Blind Items: I Guess, You Guess

August 12, 2011 / Posted by:

After walking her dog last week, this C list, (on her way to B list) actress (film and television) stopped by a park and let her dog run free. When her dog bit a young kid at the park, this actress allegedly gave the parents of the child a nice lecture on how they should control their child. She wouldn’t let them speak about their child’s injuries and threatened to sue the family because their kid harassed her dog. The parents stood bewildered as they held their crying child while the actress grabbed her dog and left. (BuzzFoto)

This act of ice cold bitchery sounds like it came from one of my dead-hearted idols January Jones? And I’m sure that before she disappeared in a cloud of cold white smoke, she handed the leash to the parents and told them that their brat of a child needed it more than her dog does. Then she told them that after she takes her dog to the groomers to get the child tears and blood out of his fur, she’s going to send them the bill. She’s going to make the best mother ever.

So much speculation and it’s been going on for years that she will finally leave him because he simply won’t, ever, change. But do you know the lengths she went through to get him, and keep him? Did you know she enrolled in classes at university, not because she was interested for herself, but because she wanted to be able to talk to him about…things? She wanted to be able to keep up. She wanted HIM to know/believe/think she could keep up. She worships his brain. She wanted to make sure that he was finding her brain adequately stimulating.

They say that he’s been trying to get out of there. He hasn’t tried. There has been no attempt. It’s kinda futile. First because, even if he were to want to bail, everyone in his life would be against it, and has warned him of the consequences, but also because she has told him straight up, on several occasions, “I will never leave you”. This one doesn’t get enough credit for her tenacity. (Lainey Gossip)

This is a new one for me. Going through years of higher learning to get some dick? I hope it was online courses at University of Phoenix and she didn’t actually sit through hours upon hours of classes under fluorescent lighting. For good dick, I’d wax some of my parts until my vocal cords shriveled into the size of a newt’s clit from screaming, but I wouldn’t go back to a life of homework and writing papers. Fuck that.

I’ll guess that Jennifer Garner is the one worshiping the brain inside of Ben Affleck’s skull? Ugh. High school guidance counselors, please tell your students to go to college if they want a degree, not if they want some Affleck dick. It’s not worth it.

There’s something about this top Hollywood star who secretly split from his D-list actress wife – and she’s about to file for divorce! They still pretend to be a happy couple and even appear in public with their children, but the truth is he has a weak spot for prostitutes! (National Enquirer via Blind Gossip)

Ben Stiller & Christine Taylor? There’s probably a whole lot of prostitution whores out there who have had to pull Stiller pubes out of their mouths during the car ride home. Ben Stiller looks like he has coarse ass dick bush hairs that can poke through a condom. Whores beware.

One of my favorite American Idol castoffs was at it again the other night. Running from red carpet to red carpet to earn a few bucks and stay in the spotlight, she did spend some time hitting on this becoming very popular very quickly B list movie actor who is definitely not a bad looking guy. When he told her he was gay and not interested, she told him it did not matter to her. She thought they could help each other out. Well, he did help out someone else a few years ago. (CDAN)

Please tell me this is my former arch rival (in my head) Kristy Lee Cock and Taylor Lautner?

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