes, washington post and a litany of others.
People who call other really good artists' work "over-rated" are often drawing attention away from their own gaping inadequacies.
Congrats on the new babeh, Tina! "Penelope" is a cool name and tribute to your heritage.
.
.
Submitted by ally-sluts-dlisted on Sat, 08/13/2011 - 2:41pm.
@ Rusty Hooligan - Thank God I'm not alone. Her comedy is tired and boring, same with Amy Poehler for me. They are in the same bunch as Jim Carrey, Will Ferrel and Ben Stiller now. Not to say I didn't find some of their movies funny, but not everyone in their late 30's has the same desperate reach at 20 year old comedy as they. Kinda like 50 year old hags, thinking they are glamorous after they get their hair blown out in the exact same style as every other woman in the salon chair.
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I agree. Fey is WAY overrated and a bit of a kiss-up, but she is not as annoying as so many celebs. She plays up her geekyness way too much for my taste. I think on the whole she is pretty ball-less as a comedian.
Yeah, Callie! I do need a mom too, but Tina's not old enough for that role, lol.
I'd settle to be her much younger sister though. And I know 30 Rock hasn't been as brilliant and that Tracy has been a dick too, but calling it overrated since the first season is a bit much, considering it continued to deliver awesome episodes like Apollo Apollo seasons later.
Submitted by Neurotic on Sat, 08/13/2011 - 7:36pm.
When I was 5, I wanted my name to be Penelope.
Several years later, I want Tina to be my mom. Damn it, you can't always get what you want after all :\
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Or what you NEED, because I think Tina would be an awesome Mom. Funny but a disciplinarian.
When I was 5, I wanted my name to be Penelope.
Several years later, I want Tina to be my mom. Damn it, you can't always get what you want after all :\
Grats, Tina! Love ya and anything you do, because I can laugh at the kind of humor you sell any day.
30 Rock is one of the most over rated shows on the air. The first season was good and quirky but it has been totally phoned in the last couple of years. The celeb guest shots are just HORRIBLE and really ruined the show.
Tina Fey seems nice and humble which I like but I've always thought she was over rated as a writer.
Submitted by urmomma on Sat, 08/13/2011 - 6:18pm.
*walks in with pinky erect*
I call bullshit, bitches. I know you all swallow...but do you spit and rinse afterwards? *smugly laughs* I think not. You dirty.dirty hookers!
============
I'm really not a swallower, more of a wallower, meaning that my partner can cum on my body parts, and we mush together, licking and biting and stuff (I was going to type "shit" but typed "stuff" instead because I didn't want anyone to think I was into that poo stuff).
*blows big boobie kisses @ urmomma!*
♥ Threadkilla!
Suck My Dick: http://youtu.be/Mxap2jnfF-E
angel_i
....have I said too much?! hee.hee.
*loves you hookers and goes to hang out with my man meat, but not before taking mental picture of angel_i's avie with me*
urmomma! *fans self*
♥ Threadkilla!
Suck My Dick: http://youtu.be/Mxap2jnfF-E
...tastes like chicken.
*burps semen*
Submitted by angel_i on Sat, 08/13/2011 - 6:14pm.
Submitted by Bjork You on Sat, 08/13/2011 - 6:11pm.
Submitted by angel_i on Sat, 08/13/2011 - 4:41pm.
Submitted by Bjork You on Sat, 08/13/2011 - 2:58pm.
So, angel_i, do you swallow? (And don't lie; the dlisted gods are watching.)
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If I MUST! Yes:(
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It so does not taste like almonds.
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Ew God no. If it tastes like almonds I'm not sucking on it. So the question is moot:)
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*walks in with pinky erect*
I call bullshit, bitches. I know you all swallow...but do you spit and rinse afterwards? *smugly laughs* I think not. You dirty.dirty hookers!
Submitted by Bjork You on Sat, 08/13/2011 - 6:11pm.
Submitted by angel_i on Sat, 08/13/2011 - 4:41pm.
Submitted by Bjork You on Sat, 08/13/2011 - 2:58pm.
So, angel_i, do you swallow? (And don't lie; the dlisted gods are watching.)
**********************************
If I MUST! Yes:(
=========
It so does not taste like almonds.
********************************
Ew God no. If it tastes like almonds I'm not sucking on it. So the question is moot:)
♥ Threadkilla!
Suck My Dick: http://youtu.be/Mxap2jnfF-E
Submitted by angel_i on Sat, 08/13/2011 - 4:41pm.
Submitted by Bjork You on Sat, 08/13/2011 - 2:58pm.
So, angel_i, do you swallow? (And don't lie; the dlisted gods are watching.)
**********************************
If I MUST! Yes:(
=========
It so does not taste like almonds.
I would NOT want to be 50 and have a newborn.
Derp-- should have read back again...
Submitted by snowpiece on Wed, 07/08/2009 - 5:00pm.
Karen Flatts is always a cunt
Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 08/13/2011 - 11:44am.
What a wonderful introduction to a happy story.
YAY for Tina and Gollum... I like the name Penelope.. ther ewas this dipshit guy down the hall from me in college who saw that written on a girl's room and said "Peen-el-ope. What kind of name is Peen-el-ope?)
Idiot. He had to read Antigone later in the year and you can imagine
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I should have read yours before posting. Apparently idiocy like that is shared by telemarketers and dumb college guys.
Submitted by snowpiece on Wed, 07/08/2009 - 5:00pm.
Karen Flatts is always a cunt
Whenever I hear the name Penelope, all I can think of is a friend of mine with that name who had a telemarketer call and ask for "Peen-a-lope". Like she was some kind of cock-cantaloupe hybrid.
Telemarketers are among the genius of the earth...
Submitted by snowpiece on Wed, 07/08/2009 - 5:00pm.
Karen Flatts is always a cunt
Submitted by Bjork You on Sat, 08/13/2011 - 2:58pm.
So, angel_i, do you swallow? (And don't lie; the dlisted gods are watching.)
**********************************
If I MUST! Yes:(
♥ Threadkilla!
Suck My Dick: http://youtu.be/Mxap2jnfF-E
Submitted by SugarFreeRedBull on Sat, 08/13/2011 - 3:07pm.
What? I went to Courtney Stodden's Refinement Academy - A Finishing School for SlutSlaves
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LOLOLOLOLOL!
♥ Threadkilla!
Suck My Dick: http://youtu.be/Mxap2jnfF-E
Congrats to Tina! Love her!
~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~
Hey, leave my girl Amy Poehler aloooooooone!
Love. Her. So damn much.
Can't say I'm keen on the name Penelope (like it matters) but I can get with Athena.
Submitted by ally-sluts-dlisted on Sat, 08/13/2011 - 2:59pm.
LOL joe shmoe, I wouldn't go as far as saying they shouldn't set foot in a beauty salon, just stop getting the Rachel haircut in the ever popular (god knows why) frosted straw color.
===============
Bring back the Gosselin!
http://www.babble.com/CS/blogs/famecrawler/2009/05/JON20KATE20PLUS20EIGH...
What? I went to Courtney Stodden's Refinement Academy - A Finishing School for SlutSlaves
Submitted by SugarFreeRedBull on Sat, 08/13/2011 - 2:58pm.
Bjork You - hubby likes when I look UP at him and his ropes of gooey man jumpers shoot across my pretty eyelashes.
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oh. my. fucking. god.
Joe shmore,, SORRY!! lol
LOL joe shmoe, I wouldn't go as far as saying they shouldn't set foot in a beauty salon, just stop getting the Rachel haircut in the ever popular (god knows why) frosted straw color.
LOL joe shmore, I wouldn't go as far as saying they shouldn't set foot in a beauty salon, just stop getting the Rachel haircut in the ever popular (god knows why) frosted straw color.
So, angel_i, do you swallow? (And don't lie; the dlisted gods are watching.)
Bjork You - hubby likes when I look UP at him and his ropes of gooey man jumpers shoot across my pretty eyelashes.
I like how facials make me Feel
I'll use your sperm for a chemical peel!
Submitted by Bjork You on Sat, 08/13/2011 - 2:40pm.
Submitted by SugarFreeRedBull on Sat, 08/13/2011 - 11:31am: "...I've never had a G-rated facial, but if you wait for a night after the X-rated facial dries on your skin, you can peel that shit off like one of those Biore blackhead masks!
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I was just talking about your ass on the Joy Behar (sp?) thread. I used your term "man meat" and was wondering where the hell you've been.
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HER term man meat?! That's the name of the hottie on Outsourced! ;p
♥ Threadkilla!
Suck My Dick: http://youtu.be/Mxap2jnfF-E
ally-sluts-dlisted on Sat, 08/13/2011 - 2:41pm.
@ Rusty Hooligan - Thank God I'm not alone. Her comedy is tired and boring, same with Amy Poehler for me. They are in the same bunch as Jim Carrey, Will Ferrel and Ben Stiller now. Not to say I didn't find some of their movies funny, but not everyone in their late 30's has the same desperate reach at 20 year old comedy as they. Kinda like 50 year old hags, thinking they are glamorous after they get their hair blown out in the exact same style as every other woman in the salon chair.
*******
I KNOW! Those 50 year old hags should be lined up and shot. The nerve they have thinking they might be glamorous. In fact, how dare they even set foot in a beauty salon!
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Doctor My Eyes
Your right Rusty, to each their own I suppose. See, I think Jimmy Fallon was hilarious in his SNL days.He does some pretty good impressions I think. Doing Neil Young singing Pants on the ground lol. Yeah, some say tired and all, but subjective, yes.
Submitted by ally-sluts-dlisted on Sat, 08/13/2011 - 2:41pm.
LOL @ "Kinda like 50 year old hags, thinking they are glamorous after they get their hair blown out in the exact same style as every other woman in the salon chair."
It's all subjective, innit? Like what you like, I say. I just don't think Fey walks on water, as many do. (You forgot the equally smirky Jimmy Fallon.)
@ Rusty Hooligan - Thank God I'm not alone. Her comedy is tired and boring, same with Amy Poehler for me. They are in the same bunch as Jim Carrey, Will Ferrel and Ben Stiller now. Not to say I didn't find some of their movies funny, but not everyone in their late 30's has the same desperate reach at 20 year old comedy as they. Kinda like 50 year old hags, thinking they are glamorous after they get their hair blown out in the exact same style as every other woman in the salon chair.