Open Post: Hosted By The Empress Of Lucite On A Bike
Shauna Sand can float on a sliver of Lucite above sand, give life to a dead Segway, tame a wild scooter and ride a bike in heels, yet most dumb hos still don't gather together at the stripper store on Sundays to worship her as their savior and idol?! The Empress of Lucite can do everything that Moses and Jesus did, but she does it while looking an exquisite water flower whose petals are made of angel labias. I mean, why did Harry Potter even bother going to that wizard school when he could've learned real magic from Shauna Sand? This world, I'll never understand it!
The mere mortals of Miami basically witnessed the sequel to the parting of the red sea (no comment) today when Shauna Sand used her exquisite lucite heels to pedal a bike around the beach. Actually, I think Shauna gently laid her heels on the pedals and the bike pedaled itself.
That bike is never going to wash its pedals and seat ever again. Well, the seat might have to be dipped in boiling liquid antibiotics by order of the health department, but Shauna's skid marks of elegance will definitely never be dusted from those pedals.
• 
Anorexic poser.... what the hell is she good for anyway?
Well, my Internet is not working, so now it's official, all my joys have been taken from me. No kindle, no Netflix streaming, and no Internet porn. Also, I am out of liquor. And it's 4AM, so I'm staring at the wall.
@howdareyou--it's standard policy to return the old one, I'm just worried they'll see what's on it. Some of the files are books that are not even offered in a legit e-book format. I'm going to cross my fingers and hope they don't figure it out and cancel my account.
*continues staring at wall* Wow, I may actually have to get our an actual book.
undinespragg - I'd say don't worry about it. I doubt they check for those things, but even if they did, you could deny, deny, deny, say, for instance, that a friend had borrowed it or something. It's possible they want the old one back so that they don't get complaints from people who end up with 2 working readers.
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"Your ignorance makes me ill and angry. Your savageness...must...end."
Ok people of similar morals (I hope). I have a story about my Kindle and need advice:
I went to use my Kindle today and it froze on the screensaver. I charged it all the way and it still is just showing half the screensaver, like it tried to disappear, but couldn't quite do it. I tried restarting it (holding power button 15-30 seconds) with no luck. I was really surprised b/c I am always very careful with it, and it stays in its case.
So, I called Amazon customer service. They asked me about 3 questions and said they would send me a new Kindle and it will be here in 2 days! I am supposed to print out the shipping label and mail the old one back. (I couldn't be happier with the customer service, obviously.)
But, here is the problem/why I need advice dlisters: I have about 50 books on my Kindle, and have paid for exactly 2 of them. *avoids direct eye contact* I put them on using Calibre. Will the Amazon people inspect the Kindle I return and be able to see that I have e-books on there I haven't paid for?
Feel free to berate me for stealing, etc., but does anybody have experience with this? I'm hoping it's so broken that they won't be able to see what's on it.
Friggin Corps on wheels i SWEAR!
___________________
"The world is a pretty nice place if you're happy"
John Garfield
No one lives forever
Submitted by beakers bitch on Sun, 08/14/2011 - 8:23pm.
Submitted by Bjork You on Sun, 08/14/2011 - 8:19pm.
That reminds me of the awesomeness I stumbled onto surfing youtube one night. Bea Arthur roasting Joan Collins!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ItU7Uo2lcz0
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Oh my gosh, I had posted that on another thread tonight. Look at her shirt!
Submitted by Bjork You on Sun, 08/14/2011 - 8:19pm.
I meant for next time.
As far as Dean, all I can say is *hic*.
"The curvy blonde adjusted her ample assets as they poured out of a neon green bikini top, yesterday on a beach in St Barts, the South of France, but struggled to contain them." (DM)
Submitted by Bjork You on Sun, 08/14/2011 - 8:22pm.
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Sun, 08/14/2011 - 8:08pm.
Submitted by kittymuffin on Sun, 08/14/2011 - 7:59pm.
I am so glad that we will not be feeding Mr. Alphonso.
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SEE! We took your advice!
LOL@Mr.Alphonso.
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Submitted by Jintess on Sun, 08/14/2011 - 2:40pm.
You're right, when even these people boo you, it's time to figure out how strong the shower rod is and how durable your shoe l
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Sun, 08/14/2011 - 8:08pm.
Submitted by kittymuffin on Sun, 08/14/2011 - 7:59pm.
Apology accepted and appreciated.
We all come here to vent, and sometimes when things are pissing me off it is easier to take it out on an innocent person here vs taking it out on the right person IRL.
yeah, my Husband will yell from the couch..."what's so funny"
he does not get the D
Submitted by Bjork You on Sun, 08/14/2011 - 8:19pm.
That reminds me of the awesomeness I stumbled onto surfing youtube one night. Bea Arthur roasting Joan Collins!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ItU7Uo2lcz0
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Sun, 08/14/2011 - 8:08pm.
Submitted by kittymuffin on Sun, 08/14/2011 - 7:59pm.
I am so glad that we will not be feeding Mr. Alphonso.
Submitted by RustyHooligan on Sun, 08/14/2011 - 7:59pm.
Submitted by Bjork You on Sun, 08/14/2011 - 6:11pm.
I am eating Amy's Organic Thai Soup.
Fresh cilantro? (I assume it already has enough chili.)
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Bitch, I finished that soup HOURS ago. Where you been, you Hooligan?
I cannot stop watching old Dean Martin roasts on youtube.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LTEC6cybls4
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hSIczRdpOb8&feature=related
Submitted by kittymuffin on Sun, 08/14/2011 - 7:59pm.
Apology accepted and appreciated.
We all come here to vent, and sometimes when things are pissing me off it is easier to take it out on an innocent person here vs taking it out on the right person IRL.
No worries, we can hug it out and move on!
((hugs)) : )
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Submitted by Jintess on Sun, 08/14/2011 - 2:40pm.
You're right, when even these people boo you, it's time to figure out how strong the shower rod is and how durable your shoe l
Submitted by Bjork You on Sun, 08/14/2011 - 6:11pm.
I am eating Amy's Organic Thai Soup.
Fresh cilantro? (I assume it already has enough chili.)
"The curvy blonde adjusted her ample assets as they poured out of a neon green bikini top, yesterday on a beach in St Barts, the South of France, but struggled to contain them." (DM)
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Sun, 08/14/2011 - 7:44pm.
Submitted by kittymuffin on Sun, 08/14/2011 - 7:38pm.
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Sun, 08/14/2011 - 6:01pm.
hey evil..I was reading back some posts...do you like some ole time toy's...Novelties..not sure if it is you..if not..maybe you can let me know who it is(sorry if this is in the wrong place )
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First off, I want to say sorry about yesterday. I was rude and shouldn't have cursed you out like I did, so I hope you will accept my sincerest apology.
I don't think I have actually ever discussed it on the D, but I do collect novelties and antiques, collectibles, etc. I am probably not the person you were thinking of though, and I can't think off who it is off hand.
I kind of collect old stuff I like and not any one thing in particular, well except old, rich men (I kid, I kid!).
I want to also say sorry, I come across here as a bitch, and do not mean to..it's like a place to vent..and it is not right..so to all I have been a bitch too..sorry..I really do love this site..MK..and all you funny people
Tara Reid married that Danish dood in Greece. I blame the ouzo.
"The curvy blonde adjusted her ample assets as they poured out of a neon green bikini top, yesterday on a beach in St Barts, the South of France, but struggled to contain them." (DM)
Submitted by kittymuffin on Sun, 08/14/2011 - 7:38pm.
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Sun, 08/14/2011 - 6:01pm.
hey evil..I was reading back some posts...do you like some ole time toy's...Novelties..not sure if it is you..if not..maybe you can let me know who it is(sorry if this is in the wrong place )
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First off, I want to say sorry about yesterday. I was rude and shouldn't have cursed you out like I did, so I hope you will accept my sincerest apology.
I don't think I have actually ever discussed it on the D, but I do collect novelties and antiques, collectibles, etc. I am probably not the person you were thinking of though, and I can't think off who it is off hand.
I kind of collect old stuff I like and not any one thing in particular, well except old, rich men (I kid, I kid!).
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Submitted by Jintess on Sun, 08/14/2011 - 2:40pm.
You're right, when even these people boo you, it's time to figure out how strong the shower rod is and how durable your shoe l
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Sun, 08/14/2011 - 6:01pm.
hey evil..I was reading back some posts...do you like some ole time toy's...Novelties..not sure if it is you..if not..maybe you can let me know who it is(sorry if this is in the wrong place )
Submitted by beakers bitch on Sun, 08/14/2011 - 7:10pm
Hahahaha! Speaking of ex MILs, my evil one is sending my boy home with a drum set. Oh, I'll get her back somehow. I'll get her back, indeed. *plots*
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Aw, that sounds kind of cute. However, that kind of thing, buying kids noisy toys, used to be my thing until I had one. Wait til he's a teen and blasting god-knows-what in his room (although kids use headphones for everything now).
Submitted by Bjork You on Sun, 08/14/2011 - 6:33pm.
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:D Welcs!!!!
****************************************************are scientifically proven to be right even when they are wrong.
Submitted by catholicschoolgirl on Sun, 08/14/2011 - 6:53pm.
Whenever I'm feeling evil, I love watching those types of end-of-the-world disaster movies and picturing bitches like my ex-MIL coming face to face with satan (who would just end up running away from her screaming anyhow, but it's fun to imagine).
Hahahaha! Speaking of ex MILs, my evil one is sending my boy home with a drum set. Oh, I'll get her back somehow. I'll get her back, indeed. *plots*
Oooh, the Real Housewives start in 5 - I'll get Insidious tomorrow (besides, these Jersey whores are more evil then anything that crawls out of the bowels of hell).
'Night all - have a great evening!
*slaps Bjorkie on the ass on the way out*
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And pharmaceuticals were invented for me and Liza Minelli. ©2011 BjorkYou.
Submitted by Bjork You on Sun, 08/14/2011 - 6:09pm.
Submitted by catholicschoolgirl on Sun, 08/14/2011 - 5:59pm.
How have I been? See the Joy Beher thread from yesterday...
How nice to see family and friends, but it is work, being so fucking nice, isn't it? Unless you want to be a royal douche like a late relative of mine who couldn't work up the decency to pretend to be nice, even after hosting and feeding her fat ass.
It's been pouring buckets in NYC on this lazy Sunday. Evil Digby and I stepped out to go puddle hunting. Other than that, I've been on dlisted ALL DAY.
You Catholics and your apocalypse stuff. Thank goodness for us Episcopals, with our dull-ass looking churches (except for St. John the Divine in NYC, where we tried to copy you, and as usual, gave up midway) to take all of the fun out of the end-of-the-earth stories with our boring-ass rationalism. I love devil movies. Did you see "Insidious" with that hot-looking Patrick Wilson. Okay, I digress...
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Bjorkie - I saw and responded (and saw that you responded) in the Joy Behar thread. Again, don't let others get you down, it's really not worth it. Like relatives, just hang with the cool ones and stand on the sidelines and make fun of the assholes (while keeping the drinks refilled, of course).
And quit trying to take all the fun out of my apocalypse stuff! Whenever I'm feeling evil, I love watching those types of end-of-the-world disaster movies and picturing bitches like my ex-MIL coming face to face with satan (who would just end up running away from her screaming anyhow, but it's fun to imagine). I haven't seen "Insidious" and am debating getting off my lazy Sunday-night ass and going to get it from Redbox. Is it worth it?
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And pharmaceuticals were invented for me and Liza Minelli. ©2011 BjorkYou.
I just added some garlic; thanks Queeny.
Important question:
I am eating Amy's Organic Thai Soup. It needs a kick, and it's not salt. Any suggestions? (I'm serious, so no "add semen" and other such nonsensical suggestions. Plus, I made it quite clear that I don't swallow.)
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Garlic powder? thyme? if those do not match Thai flavors im sorry I don't cook.
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Women are scientifically proven to be right even when they are wrong.
I collect the old bottles shaped like bells and stuff. Some website grabbed my photo of bottles and posted it along with part of my text. Pissed me off.
Important question:
I am eating Amy's Organic Thai Soup. It needs a kick, and it's not salt. Any suggestions? (I'm serious, so no "add semen" and other such nonsensical suggestions. Plus, I made it quite clear that I don't swallow.)
Submitted by catholicschoolgirl on Sun, 08/14/2011 - 5:59pm.
How have I been? See the Joy Beher thread from yesterday...
How nice to see family and friends, but it is work, being so fucking nice, isn't it? Unless you want to be a royal douche like a late relative of mine who couldn't work up the decency to pretend to be nice, even after hosting and feeding her fat ass.
It's been pouring buckets in NYC on this lazy Sunday. Evil Digby and I stepped out to go puddle hunting. Other than that, I've been on dlisted ALL DAY.
You Catholics and your apocalypse stuff. Thank goodness for us Episcopals, with our dull-ass looking churches (except for St. John the Divine in NYC, where we tried to copy you, and as usual, gave up midway) to take all of the fun out of the end-of-the-earth stories with our boring-ass rationalism. I love devil movies. Did you see "Insidious" with that hot-looking Patrick Wilson. Okay, I digress...
Submitted by WhiskeyRiverGirl on Sun, 08/14/2011 - 5:27pm.
I am annoyed right now. I was doing an image search for vintage Avon bottles. I collect them. Found one of my photos on someone's website.
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When I was a little girl, I loved those little pins they had that were like dolls with these horrible solid perfumes inside.
Avon doesn't make cool stuff anymore. : (
I remember they had a banana shaped sun tan lotion called Suntana. I thought I was so cool at the lake with my Suntana.
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Submitted by Jintess on Sun, 08/14/2011 - 2:40pm.
You're right, when even these people boo you, it's time to figure out how strong the shower rod is and how durable your shoe l
Submitted by Bjork You on Sun, 08/14/2011 - 5:43pm.
Yeah, CSG is here! Where have you been, slut?
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Hi Bjorkie! August is turning out to be the month of reunions. I've gotten together with visiting relatives, visiting out-of-town high-school friends and former coworkers. It's been a blast but I'm tired. If my f'in job wouldn't keep interfering with my social life, I'd be in much better shape.
So how are you? Are you and Evil Digby having fun this summer despite the chaotic weather? We had about a week of nice temperatures before all hell broke loose yesterday with hail, storms etc. And yes, I realize the fact that I'm obsessed with weather makes me a huge loser, but I can't help it. I blame it on my Catholic roots and the fact that I'm constantly on alert for the coming of the apocalypse (which as we all know from watching Hollywood apocraphyl movies, ALWAYS starts with threatening weather and stuff).
__________________________________
And pharmaceuticals were invented for me and Liza Minelli. ©2011 BjorkYou.
Yeah, CSG is here! Where have you been, slut?
Submitted by Bjork You on Sun, 08/14/2011 - 1:51pm.
Submitted by little_rascal on Sun, 08/14/2011 - 1:00pm.
For all you jelly h8ers!
Shauna Sand's saggy gray beef curtains from egotastic.com NSFW ---->
http://cdn03.cdn.egotastic.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/06/3668_shauna-sa...
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I will never, never, never, never, never, never, never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever forgive you for that link. And will never, never, never, never, never, never, never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever forgive myself for clicking it. Darn you, forever, little_rascal!!!!!! (I should print that photo out and tape it to the bag of chips and other such foods to help me with my diet.)
_______________________
Bwahahahahahahahahahaha!
*smooches Lil Ras and Bjorkie*
HS, I watched "Hannibal" (again) last night and Shauna's decaying meat curtain reminds me of the final scene when Lecter opens his Dean and Deluca food box on the plane and the camera scans the interesting little food holder in the corner of the box with the grey, gelatinous food mixture. I would much prefer to eat a portion of Ray Liotta's brain then to even inadvertantly look on Shauna's necrotic labia. But that's just me.
__________________________________
And pharmaceuticals were invented for me and Liza Minelli. ©2011 BjorkYou.
I am annoyed right now. I was doing an image search for vintage Avon bottles. I collect them. Found one of my photos on someone's website.
Submitted by Bjork You on Sun, 08/14/2011 - 1:51pm.
LOL@LittleRascal
I actually saw the vid (I was curious!). Things didn't look so bad in motion, but unless she was very distracted by the presence of the camera, she looked to me like a lousy lay. Surprise!
Submitted by little_rascal on Sun, 08/14/2011 - 1:00pm.
For all you jelly h8ers!
Shauna Sand's saggy gray beef curtains from egotastic.com NSFW ---->
http://cdn03.cdn.egotastic.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/06/3668_shauna-sa...
============
I will never, never, never, never, never, never, never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever forgive you for that link. And will never, never, never, never, never, never, never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever forgive myself for clicking it. Darn you, forever, little_rascal!!!!!! (I should print that photo out and tape it to the bag of chips and other such foods to help me with my diet.)
@Bjork you,
I CANNOT stop laughing at the sentence for cum bum you crafted!! Got dang, I love urban dictionary.
I knew my D-listed peeps would understand...
No, Rascall, i didn`t watch it. I won`t after that nipple pic. That is just horrible. It looks painful.
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"I also have felt the nose heat of the man meat."
SFRB, 04/26/11
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http://www.youtube.com/user/beeper246#p/a/u/2/BrO86m4qAEs
@ UBF
Hahaha, she does have those mutilated nipples. Gross! Did you see her sex tape? Her nipples look so scary, she always hides then under her hair.
LaChaylo:
Sorry for the cum bum (def: noun. equivalent to a buzzwrecker; when you get all juicy for someone, and that someone reveals him/herself to be a tool; e.g., "I go to the grocery store, and I see a HAWT man, but I check him out, and he's wearing an IRISH JUGGALO TSHIRT. What a cum bum."
A new entry for the urban dictionary.
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From the urban dictionary:
1. juggalo 9140 up, 3428 down
For the most part, an uneducated, pathetic excuse for a human being who listens to the group ICP who are bold enough to actually consider themselves musicians. People you see wearing "hatchet-man" accesories. They should not be allowed to reproduce, because that is too cruel to future generations. ICP isn't rap, it isn't metal, it isn't rap/metal, and it isn't horrorpop. There is only one way to properly categorize ICP; unnecessarily and unartfully offensive and obnoxious noise.
"That juggalo is stupid enough to think that ICP is music."
@ Uncle Brain-Fart
Here's the original photo from egotastic. It looks like she is climbing on top of a guy in car:
http://cdn02.cdn.egotastic.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/06/3668_shauna-sa...
Does MK now that his favorite lady has a deformed nipple??
http://egotastic.com/full-size-image/51716/#imagetop
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"I also have felt the nose heat of the man meat."
SFRB, 04/26/11
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http://www.youtube.com/user/beeper246#p/a/u/2/BrO86m4qAEs
Lil Rascall, i m trying to figure that pic out. But WHAT IS THAT? Did a hamster gnaw on her bits one night? I ll never eat Roast Beef again in my life. WTF?
"I also have felt the nose heat of the man meat."
SFRB, 04/26/11
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http://www.youtube.com/user/beeper246#p/a/u/2/BrO86m4qAEs
Submitted by little_rascal on Sun, 08/14/2011 - 1:00pm.
There goes lunch!
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Submitted by El Bastardo on Mon, 07/04/2011 - 11:39am.
You're only bisexual if someone rams a bottle of water up your ass and you cum. FACT.
For all you jelly h8ers!
Shauna Sand's saggy gray beef curtains from egotastic.com NSFW ---->
http://cdn03.cdn.egotastic.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/06/3668_shauna-sa...
PLEASE MK, NEW POST. The political shit was not a good idea1
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Submitted by El Bastardo on Mon, 07/04/2011 - 11:39am.
You're only bisexual if someone rams a bottle of water up your ass and you cum. FACT.
Submitted by caprica six on Sat, 08/13/2011 - 7:05pm.
Why the hell not? She's rolling around, with kids, in Lucite heels, just enjoying shit. Let her be. Again, until a slut gets pissed on, or has a nip/vag slip or fights with walmart/denny's trash, then let's cut a ho some slack and let her tool around town.....in her precious lucite heels and I can understand that you are all VERY jellus becuz there can only be ONE perfect pair of precious lucite heels and they will forEVER be on the feet of the MOST ELEGANT Shauna Sand!
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^THIS^
(but I just fixed it at the end there:)
*AHEMMMM!!! PERSONALLY I JUST DON'T SEE HOW WE COULD POSSIBLY EVER GET ENOUGH OF THIS ONE POST RIGHT HERE!!!*
♥ Threadkilla!
Suck My Dick: http://youtu.be/Mxap2jnfF-E
Submitted by LaChaylo on Sun, 08/14/2011 - 11:22am.
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Sun, 08/14/2011 - 11:19am.
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EC,
Your frostingy sweetness is always welcome at my table! Let's hope the dish works out.
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Thanks!
I seriously want a FULL report on your dinner. It sounds marvelous.
I am actually stuffing a chicken breast, well breasts, with swiss cheese, bacon and some herbs for lunch. We'll see how that works out!
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Submitted by El Bastardo on Mon, 07/04/2011 - 11:39am.
You're only bisexual if someone rams a bottle of water up your ass and you cum. FACT.
Jesus Christ in a sidecar! I hate my fucking neighbor. Not only does he fight in the middle of the night with his wife about nominal sums of money (Motherfucker, I will give you $10 if you just STFU!), he is now doing yard work outside of my window. I just got to sleep 3 hours ago. At least I am moving in 2 weeks. *leaves to consume large amounts of caffeine and pack*
Her seat is too low. Why does everyone insist on riding around with their seats too low?
I mean, on top of, WHO RIDES A BIKE IN SHOES LIKE THAT WHAT AN ASSHOLE.
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Sun, 08/14/2011 - 11:19am.
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EC,
Your frostingy sweetness is always welcome at my table! Let's hope the dish works out.